Seeking Alistair
by Ryker Davis
Summary: *Updated Ch 59 Flashback continued to Cullen finding Alistair. * Cailan survives Ostagar. He sends the Hero after Alistair in Kirkwall. Drunk and unwilling to see duty done Amell must share how they got to this point and convince the prince to return home. Balancing her duty to the crown, wardens & herself. T rating for implied relations. Returning to once a week updates.
1. The Kings Visit

The throne room of the Vigil stood cleared of individuals by request of the Kings Guard. His unannounced visit had staff and servants scrambling alike. I watched as he circles the large roaring fire oblivious to the chaos.

I offered him the grand chair on the dais, but he deftly waived it away requesting that I follow him. I thought I heard him say something about receiving a tour of the keep but he had taken the lead and wasn't slowing.

Several feet behind us walked his honor guard, several men who'd fought at Ostagar two years ago and had to forcibly removed from the battlefield. As we stepped out on the walkway between towers and the cold wind brutally whipped us, I had no doubt they preferred to be back inside and out of the northern seashore climate in the dead of winter.

But a look at the Kings face gave me the impression he was looking for privacy. It had been his greatest joy when traveling with us during the blight and his biggest sorrow returning to Denerim.

Teyrn and I had only returned yesterday from the Amgarrak Thiag and dealing with the desecration of Caridin's anvil and the abomination's it created. Things always went wrong when people who had no magical training started tampering with things they shouldn't.

Which meant we had less than a day from the time my new Seneschal Garevel notified me of the intended visit. I am not sure why I was surprised and should have expected it. He had given me busy work not knowing exactly what to do with me. And of course, now would be the time he chose to visit.

The Vigil was a mess with construction. The city of Amaranthine was almost finished with repairs and rebuilding but the Keep was taking a bit longer.

Voldrilk while an amazing structural engineer had no patience and did not suffer fools lightly. Which meant all surface dwellers who thought about either working for him or having an opinion about his stonework, were fools.

He was also being touchy as there was a second attempt on Dworkin's life driving his bother back underground. We had killed the Qunari assassins, but the dwarf wasn't convinced that he wouldn't be attacked again. Dworkin alluded how close he was to figuring out the recipe for their exploding powder and promised I would get the first batch.

Justice, Anders, Velanna and Sigrun all vanished. Justice and Velanna right after the battle for the Vigil, Anders and Sig while I was away dealing with the Golems. Leaving me to be the Warden Commander of two. No wonder the King was coming to check on my progress.

"The repairs are coming along nicely I see. I heard she held out for four days before the horde broke through. The stories told about its siege are almost mythic close to stories about the blight itself."

I looked out over the scattered building materials, the destroyed walls, scorched lower bailey and tried to imagine what it was the king saw. Because we weren't looking at the same construction. "Voldrilk, the dwarf assures me that while it is a mess, when he is done the Vigil will stand another century. The massive outpouring of coin and donations from the rest of Thedas has really helped."

"You're not happy, here are you?"

"Your Majesty?"

"Cailan… there is no need to be formal. Especially as it is just the two of us. We are friends and we shed blood together, remember. I owe you more than my life. But I worry for you. Your unhappiness hangs about you like a thick cloak. I didn't request this command to punish you. I felt you deserved it."

I studied the man for several moments. His hair had grown back to the shoulder length it was when she first met him. He had allowed himself a mustache and cropped beard. Even his demeaner was less boyish. His time traveling had aged him, in a good way. Ferelden needed a more settled king on the throne.

"I know, Sire but you are still the King. To call you Cailan in an official capacity is offensive. But to your point, you could have sent me back to the new tower they are constructing. I heard the Knight Commander requested me. They said my knowledge would be beneficial to the Circle as First Enchanter. Not that there are any mages left in Ferelden beside me."

Cailan frowned. Her body language was screaming at him to do something. He just didn't know if it was the loss of everyone, the new command, or general apathy but she had grown even more distant since killing of the Archdemon.

Not that by the time the Landsmeet she was friendly with more than the dwarf, the elf and Alistair. When Aedan had disappeared searching for Morrigan he'd hoped she would join in some of the celebrations.

She refused to talk about the Landsmeet or the decision to allow Loghain to join the Wardens. In fact, he was surprised she didn't leave when the ex-regnant survived his joining. His little brother didn't even wait to see if he survived before Alistair disappeared.

Admittedly he was to blame for some of that debacle at the Landsmeet. But when Loghain declared his daughter worthy of the name _Theirin_ with Alistair standing in front of him, Cailan decided not to hide his identity anymore.

"Yes, they did. And while the Grey Wardens had denied their request, I seconded that refusal. I would not see you locked in a Circle again. I am working on a way to remove the Chantry and the Templars as well. Does that please you?"


	2. The Pep Talk

Cailin looked so sincere in his desire to please that I hated I wasn't more appreciative. Truth was I doubted the removal was possible. He had already ordered the Tower have autonomy and was ignored.

We were standing on the outer wall of the keep and I looked out across the Amaranthine Ocean wondering why I was still ho-hum. "Yes. Your intentions, your Majesty, mean the world to me."

"But," Cailan prompted.

"But I doubt" I paused and tried to gather my thoughts and express something only Teyrn knew. I toyed with the end of my braid, "I am sorry, Cailan but the truth is I was supposed to die. And I am at a loss. I don't know where to go from here. I don't know the first thing about being a Grey Warden except kill the archdemon and end the blight. While we were traveling, I was nothing more than a glorified healer."

"You kicked as much arse as the rest of us. Not one of us traveling Ferelden and facing everything we faced stayed what they originally were." He paused and continued having taken my hand in his and squeezed.

"Your body count was equal to Aedan's and Alistair's. By now even you must admit you've become the warrior healer. You killed the Archdemon, the Architect, the Mother and scores of Darkspawns. Golems you just dealt with and everything you have killed since your assignment here. It's said you saved the city of Amaranthine even after everyone else gave up on it."

I couldn't muster more than a halfhearted smile. The king was attempting to give me a pep talk. The least I could do was pretend he succeeded.

"Trust me Sire, I had help. A lot of it. It was their skills that put me where I could take the finally blow if you like. But that is not the point. Do you know why Riordan wanted Loghain made a Warden?"

Cailan could tell by the way she spat the name of his former Regnant she was holding on to a lot of animosity. He would have to ask her one day about the bruises that Loghain sported when released from the holding cell in Fort Drakon after the battle with the dragon. He shook his head no.

I didn't say anything for several minutes trying to find the words. These were Grey Warden secrets but even they didn't want anything to do with me since I survived. "The reason a Warden has to kill an Archdemon is because his soul will jump from Darkspawn to Darkspawn. They are empty vessels with no soul. A perfect container. But a Warden has a soul and the two souls war in one body. It kills both the Warden's the Archdemon's soul, and the Warden's body."

"But you didn't die," Cailan said a frown marring his still boyish face.

"Exactly."

"Why? Is the Archdemon not dead. I saw the defeated dragon on the rooftop. Are we going to have another blight on our hands? Is this why the Wardens were pleased by the additional Grey Warden base in Ferelden."

I grew pensive because I didn't have the answers. "I don't know. The Architect spoke as if the 'Old God' was gone. But I don't know if we can believe him. The Dragon part of him _is_ dead. I made sure of that myself. Aedan was not happy with me taking the last blow but… after all that he did he'll have to live with the disappointment."

"You thought you were going to die if you killed the Archdemon. You were to become the sacrifice. And now after preparing to die you must live. That is hard thing."

I chuckle wryly the irony is not lost on me. I had been looking for an escape but fate as it seemed had different ideas. "It doesn't help that Weisshaupt doesn't know what to do with me since I survived and want me as far from the Anderfels as possible."

"Their loss. Ferelden's gain. Ferelden can always use a beautiful hero and her dashing King."

"Flirt," I said a grin pulling at the corner of my mouth.

"Mage."

"Name calling is really beneath you Sire."

"You started it. Besides, I had to do something to get you to smile. And since you took sex off the table you tied my hands."

I giggle despite myself. Sometimes when I am around him it feels like the days when it was just he and I trying to get to Redcliff. His charism was infectious to say the least and it is or was incredibly hard not to be sucked into his sphere.

For a while, during our travels with the group I had a terrible crush on him. If it hadn't been for Alistair, I might have allowed myself to become his mistress. And up until he fell for our bard, he was incredibly willing. "So, what brings your Majesty to my… the Grey Wardens humble Arling."


	3. The Favor Asked

"Humble? This grand lady is anything but humble." Cailan replied good naturedly.

"Look around Sire; you've caught us with our pants down. It would be somewhat difficult to put on airs right now."

Cailan leaned a little closer and lowered his voice. "I do believe I caught you with your pants down, a few times. You still tend to remind me of my place. Although I keep telling you that my place is under you."

I shook my head but giggled like a maiden with her first suitor. "Cailan, you are still married to your Queen. And I am not mistress material."

"Grant me a boon. I haven't been in Anora's bed since I reclaimed the throne."

"Cailan Theirin are you asking me to lie with you because you can't stand the sight of your wife. You used to be more … um… suave than that," I responded good-naturedly. I admit I was tempted. I hadn't been with anyone since Alistair that time we snuck away in Denerim.

Cailan became serious took my hand and wrapped it around his mailed bicep, "If you are not mistress material, how say you to being wife material?"

"Maker forbid. A mage as Queen…" I stopped talking.

I hadn't realized that he was being serious. I took a deep breath. It wasn't an entirely horrible possibility. Cailan and I were good friends. He would try to keep me happy. But... "Your Majesty, Cailan, I am truly honored that you ask. It's not every day the King offers marriage, but your Majesty I am not what you in as a wife. You need an heir. As a Grey Warden, I can't conceive. As a Mage, the Chantry, the Bann's would all rebel. Ferelden cannot withstand another civil war."

"And because of him," Cailan said knowingly to gauge her reaction.

"He left. He abandoned us. He has nothing to do with it." I said denying the truth. There would be no way for me not to see Alistair every time I looked at Cailan. They were too close in both looks and behavior.

Cailan moved closer to the Merlon looking out through the teeth of the wall so to speak dropping my arm. "You were right. I shouldn't have commanded you to keep quiet. He felt he was facing betrayal on all sides. It's only natural to run."

I clenched my fist tight and bit my tongue long enough to override the desire to yell at my reigning monarch. Grey Warden or not he was still my king.

When the impulse was under control I said, "forgive me, but I was betrayed when Aedan sided with the Templars and killing all the Mages in the tower even though I could save them. When we could have saved both the Werewolves and the elves. But Alistair wouldn't let me leave. Why does he get a free pass because his brother didn't announce himself before the Landsmeet?"

"Prophet protect us. Rhiannon, it's different and you know it." Cailan took a large breath and held it for a moment blowing it all out at once. "Teagan found him."

I kicked a pebble with a booted foot. "Good for Teagan."

"I need you to go get him and bring him back to Denerim."

The sound that leaves my throat is a cross between a huff and snort. "You're punishing me for not sleeping with you."

"Never. You mean too much as a friend to force that kind of thing. But I need you to do this. Alistair needs to come home to Ferelden. He has become both a danger to himself and danger to Ferelden. I have given him leeway due to understanding but with his drunken brawls and blabbering that he is a Prince; there are those who are looking to cash in on that kind of stupidity."

I walked over to stand next to him. Alistair was a demon both of us battled for the last year. I thought Alistair was behind me. Now his brother, my King, was requesting that I go and rescue the former Warden. And this was one of those things I wished I could send Oghren to do.

Cailan wasn't aware of everything that transpired between the two of use due to his own infatuation with the redheaded bard. And now wasn't the time to tell him. It was the other reason I to say no to marriage. "You do know as a Grey Warden I am supposed to be neutral."

Cailan's smile didn't reach his eyes. He took my hand, kissed the back of it, and said, "I know. But you wouldn't be so heartless to turn down a personal favor for a friend. I can't fix our relationship with him hiding out drunk in some backwater tavern. Besides as Commander of the Grey he is your responsibility."

I touched his shoulder in comfort. He had shared with me the pain of finding out that he had a brother. The loneliness as a child where his brother would have been a lifeline.

Always feeling outnumbered against Mac Tirs and the anger when Alistair was sent to the Chantry and his father did nothing to stop it. His frustration with himself when he couldn't get him released. And the fear Alistair would die at Ostagar. "Alright but you and the King owe me for this. And I will collect."

This time the smile was genuine and when the King pulled me into a hug, I didn't resist. "I've already offered you the country and my bed, what more can I give you."

"I don't know but until I figure it out, Sire you are on the hook for anything I can think of."

"Let me stay for dinner and you can begin naming your terms," Cailan said taking my hand and placing it in his arm.

"As you wish your Majesty, but no funny business," I said walking the wall with him his guards just ten paces behind.


	4. Sleeping Awkwardly

I woke up before the sun rose and revelry sounded entangled with the king, or at least my arms around one of his legs. Foggily I wonder how and why we are in bed. My head ached from the wine.

I wasn't sure if we had sex because both of us were so drunk. Possible but not probable. Truth was I was I passed the point of remembering what happened after the third hour.

And lack of clothing told me nothing since our positions had me with my head at his feet on my on my back. He was on his stomach with his face buried in the pillows with an arm thrown over my legs.

Maybe I didn't want to know, and I was fine with that.

But by the looks of the barrel, we finished the thing, just the two of us. Only Oghren was that good at consuming alcohol. No wonder my head hurt, and the night was fuzzy. I stumbled over first to the fire pit and added fresh logs to the burned down ones.

We couldn't have been asleep long. The logs were still mostly solid and smoldering with red spots showing through the blackened outer skin.

I was trying to be careful, as I didn't want to wake my companion. Too many awkward questions and neither of us needed that complication. It would put a strain on our friendship, and he was one of the few I had left.

Gathering a little more balance as I woke up more, I found myself almost not stumbling to the washbasin hidden behind the alcove. I hated the fact it was so far from the fire and to have a bath I had to freeze.

I used magic, filled the tub with warm water. While waiting on the tub to fill I took the opportunity to relieve myself. Gingerly I stepped into the almost too hot water and quickly I washed, taking great care with my tender head. I was sure Master Wade was using my head as an anvil.

I stepped out of the water and wrapped the piece of felt I kept for drying around my body. There was still more than just a slight chill in the air. So, as I grabbed a second piece of felt and wrapped my long hair up in it tucking the end under the bulk of the felt. I walked to the hearth and stoked the coals.

One of the logs fell into the pile of burning wood sending a shower of sparks in several directions. I yelped as one of the sparks landed on the woolen wrapping, I had around my body and burst into flames.

I tore the makeshift towel off my body and beat it with the metal food plate. To be sure, I poured the last of the wine from Calian's unfinished goblet on to the burning mess.

I turned at the sound of laughter and found the king in bed with his head propped on his hand watching me nakedly fighting the fire. I stuck my nose in the air and tried to walk to the alcove with as much dignity as I could. His laughter followed me.

"Chivalry is dead I see. Instead of laughing at me…you could have gotten up to help me." I grouse.

"I could. But alas I am naked."

"As was I you arse," I said half laughing.

"I know but you made such a fetching sight in all of your womanly glory. I could do nothing but lie here and worship your natural beauty."

"Bollocks."

Calian chuckled amused. "We are naked. Do I assume I was more physical in my worshiping of your body last night?"

With my back to him I shimmed into the leather breaches of my armor frowning. After Ostagar I turned up my nose at robes and vowed never to wear on again. My undergarments were in the chest across the room. I attempted to cross the floor and retrieve them with the hop Calian hadn't seen me blush.

"If you don't remember, it never happened. You were probably a gentleman and offered to share the bed, so I didn't have to sleep on the floor. I took the foot and you took the head."

Teasing he said, "And if I remember? That throughout the night we changed positions with wild abandon, and we were too tired to move from where we fell."

I pulled the sleeveless undershirt on over my head to give myself a second to think. It was possible. I had been lonely and so had he. "Then I hope it is a good memory because it is all you are getting. I do not want to be known as your mistress. And if we have sex that is what I will be reduced to."

"You know I half love you." Cailan replied seriously. She had done so much more than just save his life on the battlefield that day. He had hoped when he came to the Vigil, they could fill each other's lonely places.

"No, you don't. That's gratitude for saving you from the Ogre. And protecting your secret during our travels. Now the Orlesian bard. You might be more than half in love with her."

"She is Ferelden not Orlesian. She was born here, from Ferelden parents and raised in Orlais." Calian said correcting me.

I looked at him pointedly and the man had the grace to look chagrined. There were times I had sought Alistair out just so he and Lilianna could have a moment to themselves.

The tabard was next belted it at the waist, with both my leather sword belt and Sash of Power. It felt different. I would have to ask Wade what he did this time. He was always tinkering with it to give me more protection. I attach various pouches that I kept potions and herbs in.

I kept a few vials of the potions as a precaution after Ostagar. But now I could heal and bring back from the brink of death with just magic. I could have saved so many at Ostagar if I had learned before leaving the tower.


	5. An Awkward Truth

I walked over to the bed with boots in hand and sat down next to him. "Cailan, I don't remember last night. There was too much wine and reminiscing. I would hope that we didn't have sex because I imagine lying with you would be memorable or at least something I would want to remember. And I don't want sex to come between us."

As I pull my boots up over my knees, he'd sat up in the bed hugged me from behind. "Sex wouldn't come between us. It would be a comfort. One that you and I desperately need. I wish you could understand that."

I turned, cupped his cheek and placed a chaste kiss on his forehead. "I appreciate it. But sex isn't a comfort for me. Both Lilianna and Morrigan were more comfortable with their bodies. I was a virgin when I." I trailed off.

"You and Alistair."

"Yes, me and Alistair. I am not ready for sex with others yet. Without sounding like a thousand other women in your past, it truly is me and not you."

He pulled me down on top of him kissing me deeply.

When we broke apart, I closed my eyes and leaned in for another kiss. He kissed back, this time I tried to forget the past and live in the moment. I opened my eyes and all I could see was Alistair. The Theirin eyes, golden with the ability to draw you in.

"Tell me you felt something."

I couldn't tell him I felt a terrible loss. That for a second I forgot I was kissing Calian and I imaged it was his little brother. "I did. But not where or what you wanted me too. It is just too early for me. And you. You are hiding behind this fake adoration for me. You were not kissing me. Go to Orlais and get her back. I'll go with you."

Calian pushed me aside and sat up. "It was you I was kissing. I don't think about her. Not anymore."

I kissed his cheek understanding the pain. I stood choosing not to pick at an open wound. "Alright. I am on my way to Kirkwall to get your brother. While there I am going to investigate the refuges. We could bring them home."

Cailan thought about it for a minute or two. The Banns and Teagan had been pushing him to do something. Farms were going fallow. Stock wasn't cared for. If things didn't get back to normal soon. Orlais wouldn't have to send troops to conquer them. Just food and people and the Banns would welcome them as rescuers.

Cailan hadn't said anything and she wondered if he was upset, she called him on the carpet for his lack of empathy for the people of Ferelden. "They have been refuges for a while. The living conditions couldn't be the best."

"That is an excellent idea. I want you to work with Alistair to make it happen. I can be one of his first official duties transitioning out of the Gray Wardens and into Ferelden nobility."

This is one of those time I want roll the king in a rug and beat him until he gets some sense. I tell him that Alistair is still and issue for me and he sends me to complete the task with the man. Fine it is going to cost him. "I am going to need gold and it can't come from the Vigil, seeing is how the gold here is donations from all over Thedas to make repairs."

"How much gold?"

I think for several moments. If I aim high, then I will have enough for bribes and other issues that might arise. "Seventy-five gold sovereigns."

"Are you trying to bleed the kingdom dry, wench? Twenty-five," Calian countered in good humor.

A very unlady-like snort burst out my lips as I tried to stifle the laughter. "A Warden can eat enough to spend twenty-five in a week. Fifty."

Calian rose from the bed and walked behind the alcove to take care of business. "Tell you what. I'll be generous give you a hundred gold sovereigns but that covers everything, including any and all of Alistair's debts."

"When we get the refuges handled, I might take him to Weisshaupt to dry him out if he has become the lush you think he has. Maybe they can do something that will give him piece of mind."

"Just have him back before the next Landsmeet. I intend on claiming him publicly as my brother and my heir. The healers have confirmed Anora is barren."

I took a deep breath. That was a huge deal. "And when is the Landsmeet?"

"Six months."

"Maker's Blood! You do expect miracles, don't you?"

"Only the ones you can deliver. I have faith in you after all you are the Hero of Ferelden. Remember Arlessa Rhiannon your presence is required in Denerim as well. So, you cannot just drop him off and run back to Amaranthine."

I walk over to the chest, pull out my brigandine, and buckle it over the cloth and metal tabard. My gauntlets are next. My sword Vigilance at my waist and stave "Spellfurry' in it buckles on my back. I'll wait on the hood until I am out of the gate and on my way to the city. "Did anyone ever tell his majesty how much damage he can do without a weapon?"

I didn't wait for an answer, but I heard the laughter as I left my apartments. I ignored the honor guard, as I didn't want to see the patronizing looks. They had heard me tell Cailan no sex and then the King spent the night in my rooms. It wouldn't be hard to imagine anyone thinking I caved.

As the Warden Commander, I had the old Arl's rooms. They were the largest and best in the entire keep. Something I didn't need but I liked that they were on the second floor and not the top. They tended to stay warmer.

I took the stairs two at a time leading to the third level of the Castle. I needed to talk to either Nathaniel or Oghren about my leaving for an extended period. I preferred it be Oghren since the dwarf was aware of the history surrounding Alistair and me.


	6. Awkward Assignments

They weren't going to be happy as we were supposed to start treks into the Deep Roads and scouting possible locations of Broodmothers. And I had already put them off twice having extra missions that required my attention. The last one in the Deep Roads. Again, my life was all about irony.

With their locations I could appeal to other Wardens to join us hunting and killing them. The longer we left the mothers the more Darkspawn were hatched and spread the taint.

Neither man was in their rooms. Oghren's was the one that surprised me. I had figured he'd want quarters outside the vigil in one of the huts near the tunnels. He could feel closer to home without having to go back to Orzammar. Maybe the four months on the surface with us gave him a greater appreciation of the fresh air.

I'd expected Nathaniel to ask for the old Arl's room or at least his old rooms. But he chose one of the smaller rooms the castle build for guest and such on the third floor. In the beginning I wondered if he was trying to be as far from me as possible and keep me in sight.

I headed back to the kitchens. The one constant about Grey Warden's was the amount of food they consumed. If they weren't in their rooms, they would be where the food was. I was in luck as both were breaking their fast.

"Commander." Both men had come to their feet in deference to my rank.

I looked around the room and noticed that we were not alone. The Seneschal, Capitan Maverlies, and two lieutenants and several guardsmen. "Sit, enjoy your meal. If you don't mind, I will join you."

"As you wish," Nathaniel said motioning to a place on the bench next to him.

He had been using a couple of phrases recently that made me wonder. I was 'does this please you and 'your wish is my command,' that were beginning to worry me. It started about two months after I gave him the family bow found in the crypts beneath the keep.

And of course, it would be right now that I noticed. When I didn't have time to figure it out. Or maybe because of the conversation with the king and having to deal with the left-over emotions from Alistair.

I stood at the kettle and dished a bowl of porridge and several rashers of bacon and some eggs. I wasn't traveling on an empty stomach.

I choose a place on the bench but not quite next to Nathaniel as he had gestured. "I ate two big bites of the gruel and three pieces of the bacon before speaking. The grease and the goat's milk was already coating my stomach helping with the ill effects of the barrel of wine. "I have to leave the Vigil again. I am being sent to Kirkwall."

"Thunderhumper. Commander you just returned. I thought we were going after those sodding broodmothers."

"I know but when the King makes a request."

Nathaniel looked down at his bowl of food. He'd voiced enough treasonous talk when he thought the Wardens guilty of killing his father. They overlooked it due to his ignorance. They wouldn't be as generous this time. "How long are you expected to be gone this time?"

"I don't know but I am hoping when I come back, I will have a few new Grey Wardens to add to our ranks. We need a few before we take on the brood mothers."

"Is that still the goal then?"

"Yes. If we can kill off the brood mothers, then there will be less of the darkspawn themselves. Or at least we can get rid of them before they repopulate. Which brings me to your assignments while I am gone."

"This should be good," Oghren said belching.

"Ancestors have mercy! Og! This is the table."

"Sorry Commander."

"Bhelen has agreed to allow the Casteless the opportunity to defend Orzammar. I want you to go down and begin to train them. I am going to offer them the same opportunity. I am going to see if we can make Kal'Hiroll opened and we are going to make it our deep roads Grey Warden base. Which means your job is about recruiting as much as it is about training."

"I am not arguing with you but if we start inviting the Casteless to fight then the other dwarves will refuse to serve alongside. "

I knew what he was talking about. I had tried to recruit templars to counter darkspawn magic but all they could see was a Mage who had escaped the tower. "I know it will be difficult Oghren, but I have faith you're the dwarf for the job.

Limit the alcohol, Og. That is an order. You are a warrior of renown under my command and what you do reflects on me. If you get into trouble Lord Dace owes me. I just saved his house embarrassment. Remind him that this is a personal assignment for me, and he should help.

We know how many dwarves common and noble alike volunteered for Caridin's golems. We also learned the Casteless took up arms at Kal'Hiroll so it will work. We just have to fight though centuries of stigma."

Nathanial who had been quiet up to this point asked, "And what would you wish of me Commander?"

"You told me you apprenticed in the Free Marshes, right? And you had the opportunity to go to the Grand Tourney?"

"Yes."

"Good. Then accompany me to Kirkwall. From there I need to travel to the other city-states and Navarra. Go to the tourneys. Evaluate the contestants.

Do not use conscriptions unless the person wants to join, and they are not free to do so. Check in with the Wardens in each of the City States and find out if there are those who would like to come to Ferelden. While you are at it inform them about the brood mothers. They need to be warned about Darkspawn taking female captives."


	7. Comfortably Awkward

"Forgive me Commander for interrupting you. It's dangerous for a Mage in Kirkwall. Even for one who has stopped the blight. What errand does the King need that will put you in jeopardy?" Garavel asked joining the group from the other soldiers in the room.

"Join us Seneschal. You were my next stop after breaking my fast. His majesty has requested that I examine the plight of the Ferelden citizens that fled to the Free Marshes during the blight. And start figuring out how to get them home. As they fled from the Darkspawn, he feels that it falls under the Grey Warden mandate."

"You should be accompanied as protection from the Templars. Are you planning to take a contingent of guard with you," Garevel asked?

I frowned, not knowing a good answer. "Actually, at this moment that was not the intention. I did not want to arrive in another kingdom with soldiers. The Viscount might take offense. If I run into issues, then I will request backup."

"As your Seneschal and advisor, I would like to point out that when you run into issues is a little late to get help. I would like to suggest that you take two out of uniform officers with you. With your skills two should be enough to protect and small enough not to cause notice."

"You know Commander that is not a bad idea." Oghren responded.

I agreed. When he took over for Varel after my last Seneschal died protecting me from Bann Esmeralda's conspiracy, I wasn't sure about the fit. He had proved his worth during the darkspawn invasion of the Keep and since.

I promoted him gladly to the position with sorrow only because of Varel's death. He would be excellent helping on the Ferelden sided at keeping things organized and running smoothly.

"Agreed, it was a good idea. But I don't know if we have anyone who could fit my needs at the Keep. I need someone who can keep an even head and follow orders without questions? Doesn't have a fear of mages and won't be swayed by the Templars? And can be ready to go within the next hour?"

I knew it was a tall order but like all things I asked of the man he did his best to accommodate. I watched him get up and leave the table in what I assumed was to find the men to send with me.

"I guess I better go get ready as well. Commander. I'll pack for an extended stay," Nathaniel said excusing himself and following the departing Garavel.

I noticed sharpness of the tone and wondered if I was going to have a problem on my hands when he got back.

When it was only Oghren and I, still at the table I asked about his daughter. "How is Felsi and the little one? Is she still at the Spoiled Princess? Did you go visit them while I was gone?"

"Ahh Commander, they're better off without me. I dropped the nugget again when I was visiting. Felsi said it was alright. And that Rea wasn't hurt, but I'll be a nuggs uncle before I figure out how to be a family man. I'm a warrior that's what I know how to do."

"You are Oghren the fearless…unless its schleets. If I doubted you at all I never would have let you join the Grey Wardens. You can do this. I have faith in you. Remember I have been proofreading all your letters. I know how much you want this."

"Caridin's teeth! Enough talking about me. Why are you really going to Kirkwall, Rhiannon?"

I grin Oghren was one of those true friends I didn't have many of. He'd kept my secret while we were at the table surrounded by outsiders.

I could count on him no matter what. Which was why I would never tell him about the conversation Felsi and I had. And where I explained how badly Branka's betrayal undermined his belief in himself. I warned her that he might never get over it, but he would always love her and the baby. He would just have trouble showing it. "I am going after Ferelden refuges and bringing them home. But Calian is worried about one in particular."

"That blighter Alistair."

"That's the one. I guess he is drinking more than you do. And he can't hold a dwarf's liquor. And then then there's Anders. I heard rumors he might be there too."

"Well shave my back and call me an elf. Never thought I'd see the day. Will the little pike twirler come to the Vigil?"

I shook my head sadly. "No idea Og. I don't even know if I can get him to come back to Ferelden with me. A lot happened and sometimes he is not the most forgiving."

"Asschabs." Oghren said walking away from the table.

The dwarf had a way with words, and I agreed but Calian had made it a personal request knowing that I wouldn't refuse him. I dished another bowl of food as I waited for Garevel to find my escorts and Nathaniel packed his bag.


	8. Sea Travels

_9:32 _**Dragon, **_18 _**Guardian** –Amaranthine Sea outside of Kirkwall

I stood on the deck of the ship. Hands on the railing trying to keep my balance. Teyrn even with four legs was finding it as difficult as I was. This was supposed to be an eight-hour trip, but right now I wondered if I hadn't been on the boat for weeks instead.

My head was somewhere else while my eyes were focused on the blue waves of the Amaranthine Ocean. It was my first time aboard a ship, and I had been more than a little excited. Nathaniel warned me that traveling by sea was exhilarating and nauseating at the same time.

That wore off after an hour into the trip when the sickness became more than I could bear. He was dead on about the nauseating. And the sea water I used to rise my mouth after each bout of sickness only gagged me more.

I faced demons and darkspawn blood and gore by the bucket full. And it was going to the rocking motion of the boat that caused me to disgrace myself.

One of the sailors took pity on me and told me about way some soldiers battled the sickness. He told me to encircle your wrist and press at a certain point.

I admit by the third time I vomited I would try anything. Unfortunately, it was just an old wives' tale and I was left to suffer for the rest of the voyage.

I wanted to say that I was on deck to enjoy the trip, but the truth was I didn't want my men to see me vomiting all over the hold. It would be a considered a weakness and as a nineteen-year-old woman in command I couldn't have any.

It would have been nice to blame my affliction on the ill-advised barrel of wine Calian and I shared but since it took us a week to travel to the city, the alcohol was long out of my system.

The week was one of the best I had had in a long time. I didn't even mind that my aravel wasn't ready for travel. I was given the chance to get to know the men traveling with me better. And Teyrn gained a new friend which was a plus.

Probably one of the best since Cailan and I joined Alistair and Aedan's group at the very beginning. Before Redcliff and the Tower. Back when it was us three Wardens against the world and not even an archdemon could stop us.

My mind wandered. Anything to take focus off my irritated stomach. I even started thinking about senecios of what I would say to both Anders and Alistair when I found them. I was confronting Alistair sternly when Nathaniel walked up behind startling me.

"Rhiannon."

"Nathaniel if you are going to take that tone. Then you need to start addressing me as Commander."

Nathaniel tightened his jaw and looked away.

"What? You've had an issue about something for the last week. Others are noticing the petulance as well. Are you going to tell me, or do you expect me to read your mind?"

Nathaniel leaned against the railing distributing he weight on his elbows showing no loss of composure. If the rolling waves made him uncomfortable, he didn't show it. "You're better than that."

I tilted my head and knew it was a mistake the moment it happened. I was down to dry heaves but that didn't mean my stomach wasn't intending an appearance anytime soon. "I was able to walk up and startle you. You are a better Warden than to let down your guard."

"Teyrn was on watch and he would have alerted me. But that is not what you were talking about is it? Speak your mind so we can get this foolish… whatever this is out of the way and focus on our missions."

Nathaniel frowned and looked out into the sea before speaking, "I know he is the King, but you…you are worth more than that. You deserve to be more than a married man's plaything."

"First of all, Nathaniel, I am no man's plaything. If I choose to lie with someone, it is because I want sex. I am a mage not a cleric. Secondly, what in Andraste's name are you talking about?"

Nathaniel squared his shoulders preparing for battle. When he met Rhiannon, he'd thought the worst of her. She was one of the Grey Wardens who killed his father. To add further insult she was a mage.

And he wanted revenge on both but was willing to settle for her death. But instead of killing him to ensure her safety she made him a Warden to 'make up for his father's crimes, she said.'

After talking to Delilah and finding the correspondence between his father and captain of the guard and murder of the Couslands, he realized he was wrong. And every time another dirty deed by Rendon Howe was unearthed, he was proven again and again how wrong he was.

Once he no longer blamed her, he started watching the way she gave to everyone asking for very little.

As they fought side-by-side every day, he watched her become less of epic legend and more of a person. It was around the fire when she and Anders were swapping stories. When they would speak about Tower and first, she was happy and then lapse into sad silence.

Or the time she was playing 'diamond back' with the dwarf. When the stakes were at their highest. His moustache and beard shaven or her walk around the keep naked. She plied the dwarf with two barrels of the good stuff and he still won.

Bright red and in a constant state of blushing she paid her debts. Her honor in the small things was what endeared her to him.

Somewhere along the line, he fell in love with her. Or at least he thought he was. He'd never been interested in chasing skirts before her. On top of that she was at least fifteen years his junior.

Not that she took notice or maybe she did not want to complicate the chain of command. "The King spends the night in your apartments and the next morning you're running off to Kirkwall oblivious to the danger of mages in the Free Marshes."

"For the love of Andraste! Do you have nothing better to do than watch who sleeps in my bed? Should I assign you more tasks? Or would you prefer I as your permission?"


	9. Confessions of a Fellow Traveler

"It was difficult to miss the guards posted outside your bedroom door. I had come to talk to you about Warden business and was turned away. They were still there the next morning when I went to break my fast." Nathanial replied angrily.

I sighed sometimes being a woman commander was a pain in the arse. There was double standard that even the great Hero of Ferelden was forced to live with.

"Oh Nate, it wasn't like that. He'd come to the Vigil to ask a favor. We wound up drinking a barrel of wine and remising about the travel during the blight. It was a pity party, nothing more. But I was not having the King of Ferelden carried out of my bedchambers passed out drunk.

And before you give me grief about him sleeping in my chambers, I shared a tent with the man off and on for over a year."

The relief was evident in his voice when he said, "is that all it was. You're not in love with King Calian?"

"Nathaniel, I appreciate that you feel the need to look out for me, but I am all right. There is nothing between his Majesty and me. We are … true friends. He is a married man and I am not a mistress. Only because you are trying to protect me will I tell you the women the king wants is in Orlais."

"Good! Rhiannon I love..."

I interrupted him. I didn't have time or energy to deal with this. I knew I couldn't or didn't want Alistair back. But I wasn't sure if I was ready to move on either. "Don't. I will not insult you and say you are the same but the last man who told me he loved me had a funny idea of what love is.

He told me he couldn't imagine his life without me then he abandoned me. I don't know how I feel about love right now, but I know I am not ready for someone to love me. So, if that is what you are going to tell me, don't."

Nathaniel turned away and stared at the statues on either side of the straight. They would be docking soon. She was going one way and he another. They wouldn't see each other for quite a while from the looks of things.

He didn't know what to feel. She didn't say she couldn't love him just that she wasn't ready for that. He'd kept silent this long, what was a little longer.

He darted an arm around her waist and pulled her against him allowing the surprise of the moment to carry the momentum. He threaded a hand through her long newly darkened hair, lowered his head and captured her lips.

The kiss was soft asking nothing with no more than quick brush of lips against lips. And then he pulled away and stepped back. "There I didn't say it. I intend to let actions speak louder than words."

He turned, scratched Teyrn on the head and sauntered off telling me that he would let the others know we were docking soon.

Like an idiot, I just stood there and let him go without telling him off or reminding him that I was in command.

I looked down at the Mabari and said, "That was so not what I meant. Why didn't you bite him? You were supposed to be on my side, traitor. Next thing I know you are going to be jumping up and down and wagging you butt when you see Alistair."

Teyrn just cocked his head and whined.

The water was less rough as we entered the straight and the longer, we sailed into it the less the boat rocked. Easing my upset stomach.

We had made it past the fourth statue with the others joined Teyrn and I on deck. I wondered what either Alistair or Anders thought as they sailed the narrow passage through those massive gargoyles. Assuming either sailed.


	10. Travel Companions

I found myself not able to meet Nathaniel's eyes. Fade take him. I did not need this at the beginning of an assignment. Choosing not to dwell on my frustration I turned to the men Garevel sent with me.

Of the two men and Corso the I spent the last week attempting to get to know. The one who was the least cooperative was the Ash Warrior and his Corso Enid. I had meet Darragh when I first entered the camp at Ostagar. I didn't impress him as a Grey Warden recruit, but he took the time to explain the Ash Warriors and their dogs.

There was nothing more important to a Ferelden than their dogs which made the Ash Warriors almost revered. Enid was a spectacular hound. All black and brown mottled and with fur that felt like crushed velvet. Smart as Teyrn and if I didn't know better, she had some Mabari in her as well.

After I had slain the archdemon and saved King Calian, he had pledged himself in my service. His skill with the double blades surpassed Zevern's.

His opinions about the Grey Wardens were simple. He likened them to family as we both gave up everything to join and it didn't matter whom you were before if you put duty first. The only truly personal piece of information I got from him was that he'd married a dwarf who had left Orzammar for him and they had a five-year-old daughter.

Enid and Teyrn had spent time cozying up to each other in a way that Rabbit and Teyrn never did. They even slept cuddled next to each other while we were together. In my nineteen-year-old mind, I thought the dogs were a perfect romance. If there was whelping, I wanted a puppy.

My bowman was tall and pale. If it wasn't for his height, I would swear he was elf-blooded. And maybe he was with the Dalish tattoos on the shaved sides of his head. He reminded me of Zevran with his quick wit and wicked sense of humor. Thankfully without the sexual innuendos constantly.

He and Nathaniel often competed against each other wining as often as they lost. Alton was as skilled and depending on the day better than Nathaniel with all stringed weapons. There wasn't a bow, be it cross, long, short that he didn't excel using. Both men were considered rouges by the general population, but one could never have too many pickpockets or lockpicks on the team. A hundred gold pieces was going to get me so far.

The two hounds, Alton and Darragh and I would be debarking at Kirkwall docks while Nathaniel would continue to Nevarra. As the boat docked at a private pier, I paid the captain an additional gold piece for his discretion and smuggling us into the city.

If he kept true to his word and didn't try to double cross me more business would come his way as I would be sending Ferelden citizens back home by way of Amaranthine.

If it worked out in Kirkwall, I would be taking this task to the other costal cities. I could take the matter before the Landsmeet and get assistance from the other Ferelden nobility. And the refuge crisis would be as distant of a memory as the civil war.

But I couldn't get cocky I didn't want it known that the Hero of Ferelden was in Kirkwall. The people needed to be sent home in an organized fashion. In both countries. There would be a mob and hundreds dead if they found who I was.

I knew it would happen eventually of course, but I would put it off as long as I able. Besides other than Alistair who would possibly know me.

This caution was one of the reasons I used oak bark and walnut oil to darken my platinum locks. The cloak I wore had the griffon emblem removed. Darragh and I had decided he would appear to be the leader for the mean time.

I glanced over my shoulder at the Grey Warden still on the boat and wondered what was in store for him. Nathaniel had been that quiet rock I leaned on without realizing it. Maybe that was why his confession bothered me. It would change things for us.

"Let's get a drink and see what kind of situation our wayward prince has gotten himself in. After that I think we should pay Anders a visit." I pulled the cowl of my cloak low over my face and motioned us to move. We stepped off the ship in single file with the hounds close at our feet and, up the stairs into the squalor of Kirkwall. Maker help us.


	11. A Mission Interupted

A **Huge thank you** to Judy for her reviews. They were originally for chapt. 2 & 3 which is 4-10 now. And **whopping** **thank you** orco-n7 for favoriting the story… I am so excited.

9:32 Dragon, 19 Guardian - Lowtown Kirkwall

Our ship's Capitan explained Lowtown and the docks to us. But explaining and understanding is not always the same thing. This maze that the people of Kirkwall called Lowtown made me wish for the back alleys of Denerim. They at least made sense.

The Tevinter people must have built it this part of the city this way so slaves couldn't escape. They'd get too confused and return to their masters.

Streets that lead to dead ends. Hexagonal courtyards led to streets that went nowhere. Stairs that lead to a second level only to have a second set of stairs just around the corner of the building leading back down to the original level. A person could get lost for hours.

Thankfully the no matter how confusing the path seem it couldn't fool the nose of one hound much less two. And we quickly left the docks and traveled to Lowtown proper.

The sheer number of people looking for donations or begging tore at my heart. And from the sounds of the accents most of them were from Ferelden.

Even if I gave away the hundred gold sovereigns at a cooper a person, I would be out of coin by midday meal tomorrow. The situation here was even more dire than anyone knew.

We'd been in the city for an hour and twice someone tried to pick my pockets. The first-time razor like canines of my Mabari detoured the would-be thief.

You would think with two hounds and all our weapons visible that no one would be that stupid. But I guess when you are desperate with great risk comes great reward. In this case his reward was not losing a hand. Teyrn was good about warning first before severing a body part. Unless of course you were Darkspwan.

The second time we'd entered what had to be the older part of the city, slums by the look of it. Not that the whole of Lowtown didn't scream slums.

The rascal couldn't be more than seven or eight and almost got away with a pouch of twenty silvers. The loss of such a small amount wouldn't have hurt us too badly but it would have made us a more tempting target to other thieves.

It seemed neither dog wanted to bite a child. Or maybe they recognized the desperation on such a young soul.

Alton's lighting fast reflexes stopped the little thief, roping the child with the end of the bow.

What I thought was a boy of ten or eleven was a girl maybe seven or eight.

She fought like a caged mabari to get away but Darragh grabbed her by the shoulder kept her from running. He didn't so much a grunt when she head-butted him in the groin and beat his thighs with her fist.

When he cuffed her, I placed a restraining hand on his bicep. I didn't want her hurt for defending herself. Nor was I going to allow her to maim one of my men. "Stop. Child we are not here to hurt you. But you tried to steal from us."

Darragh yanked her arms above her head with her two wrists in one palm and her feet barely touching the paved street.

"Lemme go," she wailed fighting to get free from the adult male holding her captive, ignoring my attempt to talk to her.

Realizing I wasn't going to make any headway like this I shrugged my agreement. I took my dagger out and cut the strap on the bag hanging across her body she had been stuffing her stolen wares in.

"Very well. I can turn you into the city guard or I can keep your pack as payment for trying to steal from us."

"No you son of an inbred Mabari. That's mine."

"What a mouth. She's Ferelden alright," Alton said grinning.

The child was Ferelden. Just another victim of the blight. Calian and Anora sat in their big castle for the last year and a half eating out of fancy dishes while children of their country starved.

The gaunt look and lose clothing hung on a too thin frame. I was determined that she would be the first one to receive help through Alistair's newly created charity. "Tis it not fair. You would have taken what was mine. Why should I not take what is yours?"

"You didn't need it. My sister hasn't eaten in two days." The young girl said sullenly.

"Where is your mother child?" Darragh asked his tone losing some of its gruffness and released her arms.

"Don't know. The only work she could get was on her back in the docks. But she didn't come home for the last two nights."

I exchanged looks with the two men traveling with me. Prostitutes working outside of brothel were offered little security. They were easy to get rid of if things got out of hand. And from the looks of things, no one would miss another Ferelden freeloader with a couple of mouths to feed.

"Where is home then child?"

The girl suddenly got quiet looking down to the left before answering. I knew she was going to lie to us. It was to be expected. So before she did I said. "I will return your possessions once we get to your home. I will even let you keep everything you stole before me. Not before. After you and your sister have eaten, I will give you an opportunity to earn coin. Alton, the man with the bow, will purchase food you can share."

"People in Kirkwall won't help a Ferelden unless there is something in it for them. Not even if they are from Ferelden. Ill not pleasure your men." She said defiantly.

I didn't know whether to laugh or be horrified that a child her age would feel it necessary to state that fact up front.

I looked at Darragh and his look was grim. I didn't know what his life was before becoming an Ash Warrior but he was familiar with that form of child abuse. Or was he thinking about his own daughter. "No child. We are new to Kirkwall and need a guide to the darker places in the city."

"Why?" She asked. I saw the debate going on behind her guarded green eyes.


	12. Country Men

Thank you Judy for continuing with the story and the Reviews

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"Where in Ferelden did you make your home before the blight?"

"Burnwick north of South Reach. My brother and my father tried to keep the darkspawn away from my sister and I but they died. We came to live with father's sister in Kirkwall but her husband doesn't want Ferelden freeloaders living in his house."

"Then you like every Ferelden know of the Ash Warriors. Darragh was a leader who fought on the battlefield with King Cailan."

She looked as if she didn't believe me. I watched her examine Darragh. From his dark cornrow braided ponytail all the way down to his leather boots. I finally saw a spark of hope, or what I thought might be hope.

"Are you truly Ash Warriors? Can we go home yet? Did King Cailan send you to take us back home now that the blight is over? Will the Hero come and save us?"

"Of a fashion, child. Do our hounds not tell…" The commotion on the street interrupted our conversation. Both Teyrn's and Enid's hackles were raised, and low growls alerted us to their desire to join the quarrel.

The group of four and a mabari looked outnumbered by the band of dwarves. The tattoos on their faces and style of armor gave away their identity as carta. I tried to think why the Carta would be operating above ground in Kirkwall. Was there a Thiag here?

The group was managing without help even as none was offered either by guard standing on the street or bystander. A slight shake of my head and Darragh relaxed slightly. As he relaxed so did Enid except for the occasional soft growl.

"No." I told my Mabari.

Teyrn cocked his head and whined.

"I understand. But we can't go joining every fight if we want to stay invisible. If they are overwhelmed then we can offer a tooth and claw."

But try as I might to keep us out of the fray fate had other ideas. The six dwarves rapidly became twelve and the fight spread across the street.

I heard the snick of a blot released from the bow just as an arrow embedded itself in right eye of a dwarf. Alton decided that they were overwhelmed and offered his bow as assistance. Tooth offered.

All Teyrn needed was a quick nod of the head and he bound into battle joining the assault barking in delight.

I had hung back noticing the red head in guard armor. I remembered her from Ostagar and couldn't take the chance she would remember me as well.

My mind on how quickly this mess was unraveling didn't noticed the calculating eyes of our little thief.

She took the opportunity to grab her bag and run. I could have used a spell and paralyzed her but chose not to use offensive magic against a kid.

That didn't stop the curse that tumbled out of my mouth when I realized I never took the money pouch away.

"You understand that was an invitation to follow her right?" Alton asked coming up to stand beside me.

"Of course it was. She had the money. If she didn't want us to follow, she wouldn't have grabbed the bag. Teyrn will be working for his dinner tonight tracking her. Now I just have to figure out why such an invite? "

He nodded his approval and sauntered off to retrieve the arrows from the dead bodies. I had only moments to decide if I wanted to take the chance of recognition as Darragh and the group was headed straight for me. If I ducked out now it would look suspicious, I would just have to hope.

I tried to hear the conversation between the tall dark-haired man in Ferelden field armor and Darragh but the excited growls, barks and yips coming from the three hounds drowned them out. I smiled wondering exactly what they were conversing about.

I clicked my tongue and Teyrn immediately snapped to attention. A motion with my finger and he was at my side waiting for orders.

"Hello. Thank you for your assistance. I am called Hawke, this is my sister Bethany, and our friends Aveline, Varric and the hound of course is Biscuit," the tall dark-haired man said motioning to the members of his group as he introduced them.

I maneuvered myself as surreptitiously as possible to avoid discovery behind Alton. Noticing I hadn't joined and that I was trying to be as inconspicuous as possible Darragh begins introductions.

"I am Darragh of the Ash Warriors, my hound Enid, Alton, and the Mabari is Teyrn."

Aveline was impressed and concerned. The Ash Warriors were famous and revered in Ferelden. They had aligned themselves with King Cailan at the Battle of Ostagar. For three to be in Kirkwall signaled something ominous. She would need to keep the Guard on ready.

Both the man and the woman had looked familiar and it dawned on Aveline where she had seen them. On the battlefield. Too many displaced Ferelden soldiers had come to Kirkwall.

Darragh still thought of himself as Ferelden. His introductions to everyone that. Only a Ferelden would introduce their hounds. "You were there at Ostagar. I thought I recognized you. So were Hawke and I."

"Forgive me Ser Darragh but you forgot to introduce your other companion. I have never met a female Ash Warrior," Bethany said peeking around Alton.

"She is unimportant. We are glad we were able to help. Now we have to be on our way."

"Wait. Is it true? The king was alive and was hiding with the Grey Wardens for the entire year. There were conflicting reports about his Majesty.

Was his death a ploy to flush out the disloyal ones to the Ferelden throne? It's said the Ash Warriors choose a cause and disregard personal glory or wealth. Did you join to keep his Majesty alive and travel with the Wardens? How did he survive? Who died in his place? Did he know going into the battle that Teyrn Loghain would betray everyone?" Aveline asked dismayed.

So those were the rumors circulating about his majesty's death and hiding. If it had only been that simple, I thought. The loss of life would be much smaller. Two. Loghain and Howe.


	13. Ostagar

Than you Judy for the Reviews

Authors Note: This chapter and the next few are set in the past. Just before the battle of Ostagar.

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**9:30 Dragon, 3 Wintermarch - Ostagar- Grey Warden's Bonfire**

Aedan and I were standing facing Duncan with Alistair between us, me on the right. We accompanied Duncan to the Regents strategy meeting right after I awoke.

We hadn't spoken since the death of Ser Jory, Daveth and joining. Aedan had been horrified at Duncan killing Ser Jory. I was stunned but not completely shocked.

In fact, through the entire ceremony all I could see was how much it mirrored the Harrowing. I now understood why Duncan apologized for another ordeal and Alistair couldn't look me in the eye when I asked about it.

I wonder if the Templars kill the Mages like that if they refuse. Knight Rutherford had said that if I became an abomination, he would do the Makers will. But were there those who were struck down for not being willing to chance it?

Was the Rite of Tranquility the mage version of Duncan plunging a sword into your heart? Were the Grey Wardens any different from the Templars?

"You heard the plan you and Alistair will go to the Tower of Ishal and ensure the beacon is lit."

"What!? I won't be in the battle?" Alistair demanded angrily.

"This is by the Kings personal request Alistair. If the beacon is not lit, Teyrn Loghain's men won't know when to charge," Duncan countered.

"So, he needs three Grey Wardens standing up there holding the torch, just in case, right?"

Aedan pounded his fist into his hand and said, "I agree with Alistair we should be in the battle." Rabbit barked his approval of desire.

I didn't say anything. I wasn't happy being excluded. But I wasn't broken up about not being in the thick of the storm either. They were warriors used to being in battle. Two weeks ago, I had only used offensive magic in controlled burst guarded by Templars.

The Wilds were more my speed. Small bands that I could plan tactics for not just throw fireball after fireball and hope something died.

Although I didn't understand the king's request for three Grey Wardens when a Mages fireball would work. Especially if the Grey Warden was a Mage. The Revered Mother could rot.

"That is not your choice. If King Cailan wishes, Grey Wardens to ensure the beacon is lit. Then Grey Wardens will be there. We must do whatever it takes to destroy the Darkspawn. Exciting or no."

Alistair shrugged his shoulders in surrender and said, 'I get it I get it. But just so you know, if the king ever asks me to put on a dress and dance the Remigold, I'm drawing the line. Darkspawn or no."

I start giggling, "I think I'd like to see that?"

He turned to me and flashed a smile that made my heart skip a beat. "For you maybe. But it has to be a pretty dress."

I want to ask if he imagines it to be an Orlesian ball gown or a simple day dress. I am sure he will have some funny quip, but I am not quite brave enough to ask. Aedan could laugh at me all day but I didn't want Alistair to think I was silly.

Duncan groaned causing both Aedan and I to burst out laughing. And Alistair to look pleased with himself. We turned to leave when our commander asking me to stay stopped us.

"Rhiannon a moment if you would."

Aedan, Alistair and I all exchanged glances. Aedan shrugged. He was used to Duncan pulling me aside. Our commander even had to teach me to pitch a tent, keep a fire going all the things Aedan already knew.

I wondered if I had not done something I was supposed to. After all my living skills left a lot to be desired having such a sheltered existence up to now.

I turned back the few steps we had taken and stared at the bonfire. There was an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. And it grew when Duncan dismissed my companions telling them I would find my way, but he needed to talk to me. I almost waved good-bye to them as I had a feeling, I would never see them again.

Rabbit nudged me until I scratched his head. A quick curl of my fingers in the hair between his ears was I was allowed before he followed his Master and Alistair.

When they were gone Duncan said, "Come we don't have very much time. And we have a lot to talk about. The Teyrn was correct. This battle is much too dangerous for King Cailan to be in the center. But he believes the myths around the Grey Wardens to the exclusion of good sense. Do you remember what I said about magic and Wardens?"


	14. A Change of Orders

Judy - thank you for your faithful reviews. I hope the excellent means you like it

CeeCeeCruz- Thank you sooo much for favoriting the story it meant the world.

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I agreed. In truth, Aedan and I spoke for a few minutes before we went our sperate ways to explore the camp. We agreed. For the King of Ferelden to be on the front lines with soldiers was both daring and foolish. He knew the way to his men's hearts. And it made both of us want to serve with him more.

And Duncan had said there was a place for magic in the battle. The darkspawn had their own magic users with no governing. He also said there were worse things than blood mages and abominations. I said "yes" and waited for him to continue.

"Grey Wardens do whatever it takes to end the blight. No matter the cost or the belief. If the King were to die on the battlefield fighting with the Grey Wardens…"

"There are those that could say the Grey Wardens killed him. But what does this have to do with me, Duncan. I can't compel the King not to fight, or to go home. I know I willingly helped Jowan to escape. And I told him that the Knight Commander and First Enchanter knew what he was planning. But I am not a blood Mage. I helped him because he was my friend. I couldn't betray him but I didn't know he was a blood mage."

Duncan frowned. He thought they had discussed this before and knew how he felt. "I know that. If I had suspected, when I conscripted you, you proved the accusation wrong on the journey. Had you been a blood mage the first time we encountered Darkspawn, you were frightened enough you would have used it. I would never suggest compulsion against a human. But there will be plenty of Hurlocks, Emissaries and Genlocks who can be compelled with the right amount of offensive magic."

"So you want me too…"

"I want you to focus on the king. Because of his father and him, Grey Wardens are allowed in Ferelden. If he dies, we face expulsion again. Don't worry about the Horde. Forget about the other soldiers. Ignore the other battles going on around you.

You and I are not joining the other Wardens on the field. You and I are going to protect the King. You with magic and I with blades."

"His Majesty isn't going to like that very much."

"No, he won't. But he will have to survive the battle to be annoyed with us. And then I will remind him who the Commander of the Grey is. His father would not approve how much of a glory hound he has become."

I rubbed my robed arms. What I wouldn't give for a fur mantle and cloak because suddenly I was colder than I had been in the wilds. And we had to keep moving to stay warm out there. Standing next to the huge bonfire told me it was an internal chill.

Aedan and Alistair were going to be upset with me and for two copper pieces, I would trade places with either one of them. If these two busy body, apprentices in the Tower could see me now. Me a mage protecting the most important man in all of Ferelden. "Do I have time to go get something?"

Duncan sighed. "I thought I told you to have everything done before coming to the joining."

"You did but you didn't tell me that I would be responsible for keeping the king alive. I need to make sure I have plenty of healing balms, injury kits. I had not planned for being responsible for someone else. Normally I would make them… but all the herbs…"

"I thought mages could heal without potions."

I laugh. That is a common myth. Well not completely a myth. There were spirt healers. But they were rare. And the Templars discouraged them because it put you in constant contact with Fade spirits. I thought about the departing book that my teacher gave me. "That is not a skill I currently have. But I have a tome that can teach me the basics. I started reading it on the way."

I could tell that I was babbling from the frown on his face. "I have several attack spells and a few defensive spells. I will try not to let you down. But maybe you have time to get Aedan and Alistair instead or at least a better mage."

"No. They have their own duty and so do you. We can do this. You have a few minutes to get into place before the call for battle. Hurry and get what you need."

I took off running. I wasn't getting very far, very fast as the tightness of the skirts of my robes constricted the moment of my legs. Another Templar trick to keep the mages from running away. I took out the obsidian dagger Duncan had given me when found I carried no blade. And slit both sides of my orange enchanters robe from ankle to mid-thigh.

The makeshift alterations could have been better, but I didn't have time to worry about the appearance. The sad part of the story was I gained a little more maneuverability but not much else. I would still have to pull it up which meat my staff would be an issue. If we survived this battle, before the next one I was going to something else to wear. Could mages wear armor because that was what I really wanted?


	15. The Skirmish Before the Battle

Judy - your faithfulness to the story is awesome. Thanks for the comments. Beth- Agreed Alistair would be good. Thanks for the comments. Michele about the sex 'plausible deniability & sometimes sea sickness is just that thanks for commenting.

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It was total chaos or that is how it felt to me. People rushing one way or the other. Everyone yelling to get over the top of someone else. And no one seemed to know where anyone was. The First Enchanter would call it a madhouse and I would agree.

When I finally found and waylaid the red-haired elf in the corner of the encampment, she told me the quartermaster had packed up and left. He wanted to be on the road before the battle started. And she was in fact sent to gather a few left-over items and to join him on the road.

I asked if she might have a few of the potions I was looking for and she haughtily shook her head no. Even after I offered to pay her coin. She didn't spare me a second though as she scurried away to do her master's bidding.

In my pack, I had six vials and the components to make maybe two more. And that might have been enough if this was a skirmish or injuries were minor. The irony of having the wilds with most of the plants needed right outside the gates was not lost on me.

I walked out of the alcove and right into the mailed chest of a Templar. I didn't recognize him. He wasn't one of the regular ones I saw at the Tower. I tried to make my apologies, but he wasn't having any of it. And it seemed the more I tried to explain the angrier he got.

He grabbed me by my arm and started dragging me toward the area where the Mages performed under constant guard.

"You have to let me go. Duncan is waiting for me. He only gave me leave to go to the quartermaster and return."

"And who is this Duncan, you tart? Another mage that snuck out of the Tower with you?"

"My Warden Commander. I am not a mage, I am a Grey….I mean I am a Grey Warden Mage. Please Ser you must let me go. Duncan expects me on the battlefield before the call to arms is sounded."

"You're not old enough to have taken your Harrowing much less become a Grey Warden. They don't have female Grey Wardens. If you are going to lie, then at least lie believable. You stowed away with the others of your Circle. And now you've made up this ridiculous story to stay out of trouble."

I plant my feet to try to stop momentum. He is not listening to me and my time is running out. He keeps dragging me along. I know better than to use magic against a Templar. It will get me thrown in Aeonar and I am no good to anybody in the mages prison.

"Take me to see Duncan. He will tell you that I am telling the truth. Or take me to the king, he welcomed me when we first…"

My words died in my throat as my head pitched violently back and forth. He had grabbed both of my biceps and was shaking me so hard my teeth chattered.

"Unhand that woman."

"Stay out of this. You may be of the Kings Guard, but you have no authority over the Templars. This woman" he said sneering the word. "Is an apostate who escaped the circle. You can not interfere with Chantry business."

I wind milled my arms trying to break his hold on me. "I am not an apostate. I am a Grey Warden. Duncan sent to get any healing potions the Quartermaster might still have. Then I was to meet my Commander with the King. But he won't…"

The Templar shook me again this time cuffing me once for good measure. "Shut up Mage. No one wants to hear your lies."

"I! AM! NOT! LYING! Duncan and the King will tell you. Please just go ask him. He is expecting me back. We are going to protect King Cailan on the battlefield. Duncan will come looking for me and that will leave the King exposed."

"See I told you she was lying. No one will allow the king to be protected by a Mage."

Aveline carefully studied the girl. She left a lot to be desired if she was the king's protection. She couldn't even escape one Templar how was she going to fight Darkspawn.

But then again, she wouldn't leave a girl not quite a woman in the hands of a man intent on subjection. "Do you know my husband Ser Wesley? He is one of the best Templars I know. He takes his responsibility to Mages seriously. He wouldn't treat a mage like this.

Out of respect for my husband I am going to give you the opportunity to let her go. I will take personal responsibility for her. If she is telling the truth and is a Grey Warden, we don't want to stop her."

Suddenly the call to arms blew and I knew I had lost. Duncan was depending on me. And I was here arguing with the Templar. I gathered the manna put my hand against his chest and pushed with the aid of magic. "If you don't believe me. That is your problem. I have a duty. And if you are going to send me to Aeonar then it will have to be after the battle."

The Templar went flying backward landing on his back in the dirt several feet away.

"If you could do that then why were you looking for help?" Aveline asked.

"We don't have time to talk about this he is going to attack. I can feel my mana draining. He is using mana cleanse. I only get one shot. My magic is useless. As a Mage I do not get to defend myself and Templars are always right or believed. And because I didn't kill him and now, he is going to kill me."

Aveline now understood the situation a little better. "Men protect her. Ser Templar she is under the Kings protection."

"Maker damn you and your King as a fool. I answer to the Grand Cleric and the Maker. That apostate mage is going back to the tower to be made tranquil or to Aeonar.


	16. The Fateful Battle

Thank you Judy & Kanta48 for your comments I live for them. Thanks Kanta48 for following the story.

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"Micah. What is taking you so long? Is the girl a mage or isn't she? The battle cry has been sounded." A second man in Templar armor appeared around the corner.

I recognized the voice before I saw the man and I was elated. Finally, a Templar I knew. The Knight Captain would vouch for me. He had known me the entire time I was apprenticed to the First Enchanter.

"Just in time, Hadley. The apostate claims she is a Grey Warden. As if we were to believe such rubbish. And these mage lovers are trying to help her escape." Tightening his grip around my upper arm.

Hadley quickly looked the woman over. Her slight build, her high cheekbones, bright eyes and platinum white hair. "Rhiannon! Andraste's Mercy child. Then it's true. You are a Grey Warden. Congratulations Rhiannon, the Knight Commander sent word. Micah let her go. She is a Grey Warden."

"Ser Hadley, thank you. Tell Knight Commander I am sorry for shoving his Templar and please stay safe." This time I was able to break free from Micah's hold.

I didn't listen and I didn't care if the woman who tried to help me was still there. I would thank her if I saw her again. But I was late and Duncan and the King were fighting without me.

I ran as hard as I could praying that by the time I made it to the battlefield I would be able to access my mana.

I ran… right into a Hurlock. I didn't have to worry about my mana because either my terror allowed the fire to flow from my fingers or I was out of the Templar's area of cleansing. The bald monster with a mouth full of teeth roared in pain as the fire consumed him.

There were three more of the short squatty ones running towards me. I sent a small bolt of electricity through the one farthest away as I watched the other two engaged by redheaded woman who tried to help earlier.

"Good to know that you can defend yourself. I am Aveline."

I shrug and grin. "Just as long as there is no Templar Darkspawn. Thank you for your assistance. It is a death sentence to for a mage to assault a Templar. I am Rhiannon."

"Nice to meet you Rhiannon. You better hurry if you are going to get to the King before he storms the battlefield."

"I'm going. Thanks again for your help."

I ran. Twice more Darkspawn waylaid me. By the time, I got to the field I could just make out the Kings golden armor. And was grateful for the pretentiousness of it. Maybe there was a point to having the most important man on the field wearing the beacon that said come get me. Neither friend nor foe would miss him.

I heard the Ogre before I saw him. Then I saw him. I tried to run even faster. But I was out of air. We were both moving toward the king. The massive Darkspawn would be on top of him before I arrived.

I was thirty feet away from him when horrified I watched the Ogre pick him up and roar in his face. For that moment I thought he was going to eat the king alive and I panicked, screamed the word 'no' and thought stop.

Several things happened at once. I heard the cracking of bones, everything within ten feet of me stopped moving as if they were frozen in place. I dropped to my hands and knees my mana reserves were depleted. And soldiers unaffected by the spell came rushing forward to help.

"We have to get him down from there. I don't know how long it will hold." I could tell we didn't have much time as felt the magic dissipating. Before I could get a back on my feet, we were attacked again.

I tried a fireball but the first one fizzled in my palms. I succeed with the second one. Much smaller than any I normally could make.

I lobed at the advancing Darkspawn. I could hear the Hurlock laughing at me as the fireball glanced harmlessly off him maybe singing his armor slightly.

Two of the guard was able to cut off the Ogre's hand at the wrist before the giant was able to move. Cailan dropped limply to the ground.

The Ogre broke out of the paralysis throwing back his head and roaring in rage and pain. In that, moment I watched Duncan as the Grey Warden practically jumped on to the beast's chest and walked up the front of the giant driving his daggers into its chest with each step. We should have done that instead of cutting off the hand.

He rode the Ogre down to the ground as it died. He wiped his face with the back of his arm and looked toward the tower. The flame was visible. The Teyrn would be joining us soon. He moved to stand up and almost collapsed under the open wound to the stomach.

I swallowed a blue vial of the lyrium potion and felt suddenly stronger. I wouldn't be able to paralyze anything any time soon, but I could make a decent fireball.

I saw Duncan holding his stomach and his arm bright red. I pushed my way over to him and shoved a vial of the purple liquid under his nose with the command to drink.


	17. Heroic Sacrafice

He would need more of the potion, but this would begin the healing and make sure the Commander didn't die. I pushed another vial in his hand and stumbled my way back to the unconscious king. I opened the third injury potion and poured the contents down Cailan's throat.

I had no idea how badly hurt he was I just knew that we couldn't stay here. Soldiers had made a perimeter around us, but they were falling. We just had to hold out for the Teyrn. He would see the beacon and come to our rescue.

The perimeter broke for a moment allow a solider wearing the Kings colors entry into our circle. He spoke quietly to Duncan. The Grey Warden looked up at the tower once more and frowned. He nodded his agreement. The solider walked over to us taking off his helmet and undoing his chest mail.

"Milady. Give me his armor. The Teyrn has routed the troops. He is pulling back all the forces and abandoning us. Get the King off the field and get him to safety. I will create a diversion."

"You can't. You'll die," I said in denial.

"It is my duty to die for my king. If he lives, then my sacrifice will not be in vain. Now please do it for me." He said continuing to remove pieces of his armor.

Duncan could see I was having accepting the death of one man over the other. "Rhiannon, he has made his decision. To talk him out of it would undermined his honor."

"By the Black city how is a man's honor more important than his life. Do you have a family? Something to live for?"

"Yes. But He is right. I must do this. I am comparable in looks and build to the king. I was for several occasions the Kings political body double. We need a diversion and I can do that. The more we argue about it. The less time we have to see that he survives. Now please help me." He was completely without armor at this moment imploring me to see what needed to be done.

Through my tears, I begin stripping the king of his armor. In truth, I have no idea how and my fingers fumble with the strapping. My slowness is frustrating others and they push me out of the way. I wring my hands not knowing what to do.

The solder finished putting Cailan's armor on and pulled his sword. "Most of them should follow me. I have confidence in you that the Grey Wardens can protect the king and punish that traitor who left us to die. Make sure they suffer my lady."

"What is your name? I will make sure it gets honored." I cry out.

"It's Morien, I hale from the storm coast. Honor all the men who stand with the King and I will die happy."

I watched him yell a battle cry and ten of our eighteen soldiers went with him drawing away many of the Darkspawn as his plan worked.

Overhead a red dragon roared it displeasure at the battle below as it flew in the direction of the Tower of Ishal. I looked at the lit beacon one last time and though of Alistair and Aedon for the first time. I wondered how they were dealing with the boredom and if they knew what the traitor did.

"Rhiannon come. We must get Cailan to safety before their sacrifice means nothing."

I glowered at Duncan. Angry at how easy it was for him to dismiss life before following him across a battlefield strewn with dead and dying alike. And I could do nothing for them.


	18. Retreat

As always Judy thank you for the review

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I check on the King, he is still unconscious. The internal damage from the Ogre must have left him almost dead, if he hadn't woke up yet. Or my skills as a healer were abysmal. Our retreat had pushed us back all the way to where the Kings tent originally stood. We lost more soldiers, but scattered ones had come to our aid finding out the king was still alive.

But at this rate, all we were doing was losing men and women. I am getting a better feel for attacking without a plan. The men have stopped again and put the king down. His motionless form stretched across the top of two steel kite shields.

I took the opportunity to check on him again. There was still breath in Cailan's body as the reflective metal placed under his nose fogged over. I pulled the last potion from my pouch and poured it down his throat. That would make two healing balms and two injury kits. And if that didn't wake him, breathing or not he might be dead.

"Duncan, we have to do something other than this. I've used all my supplies. We are running around in circles and loosing good men."

Duncan bent over with his hands on his knees breathing heavily. The battle had been a disaster. He was grateful for the moment that the Archdemon had not shown. He wondered if the beast was testing their defenses or reactions.

Then there was the treachery of the Teyrn. He'd dealt with the man's stupidity years ago when they'd come to get information from King Maric. But to hold on to the stupid notion that Grey Wardens were going to usher in another Orlesian take over was absurd.

She was right they couldn't continue this way and they couldn't give up. "I am open to suggestions Rhiannon."

"His Majesty is not waking up. I don't know if it's because he was hurt more than my healing can repair or … I. This is going to sound absurd, but I think we should take him to the witch of the wilds. The darkspawn are no long in the wilds. And the witch helped Aedan and I."

Duncan focusing on me or that there were too many darkspawn in the area, but he didn't sense them until it was too late. I screamed as the Hurlock swung his ax and my commanders head was no longer attached to his body.

Enraged I fling a fireball at him. He continues to advance screaming in pain as the fire burns at his flesh. Two arrow land in his chest. And I slam him with a round of lightening. The Hurlock falls to the ground in death throws.

There are ten of us right now not including the two carrying the unconscious king. And they were looking to me for direction. And right now, all I wanted to do was sit in the middle of the battlefield and cry. But I didn't have time for that.

I reverent picked up Duncan's head, swiped that stray piece of hair back and carried it over to where his body was. I gently place the head on the body, gather the mana and create a ball of fire. I know that we are wasting precious time staying in one place, but I am not leaving him to be eaten by some disgusting creature.

I throw the fire ball onto his body and say the words he said us recruits before the joining. "As you perished know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten. And one day we shall join you. Until that day Duncan stay safe at the Makers side."

"If you choose to follow me, we are going to make our way through the camp and travel into the Wilds. There is a Witch with powers greater than mine. I believe it is the kings only opportunity. If any of you don't want to follow me, you can take your chances out there. No one will think less of you."

I watched loyalty in action as it stiffened spines and squared shoulders that those outside of Ferelden called stubbornness. "Good then. I need a volunteer to see if the kennel master has any mabari left that were not on the field. If so, bring them. They can augment our force and give us more warning as well as stand guard."

I wasn't sure why no one spoke up. Did they believe that it was the easy job, or that alone they would be killed, or did they feel that they were abandoning us? "Demons and Abominations! Fine then I will assign someone."

I looked at our rag tag group and sent the youngest two I could. "Go now. Meet us at the gate to the wilds. It is west of here. We will try to keep out of sight but moving in that direction. Change position and someone else carry the king and give the men a rest."

Duncan's body was still burning when we left. Burdened with the overwhelming knowledge I might be the last of the Grey Wardens I thought Maker help Thedas because I didn't know to do this on my own.


	19. The Wilds

Kanta48 Thanks. Sorry about Duncan. Just for you uploaded after two days. Judy- you are so awesome and faithful. Beth- Glad you caught up. Sorry about Duncan. Flashbacks are how you see the blight and how they became what they are.

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We only lost three soldiers on our way to the gated entrance to the wilds. My eyes burned with unshed tears. As each protector fell, I said a word or two biding them save travels to the Makers side. The only thing I could do for them was to light a fire so they wouldn't become food.

The young ones I had sent in search of canine reinforcements caught up with us about an hour into the wilds. They were able to save two mabari and the left the gate open for one who was still too sick to run.

I briefly wondered about the hound I got the flower for. He wasn't one of the two that joined us. I hoped either his death was clean, or he survived and found his way off the battlefield before the attack.

The surrounding forest was completely dark making our travel more perils. We couldn't light a torch, as that would give our position away to the bands of Darkspwan still in the wilds. My wisp gave us some light but caused shadows startling all of us at least once.

Our hounds were a Maker's blessing as their noses and eyesight in the dark kept from falling to the more dangerous parts of the wilds.

I found a hollow space in a copse of trees and signaled for us to stop. We hadn't been attacked by darkspawn for the last hour and I didn't sense any nearby. I led the team away from roving bands of darkspawn. Most of the time it worked. In six hours, we only lost four more people.

The five of us trudged into the clearing and collapsed. We had been fighting, running or walking solidly for the past nine hours.

"Rest while you can. The Mabari on will be on watch. I am going to gather herbs. I have enough concentrator agent to make a few more health poultices. I know it's dark and cold but don't light the fire. We need rest not another battle."

I wanted desperately to rest also but two of the deaths could've been prevented if I had a potion to give them after the fight. But I could do nothing for the cracked skull and one minute she was walking with help and the next moment she collapsed and stopped breathing.

Our last bowman had a cut to the underneath of his arm. We were unable to stop the bleeding. His death was the most madding to me, as he had no other wounds. One small cut to the artery and he is dead. I should have done more.

I picked as much foxfite and Heatherum as I can find. I don't have the equipment to distil it here, but all potions need concentrator agent as a base. I gather the herbs for later use. For now, I would have to purchase the injury kits.

I should have known so much before I left the tower. I couldn't help but think that had I been a better student I could have saved more. Realizing I was spending more time assigning blame and not enough to creating the potions I pushed the guilt aside to deal with later.

I had been gone for an hour. Everything at camp was calm. I was beginning to count my blessings.

The fawn colored Mabari greeted me with a wagging tail as I entered camp. And it was a good thing the hounds were on duty as all my companions were asleep. Some sitting up leaning against each other and others were leaning against a tree. I didn't begrudge them the rest. They had fought harder than a legion of soldiers.

I walked over to the king and touched his forehead. He wasn't overly heated which mean he wasn't battling an infection. But that was as much as I knew about healing.

I could only hope that the damage was so great that his body was just taking this long to heal. I unplugged one of my recently made vials of healing balms and poured the pink liquid in his mouth.

I was rewarded with a cough and a sputtering as the king began choking on the liquid being poured down his throat.

With heavily hooded eyes that looked like he had to pry open, he tried to focus on me.

"Welcome back, your Majesty. I was beginning to think I would never see those golden eyes again."

"Where…"

Already kneeling I pulled the stopper out of the animal skin we kept water in and poured a little in the king's mouth. "Were safe for the moment. You're healing from the Ogre attack. Go back to sleep and let the potions work."

He nodded his agreement and closed his eyes. I'm not sure how much of a choice our monarch had in the arrangement as his body was in charge right now.

I was cold and I probably shouldn't be sleeping but I was dead tired. And I was no use if I was completely depleted of energy. I found a tree and settled against it. Smiling at something going right for the first time since my joining.

Several hours later, I woke. I didn't really know how long we had slept but the sun was fully risen in the sky. Next to me was the faun Mabari. From her throat came a steady low growl. On the other side of the camp next to the king, the brindled hound echoed the low warning.

I could feel the taint in my blood beginning throb. When we were in the middle of the battle, it was like standing next to a waterfall. As we got farther away from the fighting, it toned down to a fountain. When there was none in the vicinity, it was like a bubbling brook.

For my body to feel like this there had to be a band of at least ten or elven. And they had to be relatively close. I pat the head of the hound and whispered, "I know they're here. Let's get the others up. Maybe we can sneak around them."

As quietly as I could I began to move around camp shaking my companions and placing a finger over their lips to stress quietness. One by one, they shook the weariness away and prepared for another day of battle. I left his majesty to last. He would still need to be protected and maybe even supported but not carried. That would be the end of our blessings.


	20. Escape

Grim- Thanks for the comments. Unfortunately if Duncan lived no story. Sorry. Kanta48- Thanks for the encouragement. Yep for the rest. Stay safe also Judy- Here is a single red rose for the continued commenting

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I glanced at the man sitting and staring at the fire refusing to speak. Or maybe not finding anything adequate to say in the situation.

He had a haggard look about him. Especially noticeable as he was without armor and clothes sitting in a blanket draped around him like a dress with the end thrown over his shoulder.

His washed leathers were hanging out on a makeshift line to dry. The massive amount of blood that was on them had glued the garments to his body. Hiding the two wounds either he'd received before the Ogre attack or during our trek through the wilds.

It had been four days since the disaster of a battle with the Darkspawn. And two since that fateful morning in the trees.

Everyone but he and I died. All gave their lives just so Cailan Theirin could live and gotten to safety. Their bravery and sacrifice had striped the king of the notion of a glorious war. Now he was a defeated man staring at the fire wondering how things went wrong.

We had made it to the old grey warden ruins pursued by a group of ten darkspawn. Or rather hunted by them. I felt as if they were toying with us.

There were several times they could have overtaken us. Supporting the King and throwing fireballs didn't work. And there was no place to leave him so I could fight that he wouldn't be attacked. And he seamed to be getting weaker.

Often, they didn't retreat farther than the range of my fireballs.

Somewhere after second day of the cat and mouse game I started asking for miracles from the Maker or Andraste. I would have prayed to any gods at that moment. Or maybe I did. I don't remember.

And someone answered. I didn't care who. I just said a quick thank you to whoever helped. And accepted the new companion. A black and grey a mabari who killed three of the genlocks as he joined us.

Cailan leaned on him for a time while I put the fear of the Maker into the other Darkspawn.

That was the first time I had created an electrical storm. It hadn't killed all of them as much as I wished it had. But with the electric bolts, fire balls and ice blast I was able to rid us of a total of four.

We had to deal with three of them still harassing us all the way to the chasind hut. Or just outside of the magical wards.

The closer we got the farther back the darkspawn hung. These were two apostate mages I was grateful the Templars didn't get.

I felt the line of demarcation as we passed through the magic the Witch of the Wilds protected her home with.

I had called out to her. But no answer. I had guided the king over to one of the two cots laid out. He hadn't looked too good. I had no doubt he would have died if we'd continued much longer.

But the Maker or whoever had answered my last prayer must have still been looking out for us. Because as I had been searching for Flemeth or her daughter Morrigan I found two vials of purple liquid lying on the table. Almost as if they had been left for me.

I had given the king both in rapid succession and then pushed him down on the cot with the command to sleep.

Speaking quietly to the Mabari I told him he was a good dog. I had wanted to reward him with a crunch but didn't have any. I treated his wounds with water and a healing balm.

I had a few of my own wounds needing care. But I was in better shape than most of my companions as I was constantly chewing on elf root as others needed the refined potions to survive.

I had removed the two arrows. Tears streaming down my face as I pulled the barbed wood from my hip, and calf. It took a half a day to recuperate.

I had been right when I thought they were toying with us. The location of the wound told me that. I was grateful that they did but they should have just killed us and been done with it. Now behind the wards we were safe. Until Flemeth returned.

Which led me to this moment. His Majesty asked what happened for the third time. Each time he asked about something different.

His last question was about the Regent and why he didn't join the battle. He had gotten angry and told me I didn't know what I was talking about, when I said the man was a traitor. Loghain would never quit the field.

He made excuses for the Regent trying to convince himself that Teyrn Loghain didn't see the signal on the tower. He didn't speak again after I told him about Morien and his sacrifice or Duncan's death.

After getting the potions I was able to heal his Majesty without the Witch's help. Which led me to wonder exactly how long we should stay here. I didn't want to overstay hospitality especially with someone powerful enough to make wards to keep Darkspawn out. While the King slept, I left the hound with him and went hunting.

It was a disaster. Even with both Duncan's and Aedan's help it wasn't a skill I learned. I came back with two half burned rabbits which I only caught by throwing wild fireballs at. Which somehow, I was going to figure out how to make a stew with.


	21. Relative Safety

Judy -thank you again guest- thanks for the comment... I had to translate... Interesting More? which is how Google translated it - here is more

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The hound on the other hand decided that wasn't going to be his dinner. He whined and shook his head as if trying to get water out of his coat. Frustrated I told him if he could do better, I'd like to see it.

Twenty minutes later I am dressing or trying to dress the charred rabbit and the dog struts into camp dropping a mouthful of rabbits at my feet.

I huff in annoyance and turn quizzically at the sound coming from across the fire. His Majesty is laughing so hard he is gasping for air. Of course, the man would sleep through my heroic saving of his life and be awake for the mutilation of his dinner. And subsequent humiliation by a hound.

"Fade take both of you," I snapped angrily.

The mabari cringed, flattened his ears and whined.

"Oh I am sorry, boy. I wasn't truly angry at you. Just that you could hunt better than I could. Thank you for the gift. You are a mighty hunter and your kills are in splendid shape.

He leans forward barks happily and butts his head into my sore hip. I put a hand on his large head and scratch between his black ears. Which satisfies him. It's now I realize he is the hound I helped when I first arrived at Ostagar.

"Fade take you. Is that a mage thing? I've never been cursed at about the fade. We are led to believe it is too scary of a place to be mentioned outside of a circle." Cailan said his voice getting stronger the more he talked.

I picked up the three rabbits by the ears and tossed the largest one to the hound who'd laid at the king's feet.

"More or less. It's safe from the wrath of the Chantry." I grinned weakly.

"The Revered Mother at the tower used to get angry when the Templars would swear using Andraste's name or the Maker's. She felt it was a sin and disrespectful.

The Templars got away with it because the Knight Commander wasn't about to let a priest tell him how to discipline his men. The First Enchanter who tried to keep the peace allowed the priest to set punishments. As my teacher was the First Enchanter, I was made an example out of. My sentence was to recite the entire chant three times.

The Knight Commander felt sorry for me and the first Templar using Andraste's sword was stuck teaching me the lines of the chant. When I was done, I had more respect for Cullen Rutherford's patience and faith than the Priest."

"Here let me do that. We want rabbit to eat. And I saw how badly you mangled what was left of the last two." Cailan said standing and walking across our makeshift camp.

With a disgusted sound I shrug and pass him the obsidian dagger and the rabbits. I acted if I didn't appreciate the help but really this outdoor stuff was not one of my strengths. I longed for the tower walls and soft beds even with all the Templars.

I plunged my hands into the blow of water and sand I used to clean up after my first try. The water wasn't particularly bad even with the blood and guts from before. "Can you? Doesn't the king have servant who do that for him."

He grinned good naturedly slicing without hesitation into the rabbit. "Have you known a king who can't hunt? The first rule of hunting is skinning and dressing the kill. Or only hunt what you can eat. I don't remember which of them is first or second."

I find myself smiling as well as I look at him. His color is coming back. He will probably be completely healed once we get a good meal in him. But I can still see the shadow of haunt in his eyes and the sunken checks beneath the golden beard that has grown out from the stubble.

"No Ser. But since you're the first King I've ever met," I taunt.

Cailan shakes his head as he deftly debones the game the Mabari hunted. He wasn't sure what to do with the skin, fur and other bits that didn't go into the pot. Back at the castle the pieces were used to train the litters. "What is your mabari's name?

I yawn as I try to make myself a little more comfortable. The dog has come over and sat down beside me. All I need to do is lean and I have a head and back rest. "I don't know. His previous master was killed in a skirmish and he had become ill. While I was in the wilds, I was able to find a flower that helped him get better. I was supposed to talk to the kennel master about imprinting after the battle."

Sounds like he knew you were responsible for saving him and he chose you. So it's up to you to name him."

"I don't know. His last master…"

"Is dead and you can't call him dog or boy."

"Oh. You make a good point. It would be too much like calling you king. What did you name your first hound?"

"Snuffles."

I opened my eyes and measured him trying to figure out if he was teasing me or did, he really name the poor beast that. I guessed it couldn't be any worse than the tabby in the tower known as Mouser. "Okay but that fellow needs some more noble than snuffles. What about King or Prince?"

I laughed when I saw the expression on his face. "Wait. I know if he can't be a King, he can be a Teyrn. He is noble enough. He took care of us, found food, and came to our rescue."

'Agreed. So, what is he Teyrn of?"

I yawn again my eyes closing and I mumble "Of Ferelden… all of it."

Cailan looked at the hound propping the sleeping mage up and shook his head. "You do understand boy. A King of Ferelden is nothing more than a Teyrn that all the other Banns, Arls and Teyrns agree to serve right? Just so you know you can't have the throne."

Teyrn barked in agreement softly so as not to wake his new mistress.


	22. Aftermath

Guest- thank you for the review. I am glad you thought the chapter good.

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Cailan set about cleaning several root vegetables and adding them to the pot hanging at the end of the tripod. He wouldn't hold it against her that she thought him a spoiled noble with no skills.

Most people thought nobles did nothing for themselves. And maybe most didn't. But he grew up with Maric, the savior of Ferelden. His father spent two thirds of his life on the run without servants. His son wasn't given to being pampered.

She had saved his life at grate expense to her own. And she was the only grey warden left. If this were a true blight, they would be in real trouble. For what could one small girl do against an Archdemon?

He mourned Duncan and had great sorrow for all who sacrificed their lives for his but most of all he grieved for Alistair. The brother he'd always wanted but never had a chance to get to know.

He had demanded Duncan put him in the safest place, away from the battle. But it seemed the Tower of Ishal wasn't far enough away.

He looked over again at the sleeping girl. Her Mabari had laid down allowing her to recline even farther. And probably in his opinion more comfortably. In her sleep, she looked to be fifteen or sixteen. When they met, he had not thought to ask her age.

Everything was in the pot and cooking at a good boil. His stomach rumbled. He couldn't remember the last time he had eaten. But he wasn't willing to eat with an unwashed body. The stench of blood, death and shit clung to him.

He dropped the blanket he'd been wearing as a makeshift robe while his clothes dried on the cot. Carefully not to disturb the sleeping Warden he walked over to the lake and waded in. The water was cold enough to take his breath away for a moment.

His training as a solider from the time he was ten summers gave him plenty of courage. But the will to submerge his body in the water was almost more than he could force himself.

The stiff caked strands of hair that were flaking dried blood and gore whenever he touched his hair or shook his head pushed him to grit his teeth and dunk. Scrubbing his body and hair with water and sand, he washed as quickly as he could.

He broke the surface with a gasp and a shudder. He hoped he was clean because that was about as much as he could stand. He was grateful his companion was asleep because if he had an audience, he might have felt the need to show how much more he could take.

He grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around his body heading for the fire. It would take the soup to warm him but for now, the fire would chase some of the chill away. As he looked over his garments, he debated if they should have pulled them off when they took the armor.

There were holes and gashes in the linen. The blood had stained the fabric leaving a brown dingy looking undershirt. Holding on to the blanket with one hand he struggled to put on his braccae, hopping with first one leg and then the other.

Leaving the drawstring of the pants untied he realized he had no choice but to but to put the torn linen shirt back on. Without it, the leather armor would chafe. When he got back to the castle, he didn't know if he would burn it or keep it as monument.

He used the free moment to look over his new, used armor and was happy with the quality. It wasn't his but sacrifices meant his life or his armor. He could have a new suit fashioned.

Suddenly a woman's scream pierced the quiet.

Instinctively reaching for that sword on the belt that wasn't there Cailan looked around for the source of attack. Nothing.

He looked to her Mabari but the hound only raised his head and looked around ears twitching, no more than just alert. Cailan debated waking her up. The stew should be ready.

"Oh Maker! No!" I exclaim bolting upright. The terror of the nightmare makes my breath short ragged gasps as I look around wildly to be sure I was above ground and that hideous dragon wasn't in the clearing.

"Are you alright?" Cailan

"The Archdemon. I saw him. He looked at me and was trying to say something to me."

"Are you sure? This was your first time in combat and killing is stressful for battle-hardened soldiers. Could you just be having nightmares because of the trauma?"

I scowled at the king. Wondering why he believed as deeply about Grey Wardens and yet he doesn't believe me when I say I saw the archdemon. "Yes. Unless trauma makes you see a big, ugly purple dragon flying over a mass of darkspawn in tunnels you have never been."

"So that is why Duncan was so certain that this was a true blight. I wish I had took his warnings a little more seriously. The dragon didn't happen to tell you when he was coming to the surface or where."

"Your majesty! That's not something to joke about. I don't know he could have been. I couldn't understand him. It was a different language or something."

I stood trying to work some of the kinks and stiffness out of my body. Which is telling me how badly I have abused it over the last several days. The smell of the stew in the pot made my mouth water. It reminded me that though I ached I hadn't eaten in days.

I didn't know what to say. I know Duncan tried to get him to wait for Arl Eamon's men but it would help reminding him of that now. I wasn't even sure that with the Alr's men the outcome would have been different with the Teyrn's treachery. And I wanted to offer some comfort.

"Well now that you do know, you'll figure something out. My teacher used to tell Jowan that we just needed to find another use for the wasted lyrium."


	23. Oh, Dragon

Judy: as always thanks. Guest I am glad you liked it

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"Spilled milk analogy?"

I shrug. "More or less but not quite as callous, your Majesty. It's really just a reminder you can always improve on something wrong."

"Your dream. Do you think the Archdemon knows where to find you?" Cailan changing the subject.

"I don't know. Honestly, Sire all I know about being a Grey Warden is… Stop the blight. Kill the archedemon.

Alistair one of the Grey Wardens told me that much. He said Grey Wardens know when darkspawn are near. So maybe he would know if I was close. I am assuming if Duncan had lived, he would've explain. But all I have left of him is that dagger I let you borrow."

Cailan pulled the dagger from the belt behind his back. Flipped it blade over pommel and handed it back to me hilt first. "I had wondered where a Mage would get an obsidian blade with almost perfect balance. He must have felt you were a worthy enough warrior to give it to you."

I frowned I didn't want to disillusion the king. He had enough guilt from Ostagar hanging over his head to think that the revered Grey Wardens would accept a criminal like Daveth or me. "Actually, I think he only loaned … I came from the tower with only the clothes on my back. Which isn't a big deal since mages don't have many personal items and definitely no weapons. But thank you and I'm starving so can we eat."

Cailan could tell that there was a story there but chose not to push for the moment as he was starving too. At the table, two bowls looked frequently used. He grabbed them both and ladled the thick liquid. Handing me the bowl he said, "So it takes an archdemon to get a mage to swear like a proper Ferelden."

"What do you mean?" I asked concerned.

"You woke up crying out to the Maker," Cailan said taking a bite.

"Well I guess there is another reason for Knight Rutherford to be disappointed in me."

"Oh," Cailan said sitting down on the cot next to his savior. He had a feeling this was the story he'd sensed earlier. "What was the first reason?"

As we sat there eating the rabbit stew his Majesty made I found myself telling the story of how I became conscripted to the Grey Wardens despite my desire to keep it from Cailan. He turned out to be more persuasive than I realized.

I was surprised that he had nothing to say about Jowan or my helping of a blood mage. He didn't even seem shocked at the conscription instead of tranquility. Maybe because he didn't understand what it meant to be made tranquil?

I stood to get a second bowl of stew. Normally for me one serving would be enough. But I chalked it up to not eating in the last several days. I dropped the ladle completely in the pot started by the flapping of giant wings and Teyrns furiously barking.

Cailan and I exchanged glances. We were trying to figure out if the dragon who'd just landed was real or imagined. "Is that your archdemon?"

"How is that big, ugly, and purple?"

"So, not the archdemon?"

"No. He is actually beautiful, for a dragon.

"Did you hurt your head at Ostagar and need a few healing potions? A beautiful dragon!? Only a Mage would say that."

"Obviously not when they're swooping and spewing fire, but he's not."

"No swooping is bad."

I looked at him curiously. For a moment, it was de ja vu. Alistair's warning about Morrigan. "Agreed swooping is bad. But he's not swooping. He landed. Get behind me, your Majesty."

"Do you think he is the reason we haven't been bothered by darkspwan?"

"No those are her wards. But wards that powerful should also deter rouge dragons."

"Could it be her pet?"

"Possibly," I said shrugging. "I saw a red dragon as it flew across the battlefield just before Duncan died. It could be the same one. I've never heard of it, but I am just a Circle Mage.

Who would have thought a Chasined version of a mabari? I must admit; it would be spectacular and wonder how I could get one."

"What about Teyrn… wait a minute what sensible human wants …" Cailan was silenced by the roar of the mighty red dragon.

The blast wave from the giant maw knocked us backward into the lake. As his majesty had refused to get behind me when I told him to, I was submerged under the weight of his body. I pushed him off me and broke the surface just as a golden spirit form encircles a woman in red armor walking towards us.

"Is she a dragon or a person?" Cailan hissed.

Hearing him, she threw back her head and cackled, "I am both and neither. Bodies are so limiting, don't you think."

The voice was definitely the old woman I met earlier as Morrigan's mother. But this. I had a feeling this was the warrior all the legends were told about. I allowed Cailan to help me out of the water while I decided what to say.

My intuition said, keep it simple and polite. "You said you were nothing if not hospitable. I … we thank you for the use of the wards and the respite from the darkspawn."


	24. Flemeth

As always Judy thank you. My Spanish/Latin guest I am glad you liked and found funny. OpGrim Cailan was five. I'd have a dragon if I could... thank you for commenting.

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"A dragon could have roasted half the horde instead of letting decimate the army. But you choose to hide here in your hut. Where was the mighty dragon when Ferelden needed her," Cailan demanded angrily.

"He didn't mean anything by it. His anger is … misdirected. So many good men were lost…" I said trying to place my body in front of his.

"Do not apologize for me. I am the King of Ferelden and I demand..." Cailan said pushing me out of the way.

"Be quiet, please!"

"No, do let him go on. The smell of Darkspawn does nothing for the appetite, but I could be inclined to have a snack or two while I wait for them to leave."

I saw this spiraling completely out of control. Her grasp of magic outstripped mine by a hundred times. And things were declining rapidly. I did not save him and lose all those people so he could anger a dragon and be eaten.

"Cailan, shut up. She protected the Warden treaties. And as a dragon do you really want to piss her off while you are weaponless. Please forgive us. I am sure as powerful as your wards are, if you were able to help us you would have."

"And who is to say I am not helping?" Flemeth said tossing her head back and laughing.

"Then you knew we would be here and that is why you left the vials of injury potion. This what you meant when you said always be observant or oblivious?"

"It is a merry tune we all dance to is it not? And so many different songs. Which one shall we dance too?"

"I don't understand."

"A statement that possesses more wisdom than it implies..."

You said so much about me is uncertain, yet you believed. And this blights threat is greater than they realized. Was it because you knew what the Teyrn was going to do? Or Is there something special about this blight? I am the only Grey Warden left can you teach me to be a dragon so I can defeat the archdemon."

"I cannot teach one to be who they are. You either are or you are not. Just as you are not the last Grey Warden. There are two others."

Cailan and I exchanged glances and simultaneously asked, "Which two?"

"Your traveling companions from before. The one who was itching to be a frog in the pot," Flemeth said with no real animosity.

"It was you I saw flying to the tower of Ishal." I exclaimed.

"Where are they witch? What did you do with them?"

Cailan!" I admonished.

"My he does bark loudly. I healed them and sent them on their way. They were ready to be Grey Wardens again. They went to Lothering three days ago."

I looked at the king and noticed he was glowering. I didn't understand why she had just given us good news. I had been dreading leaving the shelter of the hut. I had no idea how to lead an army and defeat the blight by myself. Now I wasn't alone. "Can you help us get them? Or can Morrigan show us the way?"

"So, you are ready to jump and see if you can fly? Then it is fate and you are ready to accept your destiny. But sadly, I have come to the end of my charity."

Is there nothing I can offer as trade? I am a hard worker. I have a fair amount of skill in magic and I am willing to become your servant if need be."

"And you? What do you offer me, king of Ferelden?"

What do you ask? But be reasonable. My kingdom is not for sale."

"Why would I want your kingdom. It would not fit here in my wilds. No, I see your father in you. Both strong, proud men. You will fulfill your father's debt to me. One of the Theirin bloodline will travel to the Tellari swamps and do as Yavana requires. You will see it done."

"I do not believe you. My father would never…"

"Would never what? Find himself lost in the woods offering a token for help. Or taking help when it is offered. My dear boy, we believe what we want to believe. Its all we ever do. Now what will you risk having what you have always desired?"

"If it is truly possible then I would give even my kingdom."

"Don't be absurd. What do I need a kingdom for?"

I felt a little out of my element. I was freezing. The king no longer needed me as he and the witch set about haggling the price of help. I went over to stand by the cooking fire. While I was doing my best to keep the king from getting himself killed, I hadn't noticed how cold I was. But my dunk in the lake and sopping wet robe was reminding me.

I looked up as the king called me for the third time.

"Rhiannon, did you hear me? She is going to take us out of the wilds and take us to West Hills. From there we can get to my Uncle Eamon. He wasn't at Ostagar. And Flemeth which is her name said that is where your wardens were going."

I try to answer but my teeth are chattering and all I can do is shiver uncontrollably. My eyes are beginning to feel heavy and I want to go to sleep. I can see Cailan's mouth move but it feels like a dream and I close my eyes again.

Only to be jarred awake by someone slapping my face. I hear the witch tell Cailan to take her inside the hut. I feel myself scooped into his arms and it is as if I am floating. I close my eyes again. And I am not so cold.

And then as if I am in a dream I am standing before the witch and I feel her hands on my robes. And the sound of cloth is rendered as she tears the material off my body before pushing me into a basin of hot water.

In the back of my mind I heard the witch tell Cailan to go and get more firewood and stay within the wards. I closed my eyes again and let my head loll back on the stone. The need to sleep was dissipating.

"Dying of the freezing death would be a very unsatisfying end to your tale, warden. How could you explain this as fate?"

Gathering a little strength, I said, "You did say you weren't sure if this was fate or chance. If this had been my end, we could assume it was chance."

Flemeth threw back her head and gave a throaty chuckle. "I like you, child. But a warning. You will have a long and difficult path before you. The Archdemon is only your first hurtle if you survive. When the sky turns green and is torn open come find me. This will be my price for helping you."

"But isn't the king paying your price?" I ask weakly.

"Yes. For a period, you will walk with him. But in time you will walk a different path. You will pay a different price. There are things in Morrigan's chest. Take what you want; she will not be needing them. When you have washed and finished warming yourself. Join us outside. You will be on your way."

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Note end of Flashback next chapter we are back in Kirkwall. Sorry for the word count on this chapter.


	25. Ground Rules

_Thank you **Judy. **To my Spanish/Latin guest.. _I am glad that you find Cailan and Rhiannon funny. Me too. I love writing them. We going back to Kirkwall for a few but they will be back.

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**We are back in Kirkwall with Hawke and the gang right after the confrontation. (Chapter 14)**

_9:32 _**Dragon, **_19_ **Guardian**– Low Town, Kirkwall

"The answers to those questions and the story best told over several pints. And as it is going to take longer than we have the time to go into now." Alton said responding to the two nudges in the center of his back.

"We were in the middle of an investigation when our hounds noticed your … friends. Since no one on the street was coming to your assistance we decided to lend a hand." Darragh added.

"Thanks for your help on that. Why don't you come by the Hanged Man later tonight? Have those pints on me and relax? I am always in the market for a good story." Varric offered.

I thought for a moment the Hanged Man was where we were going before our thief sidetracked us. If Aveline wasn't going to be there we should have no problem. I tapped Alton three times to signal affirmative.

"I cannot say when our task will be completed but we would enjoy sharing a drink with fellow Fereldans. And maybe you can share a few stories of the refuges in exchange."

"Just make it within the next few days or it will have to be in say a month when we get back. Several of us are going on a deep road's expedition."

The dwarf had piqued my interest with the deep roads. But now wasn't the time to ask. After expressing, a need to leave and become interested in a trip underground would only invite questions.

I waited until they were far enough away and said, "Our thief left us an invitation. I think maybe we should take her up on it."

"How much did she steal?" Alton asked.

"Twenty silvers. Not much for us but as I look around here could be a ransom. And I can imagine plenty of people trying to take it away."

Darragh compressed his lips in disgust. "She is not eating enough. My five-year-old ls heavier than she was. I would hate to see what her sister is like."

"Your five-year-old is half dwarf which means her bottom is filled with rocks," I playfully mock my companion. "So let's get some food and go find our wayward Ferelden waif. She is as good of a beginning as any other refuge to get this charity off the ground."

"So you're going to pretend the food is for her. If we don't feed, you soon you're going to waste away to nothing. I think your stomach is louder than your dog." Alton said teasing me.

I blushed slightly. Nathaniel is always teasing me about my growling stomach. That is until his complains just as loudly. Then the two of us tease Oghren that we can't tell the difference between his stomach and his snores. I was starving. I hadn't eaten in over eight hours. "Really and here I thought my stomach was louder. Teyrn is gentleman."

Teyrn barked happily in approval and Darragh snorted.

Getting back to the topic I said, "Darragh why don't you take Alton and Enid, get some food for us, our thief and her sister. Teyrn can track her and Enid can find me."

I watched as my bowman passed a gold coin to the other man. Darragh made a show of biting the coin before flicking in the air and catching it. Alton gave us both a dirty look. My look must have told them I was confused because Alton started to explain.

"Darragh bet me that you would try to abandon us within five hours of landing. I said you would wait at least a day. We've been on land maybe three hours."

I grimaced and huffed a deep sigh, "I wasn't abandoning you. Teyrn is an awesome war dog but he is not a scenting hound. Her trail is getting colder and I wanted to get on it before we lost it completely. And I didn't want Darragh to have no protection. He starts buying stuff people are going to know he has coin. With you watching his back he is less of a target."

"And what about you oh fearless leader. Who is going to watch your back? The idea was to not draw attention to yourself. What do you think would happen if you take on a band of thugs by yourself and win? And your magic will draw templar attention." Darragh said trying the voice of reason.

Alton chimed in, "You know Commander we are not here because you can't do this alone. All of Ferelden knows you can. We are here to make you look invisible while you're doing it. Now you are Commander of the Grey and can order us, but when you get back to Ferelden you will have to put us on report for disobeying a direct order."

"Have I no authority then," I asked.

"Yes. If you truly ordered us to stand down, we would obey. Neither of us would dishonor you like that. We are appealing to your wisdom not to give that order," Darragh supplied.

"Garavel suggested this be a team effort as the task was as large as it is. You can give orders, but I didn't come to be a solider and fall in line. I came to protect Ferelden's hero even if it is from herself. Call me insane but it won't do much for my reputation if she dies or is taken by Templars on my watch."

I hated when people used reason on me. There wasn't a whole lot I could argue about unless I wanted to look like a fool. "Alright what do you suggest?"


	26. To Find a Thief

Judy as always THANK You... your reviews motivate.

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As I followed both men down the stairs to what the natives of Kirkwall called dark town, I found myself appreciating Darragh's and Alton's wisdom. The idea of allowing the hunter among us to actually do her job was paying off.

And I had a new favorite food, one that I would have to bring back to the Vigil when we returned. The small hand pies were perfect for consuming on the road. I had consumed four right after we got them causing Alton to laugh at men and purchase more.

Twice Teyrn broke away from us and traveled back to the north stars as if there was something I was supposed to see. I had to promise him that when we were done, we would go back and check it out before my hound would leave his spot at the top of the stairs.

To the east of us lay only waist high railing to stop you from falling into the sea. The wind coming in from the open face of the cliffs did little for warmth but at least it helped in a small way in to bring in fresh air to the putrid under city. I had to wonder how many Ferelden people were down here.

We had followed the railing and the dogs until we probably walked the entire span of the city. We were directly south of where Teryrn was trying to go earlier. Our hounds lead us past a surly woman who told us if we didn't like Darktown we could die and make room. But that was the most interaction we received as most of the people looked at us with dead eyes as we passed.

As we followed the dogs down another flight of stairs, we entered what could only be described as square alcove going nowhere. Again, this city with stairs that lead to dead ends severed only to confuse and frustrate. I noticed the change in the dogs immediately. We must have cornered our thief.

Darragh drew one of his blades and pulled back the curtain exposing the three occupants to the gusty sea wind and causing the fire to splutter.

"Well don't just stand there letting the warmth out," the elven year-old girl snapped irritated.

Alton and I exchanged glances and tried not to smile.

Darragh sheathed his blade and stepped into the makeshift home, commanding Enid to stay and guard. I motioned for Teyrn to stay with her and gave each dog one of my hand pies. With a snap and a gulp, they were gone and replaced by happy pants. Alton and I followed Darragh behind the cloth barrier.

I took only a moment to look around the makeshift hovel my gaze lingering on the woman against the wall. Her face was distorted by greenish purple bruises, split lip and an eye so swollen it was matted shut. I could also just make out the finger marks against the pale skin of her throat. There were probably more under the skimpy and torn garments she wore.

I could sympathize with the pain she must be in. I could remember a few times I looked like her. But I was in a war fighting with demons and Darkspwan, not trying to provide for my children. The defiant tilt of her chin when I looked too close told me her spirt hadn't been totally broken yet.

"I see your mother finally returned home, child." I said turning to the eleven-year-old girl.

She was definitely her mother's daughter, right down to the way she held her head and clinched her jaw.

Alton handed me the waxed parcel the street vendor had tied the extra pies in and murmured in my ear about sitting outside on the stairs with the hounds. I watched Darragh follow him out beyond the blanket barrier.

I could see the fear in the woman's eyes as I drew near her youngest daughter. She even tried to get up off the floor when I knelt down next to the unkempt blond. I noticed the battered stuffed animal and smiled. I pulled one of the meat pies out of the wrapping and said, "I'll trade you this for your mabari."

I saw the hope in her face as she looked at the food. And yet she tearfully hugged the dirty thing to her chest and as the tear rolled down her face, she shook her head no.

I handed her the pie and ruffled her hair, "Good for you little one. No matter what is offered you never betray a friend."

She took the food almost reverently and bit into it and in three quick bites, the food was gone. I handed her another. She hadn't finished chewing before she started stuffing the next one in her mouth. By the time, she was four bites into the second pie she had finally stopped long enough to chew.

"What is your friend's name?"

"Blackie." She replied looking at her mother.

I watched the woman now that she was finally on her feet and noticed other signs of abuse. Turning my attention back to the youngest daughter I said, "What an interesting name. I bet you named him all by yourself."

"No my papa helped me. He said when I got bigger, I could have a real one. But papa's dead. He died fighting the spwan."

"Have you ever seen a real one?" I asked and when she shook her head no I said, "Would you like too? My mabari is just on the other side of the blanket. Why don't you take another pie and go say hello to Teyrn and Enid? My men will make sure nothing will happen to you."

'No please, she is only six. Do not do this. Ill pleasure your men," the woman pleaded.

I put another pie in the little girl's hand and pushed her beyond the barrier grabbing the arm of her older sister. "And why do you think that would be my goal. Maybe I intend to kill you and your oldest for stealing from me and don't want her to see it."


	27. Plans & Concequences

Thanks Judy... as faithful as a Mabari.

* * *

The woman gasped. "Whitney, you didn't?"

"They weren't supposed to find me," she cried out irritated trying to pry my fingers off her bicep.

"Not true, child. If you hadn't wanted me to come after you. You would have never taken the bag after getting the silvers. Losing the money wasn't a big deal, especially since your daughter said she was taking it to feed her little sister. But I get here and find a mother who isn't lost and a sister that hasn't been fed."

"And you said you were an Ash Warrior and that King Cailan sent for us. You said the Hero was going to rescue us."

"Whitney, you know better. Don't lie like that," her mother said.

"Actually, I did introduce us as Ash Warriors. She just assumed the part about the king and the hero. Since you didn't' use the money to feed your family. Where is the coin?"

"Are you truly Ash Warriors? I didn't know they left Ferelden."

I released Whitney's arm and turned toward her mother. "Darragh, the man with the braids and blades is. They go where their cause takes them. In this case, he followed me. Now Whitney, where is the coin?"

She crossed her arms over her too thin body and stuck her chin and nose in the air. "And why should I tell you? You were supposed to find me before Brekker did. You weren't there. You deserve to lose it."

I listened to the giggling sound outside the curtain knowing the child was probably smiling for the first time since the blight started. I hated having to do this but the girl needed to be reined in. 'You know what child, we were wrong about you. Anyone can swear using the term mabari. But you're not worthy of being called a Ferelden. I hope the money you stole was worth it. Because, I am no longer interested in helping you."

"No wait," she cried. "Brekker wouldn't stop hitting Mamam until I said I would steal enough to make up for her not working. You were supposed to get there and stop him. He was going to beat Mamam again."

"Child had I known what the plan was I might have been there when you needed me. But you choose to try to trick me into helping you, instead of asking. Now you owe me the two hundred pieces of silver. And you are going to work it off."

"I'm no whore."

"Child do I look like a brothel owner to you. No you, your sister and mother are going to the Vigil in Amaranthine. You're going to serve under Ser Alec at a squire's wage."

"I will not."

"You will or your mother and sister will be stuck in Kirkwall getting the only work a woman in the slums can get. Is that the life you want to saddle them with, when you can do an honest day's work to pay what you owe?"

Her big toe slid out the hole in her boot as she kicked the stone floor and sullenly said, "No."

"Good then maybe I was being hasty when I said you weren't Ferelden. Now go tell Alton and Darragh to take you, the hounds and your little sister up to Low town and get some food and wood for the fire. I am going to take care of your mother." I tell Whitney handing her one of the pies aware that both Darragh and Alton heard the entire exchange.

She looked at her mother for permission. When the woman nodded her head, the girl squealed in delight.

I wait until I hear the group as they trod up the stairs and then turn to the woman and say, "despite what I said to her earlier that child is all Ferelden. I imagine you have your hands full."

"Please, can we forgo the niceties and you tell me what you plan to do with my children?"

"Exactly what I said. You and they are going back to Vigil's Keep in Ferelden. Your daughter has a debt she owes me and she is going to work it off. I will allow you and your other daughter to join her at the Vigil if you choose. There is something you can do to earn your keep that doesn't require you to sell yourself."

"I don't believe you. You are looking for slaves."

I shrug, unbuckle one of my pouches, and pull a vial of purple liquid. Handing it to her I say, "I don't know what to tell you. There is no slavery in Ferelden. And I am giving your daughter a steady wage. Which is more than she is getting running wild here in Kirkwall. Under Ser Alec she will have an opportunity to become a great knight."

"This is healing potion do you know how much money you can get for this? And you're just giving it to me, why?"

"Why not? Coin is not my goal and I can always make more. I can heal you without potions, but most people prefer them to the alternative."

"You…you…you're a mage." She squeaked out fearfully.

"I am. Are you too afraid of magic to accept my help?"

She squared her shoulders and her chin rose for just a moment before she flinched in pain. "I am not afraid. I have faced worse things here in Darktown than an apostate. There is another healer down here. He helps those that don't have anywhere else to go. And he is not evil."

I incline my head to acknowledge her backhanded compliment. "Good, I am glad to see your enlightened view of magic. Now if you would strip and I will heal your injuries while you tell me how you came to be living down here. Your daughter mentioned you have family here."


	28. Understanding

Judy= Thank you. My Spanish/Latin guest= Your right is a terrible city for refugees. Thanks for the encouragement.

* * *

"If you can call them that," she said derisively. "Abigail was my husband's younger sister. Jerome, my husband took her in for two years after their parents died. She married a butcher from Kirkwall while he was in Ferelden buying sheep for the slaughterhouse. When the blight began, we didn't expect it to hit South Reach as quickly as it did.

She said that Jerome could bring the children and stay with them until the blight was over. Jerome and my son could work with her husband in the shop. But once we got here, the city was closed to refuges and the only way you could get inside was with exorbitant bribes. Her husband wasn't willing to pay the bribes. So, I did what I had to do to get us in thinking that once in they wouldn't leave us out in the cold.

The bastard assumed that without a husband I would keep his bed warm too. When I wouldn't… well here I … we are."

When she turned to face me, her chest was a mass of color. Greenish, purples of old healing bruises, pinkish just healed abrasions and bright red splotches of recent injuries. Her back, arms and thighs fared no better.

At that moment, I wanted to take my staff and beat every man who used a prostitute into unconsciousness. "Forgive me for asking, but as I look at you, wouldn't it have been better to sell yourself to one man verses every man."

She stiffened and her chin jerked up defiantly as she made move to put her gown back on.

"Don't please. I am not judging. Just trying to understand. Your girls would be safe, with plenty of food, clean clothes and a warm bed. And the abuse you are taking, I am assuming your brother in law wouldn't leave you needing healers."

She sighed as my fingers caressed her back, pushing mana into her body causing the skin to close over open abrasions. I walked around to her front and tenderly ran my fingers over her face following the contours. By magic, her injuries went away one by one. Within minutes, physically she wasn't the same person I met when I first arrived.

"Tell me, if you could return to Ferelden this moment, would you?"

She pulled her tattered dress over her head and without pausing almost shouted yes.

I tried not to chuckle too loudly as I didn't want her to think I was making fun of her. "Good to know. What would you do? Go back to your sheep farm?"

"I don't know if I can go back there without Jerome. He and my son took care of the animals. I would weave the wool into skeins to sell. I don't think I could be successful on my own."

I shrugged and moved away from her. "There are always things that can be done to make that not an issue. My question is would you want to. If not, would you be interested in selling the land and stock back to the Bann so he can bring on someone who might want to."

She wrung her hands, "I don't know. Jerome and I spent the last fifteen years making that a home. All of my children were born there. My men died there."

"I understand. And you have a little bit to think about it. But if you are planning on returning to Ferelden then you are going to have to consider it."

"How am I supposed to get enough coin for passage back to Ferelden when I can't even get enough to feed my children and myself?" Her tone was snide and hopeless at the same time.

By this time, I was pacing. I had an idea, but I couldn't put it into place without talking to the king. And I hadn't found Alistair yet to go in that direction. But knowing them, I couldn't leave this family in Darktown. "Then work for me."

She snorted. "You're not the type that's interested in other women."

I give a wry smile, not more than a pull at the corner of my mouth. "I can't say I'm interested in men at the moment either. But the work I need is help with other Ferelden refugees. I need to know how many are here in Kirkwall. And how many are interested in going home."

"Every Ferelden here I imagine."

"Good. Then we just need to get a firm count of how many are here in Kirkwall and where they came from in Ferelden."

"You want me to do it? When? I owe Brekker one hundred silvers per night. As long as I am here, I will owe him. And he will force me to pay."

I was trying to remain patient. I had given her a lifeline expecting her to jump at the chance not to sell herself anymore. But she was being difficult.

I'll admit I was doing it partially for myself. I needed help and didn't know how much I could rely on Alistair. "Fine then our first task is to get you out of here. What did you say your brother in laws name was, and where do they live?"

She paled and stuttered her way through all the reasons this wasn't a good idea. "I told you why we couldn't go there. After suffering for the last two years here in Darktown there is no way I am going there with my tail between my legs and beg for a place to stay."

I grinned one thing I worked on during my travels was my coercion levels. "Oh, he will be begging you to come and stay with them. On our terms."

She laughed at me and said, "And who do you think you are to convince him to do that?"

I handed her one of the meat pies and said, "Someone the King of Ferelden sent to sort this mess out."


	29. Odd Man Out

Kanta48: I've known a few too. Now especially. Glad your enjoying it. Judy as always thank you.

* * *

I used the time the men and children were out to gather as much information from Iona as I could on the state of the refugees. She didn't know much as far as the government of Kirkwall was concerned other than seeming to ignore their plight. On the bright side, there were a few Lords and elite residents still attempting to help the homeless Ferelden people.

One in particular I wanted to check in with as soon as possible was Lirene a merchant in Lowtown who imported supplies and found jobs for the displaced. Between the two women, I had hoped I could get a team going to get the first of the refugee's home in a month.

I also got more information about the man 'Brekker' as I was intending on getting my silver back even if it caused an altercation. The surprise came when I found out the mage healer, she'd spoken about earlier was none other than my own wayward Anders. And that had been what Teyrn was trying to show me hours ago.

I was standing at the railing while Iona gathering the few things she would be taking from the hovel. I had intended to put her and the girls up for the night in one of the inns in Lowtown. I figured I would have them in her sister in laws house before morning, but I'd been in situations where it wasn't as simple as I thought.

I was standing at the railings trying to decide what to call myself. When deciding on hiding my identity I was so busy hiding the physical side I forgot that everyone would know me by name. Which was why, now that I thought about it Darragh didn't introduce me. I couldn't go by my name or warden, those would defeat the purpose. Commander wasn't a whole lot more covert. I could probably get away with Arlessa but that sounded a bit pretentious to me. The Countess in the Blackmarshes told me that.

I was still debating it when the group came back. Their mother wasn't the only one who had changed for the better. I don't know how Alton and Darragh did it, but the children were clean and had on new clothes. My thief, Whitney even had her hair combed and pulled back into two circular braided buns at the nape of her neck. As I wore mine.

"And here I thought I was the only mage in the group."

"Darragh has family in Kirkwall. They took the girls in and feed, bathed and clothed them while we did a job for the warrior caste. Made fifty silver in the process." Alton supplied.

"Jaleal's brother and cousins have signed on to provide protection for the merchant's guild. There is an expedition for the deep roads and they needed some scouting done. Amalie was with them and she took care of the girls. They sent a dress for the girls' mother, but she might want to bathe first." Darragh expanded.

"Amalie?" I asked. Was I possibly going to find out more about my secretive team mate.

"Family." Darragh supplied.

I groaned. He was being as helpful as ever. In a way, he reminded me of Sten and never volunteering information. Short, clipped and precise. And completely frustrating.

"His brother in law's wife," Alton supplied.

I noticed the look that passed between the two men and wondered about it. Was it just that my Ash Warrior was such a private person he didn't want to share any information about his family? If that was true, why did Alton know? Or was it simply me?

I tried not to take it personally when I said, "Forget I asked. Thank you for getting the girls cleaned up. I was having Iona gather what they wanted to take. For tonight, we are going to put them up in a room. Tomorrow after we've had a conversation with their family they can stay there until returning to Ferelden."

The two men exchanged looks but I refused to comment on it. Instead, I focused on the two girls and said, "Your mom and you are going to stay in one of the rooms in a tavern while I work on a more permanent solution. Whitney, you've done a good job so far but looking after your sister means staying in the room with her. Not running around Lowtown or Darktown."

'But..."

It took only a look from the hardened warrior to get the girl to stomp away and mutter the word 'fine' leaving me to wonder if it was the fatherly effect or some interchange between the two. I was happy with the results either way. "Darragh will see you that you get a room while Alton and I go talk to the butcher."

Darragh wasn't any happier than the girl was moments before being forced to watch over the family. But before he could protest, I said, "We need to know where they are when it is time to move them. And it isn't practical for the three of us to go together. When this is done meet us at the Hanged Man."

I bid the small family goodbye and turned toward the stairs, climbing rapidly with Teyrn on my heels and Alton following me. I had one place I needed to go before climbing the stairs to return to Lowtown. I needed to know if the Anders running the illegal clinic was truly my Anders.

We had traveled all the way to the clinic where Iona told me the healer would see people from. If the light was on the healer was in. It was there my bowman challenged me about my decision with Darragh.


	30. Dissent in the Ranks

"Remind me not to anger you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Darragh. And don't pretend like you don't know what I mean."

I did know. And maybe it was better this way. Every time I got close to team members, I wound up getting hurt or betrayed. I turned and faced him, having to look up since I was on a lower step. "I wasn't angry. I had a decision. It was him or you. And it seemed as if he'd built a rapport with the girl."

It sounded weak even to me and I continued. "I had reasons that had nothing to do with him not sharing personal information."

Alton just grunted letting me know he didn't believe me.

"Alton one of the benefits of being a commander in a military organization is that I don't have to share my reasons for what I do. Most of the time people don't understand in the beginning but later realize I did know what I was doing."

"You just reduced one of Ferelden's greatest warriors to a babysitter because he didn't want to tell you about his family.

I stepped up on the same stair so that we were closer to the same level and said, "No. I did not turn him into a babysitter. I sent a warrior with a woman who is more afraid of the man forcing her to work on the docks than caring for her own children. I sent a warrior to secure the room so other men would not assume and take advantage of three lone women. I sent a father who understands children on a level you and I do not. And finally, I sent a solider who would follow orders no matter the reason without needing an explanation."

"I don't follow orders?"

I roll my eyes and huff a deep sigh. That would be his takeaway from the whole discussion. There were times when he really reminded me of Zevran. "You do know I can make military decisions without emotions factoring in, right? I used to play chess all the time with a templar who taught me to strategize and think several moves ahead."

Alton just shrugged and said, "I am not the one you need to convince."

I close my eyes and count to ten and stomp down the stairs following the tall man. "Then if that is the case both of you can return home."

He gave me a small mocking bow and said, "I wasn't talking about us."

"Who me," I challenged.

"Tell me something, are you the Warden Commander or the King of Ferelden's lackey?"

I sucked in air through clenched teeth. I knew Cailan's visit and trip to my rooms was going to come back and bite me in the arse like a darkspawn that wouldn't die. "I am here on Warden business, Alton. Alistair is the Kings brother, but he is also a Grey Warden. He has created a danger for both the Wardens and Ferelden royalty. While here I was looking into the refugees. They were my idea not the kings. And you've seen them. Do you really think we should ignore them?"

"No but I think you can help them without becoming a hard-arse. And if you are not careful that is the only method you will be able to handle people. You sit on the edge and the moment someone disagrees with you… by magic you become this fire breathing dragon everyone must walk around avoiding. You said you played chess, then remember patience is part of the game. It may feel personal but most of the time it's not."

"Are we talking about how I handled Whitney now? Paying back the money was excuse. I gave her a job where she can provide for her sister without becoming a hardened criminal or prostitute. I placed her in a situation where she can't leave if she gets frustrated and angry. She's had to grow up too fast with no guidance doing whatever it takes no matter the consequences. She needs to understand trickery and deceit are not the only tools she can use. She is also going to need Ser Alec, who is a father of three girls, can do that for her. It will fill the void without trying to replace her father."

He didn't say anything else. He just turned on his heal and started walking towards the long ramp that lead to Lowtown. I was rooted in place. Had I become a harridan? Someone people only put up with because they had too. Or worse, because I killed the archdemon and they were afraid of me.

No I couldn't let him cause me to doubt myself. He didn't know what I had gone through up until this point. It was easy for him to say I was harsh. He only had to worry about himself. I can't imagine what the Seneschal was thinking when he sent them with me. Alton would be on the first boat back to Ferelden when the refugees started returning home. Setting my jaw, I followed him Teyrn whining in confusion over the sudden change in temperaments.


	31. The Hanged Man

Judy- thank you

* * *

"What reeks? I almost think I am back in the darkspawn caverns." I said wrinkling my nose in disgust as we enter the tavern.

"I think that's the smell of vomit and sour ale."

"Or bronto piss," Darragh said with a chuckle.

I attempt to breathe through my mouth which doesn't work as well as I wanted it too. "And they have the nerve to say Ferelden smells like wet dog. I'd take wet dog over bronto piss any day."

Both men chuckle in agreement as I look around the room. I am looking for him and they know it. The part they don't know is the why. Or maybe they're aware and willing to allow me to pretend that it is because I was sent to find him.

I had been trying to prepare myself all day for the moment I would see him and as I scanned the room there was no sign of his auburn hair or his rich baritone. I couldn't decide how I felt. But I saw someone that made my heart stop for a moment for a different reason.

"Ancestors! The gods are laughing at me. Everyone who knows me personally is in Kirkwall. And the one person I was supposed to find is nowhere in sight. How in Thedas am I supposed to keep my identity secret? First, it was Aveline, then Sandal and Boden, and now Isabella. Who's next Shale or Zevran?"

"Isabella? Who is she? Are we looking at a problem?" Darragh asked with a frown. He'd heard from Alton about our interaction with the dwarven pair in Hightown dealing with the butcher.

I wasn't worried about Sandal he had a one-word vocabulary. And Boden promised he wouldn't share our secret.

"I don't know if she will remember me or not. Sandal recognized Teyrn not me. And I was sure Aveline would remember me because we interacted. But she didn't. Isabella was a… well she other things on her mind. Zevran knew her intimately. And I was with the group when we met them."

"But no interacting?"

I shook my head no. I had no intention of telling them about her offering to lay with me after I made a comment about Aedan getting to know her better. Nor was I going to share how naïve I was when Alistair had to explain what she was suggesting. At that time, I thought it was about taking turns not all three of us together.

"You bloody Fereldans. Can you not read the sign? No dogs allowed," the bartender, said interrupting the conversation.

"Corrif good buddy. They're with me. We can overlook the rule this time can't we." The blond dwarf said tossing what looked like a gold sovereign to the bartender.

He caught the coin in a lower tone said something about dog shite and piss and making the place smell bad. But waved us back.

"Somehow I doubt that anything Teyrn and Enid do could make this place smell worse. I don't think I'll be getting a room here."

Alton and Darragh chuckled while my hound whined and cocked his head as if to say he had better manors than to go to the bathroom inside a building.

When Varric invited us to join him in the back, I hesitated. Alton returning the favor from earlier nudged me forward with a not too gentle poke in the back.

We followed the dwarf up the stairs passing the dark-haired ship's captain without the woman even noticing us. Maybe I was just being paranoid.

As I entered the room behind Darragh the first thing, I noticed was the huge stone table. I wondered how a dwarf, got a table that size into a room this size. Against the far wall was a display of blades including a wicked crooked blade from Tevinter. If I had time later, I wanted to examine it.

It looked as if we had interrupted a game of diamond back. Of the group in the room, there was two new people I didn't recognize. The brunette in white armor with blue eyes leaning over Bethany's chair. And the white-haired elf standing leaning with one arm braced against the fireplace.

Behind me I felt Alton shift into a more alert warrior in response to the newcomers. It was the same response from Darragh in front of me. I almost wondered if it would be better for all if we made our excuses and met at a different time.

The waitress bringing a tray of drinks pushed passed us to get into the room deliberately brushing her chest against Alton arm and shoulder.

Darragh and I exchanged knowing looks as my humble bowman was constantly harassed by females and found himself _having_ to oblige. I quickly looked at the floor to stop from cracking up when Alton's eyes widened, and his posture changed. My bowman would be sleeping elsewhere tonight.

"We were in the middle of a game of Diamond back. Would you care to join us for a hand?" Hawke said offering one of the large stone chairs.

Darragh looked at me pointedly as if telling me to behave. Which of course only made me want to play a hand. But I didn't need to give my poor warrior a heart attack. I quirked an eyebrow and almost lost it when he snorted.

"Actually, I think we'll just have a drink tonight."

Varric frowned. Many surfacers didn't care for the game but Ash Warriors with their strong ties to the dwarven traditions wouldn't turn down a hand. "Do you not play with strangers? Or do you not care for the game."

"He plays. As do, many of us having dwarven friends. His restraint comes from the fact he hopes I will not indulge. You see the last time I played and gambled; I literally lost the clothes off my back. He would prefer I not expose myself quite so soon after meeting you."

For several moments, there was complete silence except for the sound of the crackling fire as the occupants of the room looked at each other and tried to figure out what to say. Darragh looked as if he wanted to strangle me and Alton suddenly started guffawing.


	32. Suspicions

Judy Thank you for your comments Natalia Courtney- thanks for following the story. Hope you continue to enjoy.

* * *

Alton's laughter brought the rest of the group out of their stunned silence with Hawke and Varric joining in.

"I imagine there is a very interesting story behind that. I for one I would love to hear," Varric asked.

"There is. But we're not exploring tonight." Darragh growled.

The man in white armor examined me with what I assumed was disgust from the curl of his lip. I wasn't sure what offended him more, my telling of the story or my lack of shame.

I gave him a once over and dismissed him. I was more interested in the elf by the fireplace. My mana was reacting to the lyrium on him or in him. If it wasn't for the longsword strapped to his back, I would wonder if he were a mage. Not that the sword on my belt was part of my disguise.

I tried not to look at Darragh knowing he was still piqued with me as I passed him, entered the room, and picked up the drink off the table. One swallow and I almost spewed it in disgust. I forced myself to swallow, "Caridin's teeth! That's revolting."

Hawke picked up his cup swirled the liquid in the bottom and swallows. "I've had worse."

I wiped my mouth with the back of my gloved hand and ask. "And you admit that. I've had Dust Town ale that is better than that swill."

Varric saw his opportunity. "It is interesting that a human would know who Caridin is much less know how to swear using a paragon. Or have an opportunity to try Dust Town Ale"

I shake my head. "No not really. I tend to assimilate quickly especially if I am around a group of people. A friend of mine was grateful I was learning to swear like a proper Ferelden. Spend time with Templars and Chantry its Maker's blah, blah or Andraste's body part. Dwarves, its ancestor or paragon something. I've even been known to utter Vashedan or Brasca a time or two."

"Blasphemy. Why would you disgrace the Maker or the Holy Prophet like that?"

"Sebastian, half of Thedas says Makers Breath. You're going to wear yourself out if you get angry every time you hear it." Hawke said placating the warrior.

I stared at the floor and bit my tongue. It wasn't my intention to insult Varric's other guest. If he thought I was blaspheming now what would he do when I told him where he could put his maker or prophet. I lost my faith a long time ago.

Sebastian glared first at me and then at Hawke before bidding all of us a good night. Excusing himself, he left the room in a hurry.

I looked at my two companions knowing that I was responsible in a way. And I needed to fix it. "I apologize. I didn't mean to offend your friend. I need to find somewhere to stay tonight so maybe it would be better if we got that drink after you returned from your expedition."

"Oh, don't worry about Choir-boy. He was a cleric and sometimes gets his knickers in a twist. Hawke has to remind him at least once a day he is no longer in the Chantry. Now let me get you something you might enjoy drinking while you make yourselves comfortable."

While we were waiting for Varric to return Hawke picked up his cards, pulled two from the front, and tucked one behind. "So is it that you are a bad player or a bad gambler?"

I grinned and looked at Darragh who just closed his eyes and shook his head resigned. I found a seat across the table from the fireplace where I could watch the elf.

Teyrn laid at my feet.

The server from earlier brought in two more chairs. She made a display of placing them where Alton had ample view of her unlaced blouse. I wasn't sure who to feel sorrier for the waitress when tomorrow Alton was gone or Alton with a woman on the hunt.

"It's a long story but the short version is… neither. The dwarf was just better. And I got cocky thinking I plied him with enough of the _good_ alcohol."

Varric had returned with a tray of stone goblets, putting them down in front of us and said, "Do you always bet your clothes?"

"What would counter for a dwarf's beard and mustache?"

"High stakes then. I knew I was going to enjoy having you around. I'd wager if I wrote your stories, they would be best sellers." Varric responded grinning.

"I doubt the readers would be impressed. The lives of Ash Warriors are dull," Darragh said smoothly trying to move a more neutral topic.

Varric sat at the head of the table watching the newcomers. He'd done some checking and things didn't quite add up. The information on the docks was that the ship that brought them to Kirkwall had no cargo other than four passengers and two hounds. They arrived in secret and filed no shipping manifest.

None of the crew or the remaining passenger disembarked from the Ferelden ship before continuing to it's other destination. Their offloading was so quite there weren't even rumors.

Those things could be explained. But the air of authority that hung around the woman pretending to be nothing told him something huge was happening. "You came for a drink and a story. The ale it's from your country. Do you like it?"

I took a sip dreading what someone from Kirkwall would think a Ferelden would drink and was surprised. "Where did you get Wilder Wine?" I took another sip and exclaimed, "It has apple blossoms. Ferelden is no longer occupied by Orlais. Whoever sold this to your bartender lost money."

Bethany, Hawke, Alton and Darragh all looked at me in confusion. All of them took a drink trying to figure out why or how I knew the drink wasn't what it claimed to be. Only Varric and the elf appeared unsurprised.

"So you come from southern Ferelden and highborn enough to drink wine over ale."

I chuckled the dwarf was good and devious. "Actually, no on both counts. My home before the blight was in the North West and I never had anything this fine to drink until two years ago. I do however have a friend who is an exceptionally good vintner and loves to let me try his brews. When I like something, he goes through every detail with me. I am actually quite spoiled because of his knowledge of alcohol."

"How did you know it was Orlesian?" The elf spoke for the first time since I entered the room.

The voice was interesting. Not in the higher, pitch range like the Dalish or city elves. Deeper but no less lyrical. But not enough to hide either the sarcasm or the distrust. "Wilder wine is one of those things appropriated by Orlais during the occupation. But they weren't content with just stealing it. They had to change it to make it their own. I don't know why, the apple blossom does nothing to enhance it."

"Not to change the subject but Darragh said you would tell us about the King and traveling with the Grey Wardens. We were hoping you could tell us because every time we asked the Grey Warden here, he would get maudlin and start talking about someone named Morrigan and how it was her fault."


	33. A Hard Tale to Tell

My Spanish guest - Thank you for the comment. Yeah she is kind of like her cousin. Judy-thank you.

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I kept my eyes on my goblet for fear if I looked up, they would see every emotion I had. Teagan was right he not only left the Grey Wardens, but he left Ferelden too. I wondered if he had been here for the entire last year. My hand was white from gripping the stone cup as tightly as I was. Slowly so as not to tremble I set the cup down.

"Aedan Cousland is in Kirkwall? The King has been looking for him for about a year."

Alton's question for Bethany mirrored what Varric had tried on me. Fortunately, he was able to tell the truth with looking like he wasn't interested in the information. And I was grateful to my Seneschal for picking the right men to send with me. I gave myself grief for vacillating on Alton's worth.

"No, the other one. I think I heard the Templar call him Alistair when he came to get him and take him back to the Gallows."

Darragh cleared his throat and asked. "The hero was the mage not Alistair. Besides the Templars have no authority over Grey Wardens."

Hawke took another pull of the wine and didn't taste apple anything. But he like a good strong ale, just like his father Malcolm. He'd taken Carver to the tavern to get him drunk when reached manhood like his father did for him.

But his stupid, brave, stubborn brother didn't like ale. He probably would have liked this. Bethany seemed to be enjoying her cup. He was half listening. When they'd come to his aid this afternoon, he thought they would be swapping war stories and he'd find out what happened after Carver and he had to flee to get Mother and Bethany safe.

But they were busy talking about the wine and the drunk who wouldn't shut up about being a prince and Grey warden. "Did the king know the Teyrn was going to betray him? Did just decide he would seek glory with the Grey Wardens despite the sodding mess the kingdom was in? Did the Ash Warriors protect him while he made a fool out of every Ferelden who mourned for him?"

"No." Darragh said quietly. "My wounded contingent left the wilds thinking the King was dead. I lost many men that night. But had I known I would have traveled with him. He believed we Fereldans could win. He believed in the traitor to the point he allowed the man to strategize the battle plan. I'm not sure what convinced him to stay with the Wardens except for the protection of them."

"The bard's songs are slightly vague on how the King made it off the battlefield except that the Warden single handedly saved him from an Ogre and carried him out of the wilds." Varric prompted.

I snort and laugh sardonically. "She was just a simple Mage. Not the Maker, not the Creators or even a Paragon. There is no way she saved him by herself. She hadn't been out of the Tower two weeks before that battle."

"Are you saying the bard lied," Fenris challenged.

I looked away and swallowed hard. This was the part I hated most about being the Warden. The adulation and the ridicule. To be fair most of the time the contempt was from myself.

I caught Darragh's eye and saw the subtle movement of his head. I had woken both men up on occasion with nightmares and Nathaniel having to leave his bed roll and try to soothe me back to sleep.

Somehow the typical darkspawn dreams kept taking me back to Ostagar. "No. I just think that too much credit is given to one girl and the rest of the men and women who laid down their lives are forgotten."

"To anyone else who didn't fight at that would sound like jealously. But its guilt. You were at Ostagar, but you weren't with the Ash Warriors or at least not the same company that your friend Darragh was," Hawke said understanding.

"No, you're right. In fact, when I first arrived at Ostagar, Darragh was the leader of the Ash Warriors and I hadn't proven myself in battle yet. He was on his way out to scout and I reported to another for duty. I am … new to Darragh's command." I was excellent at lying without lying.

The man who took the Kings place was Ser Morien and he called the Storm Coast home. He came from the island of Finlay and had two little sisters and a brother. He was betrothed to marry his lover. She had their son seven months after Ostagar. He helped his father bring the fish in every night except for the nights he had a special duty. You see he was King Cailan body double. His majesty didn't want him on the field that day but where his King was if there was danger it was Morien's duty to be there too.

When the traitor pulled the troops and the soldiers were scrambling to get off the field, Morien put the king's armor on and waded out into the Darkspawn to provide a distraction to get the injured king to safety. It is said when his majesty found out what Morien did for him he didn't speak for hours and took his name to bring the man honor. No one remembers anything the king did as Morien. All they talk about is the Warden and how she saved Ferelden and the King."

"Morien was your commanding officer and you couldn't save him," Bethany asked.

Blinking back the water welling in the corners of my eyes I cleared my throat. "There were so many that day that I couldn't save.

But the answer to the question of why the king traveled with the Wardens. He wasn't safe in Denerim. The traitor was responsible for poisoning his uncle so there was no safety at Redcliff. The traitor had already killed him, and it wouldn't be hard to make a lone man claiming to be the dead king, disappear. With the Wardens he could exonerate them and have protection until he no longer needed it."

Notes:

We travel back to the blight for the next two chapters... after that we get to see Alistair.


	34. Preparing to Leave

My Spanish guest= I am glad you enjoyed it. \ Judy= Thanks. \ Natalia Courtney= I am glad you are enjoying it and that you have found the story. Alistair is coming in couple chapters- thanks for the comment.

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_9:30 _**Dragon,** _9_ **Wintermarch** Kokari Wilds

I was just finished pouring the last container of clean rinse water over my hair and body when the door opened, and the king sauntered into the hut. A long low whistle accompanied by thorough examination left me with a deep scarlet blush coloring my fair skin.

I threw the sponge full of water at the gawking man who laughed, caught it and offered to help wash my back. With my arms crossed as much as I could over my front, I turned my back to him, heard the sharp intake of breath, and knew he'd seen scars. Which had not been my intention.

The playful tone was gone when he said, "Flemeth is gone. She thanked me for the meal, told me she would be back in four hours and then she would take us out of the wilds. I came in hoping to dry off and get warm myself. Your hound is lying by the cooking fire chewing on a large bone Flemeth gave him. Darkspawn, I think."

I made a sound of approval and stepped out of the washtub. I glanced over my shoulder and breathed a sigh of relief. He'd turned his back to me.

"Did you get those in battle?"

"No."

He looked over his shoulder and noticed the crisscrossed pattern of old scars. There was more than ten but less than thirty. The looked perfectly placed with even space between each one. He knew they were old but he had asked in a way that she would share. He figured he would be more direct this time. "Self-flogging? Or did you have help."

Bent over the chest holding what I assumed to be Morrigan's belongings I let the question hang. Hoping there was something, less reveling than what she wore when we met. I pulled out a bit of leather. There didn't seem to be a lot of material. But there was fur. Maybe I wouldn't freeze.

Cailan prepared for Rhiannon's startled jump as he placed the blanket around her shoulders, stepped back. He'd looked for something to dry off and not finding anything, he pulled the blanket from the bed. When there was no other, reaction from her he cleared his throat to remind her that he'd asked a question.

"Neither your Majesty. More of a reminder." I hadn't wanted to tell him about the conscription but a kind word, a listening ear, and the whole story came tumbling out. I hoped to do better this time. Most normal people didn't want to know how the circle worked just that it did. The king of Ferelden would be no different. He would tell me he wanted to know. And then when I told him it would be strained silences and pretending that nothing was said.

"Can you be any more cryptic? Is it a national secret or a restricted to mages only?"

I shrug and begin to rub the water off my body with the course woolen material. I pick up the leather, hold it up against me, and sigh. My robes while difficult to move in, sopping wet and torn in half at least offered me some modesty. I would be fortunate if this garment covered more than it left bare. Sighing as I slipped the leather and fur over my head, I answered. "It's a reminder that a Templar is never wrong and no matter what you do as a mage you never fight back."

"What in Andraste's flaming knickers are you talking about? Never fight back. What happened?"

"The former Knight Captain reprimanded me. Two thirds of the lashes were for punishable acts the other third was for crying out, going to my teacher, and refusing to yield."

"But," He stared looking right through her in his confusion.

I sigh. In his horror he will forget that it was a mage needing control. "Your majesty. People don't care how the Circles work. Just that they keep the dangerous, mind controlling, blood mages away from the good people of Thedas. The Chantry says the Circle is there to protect Mages from those without magic. And sometimes you get Templars who believe that. Most often you get Templars who believe it is their job to punish mages for being born with magic."

"They're allowed to beat you like that?" Cailan asked disturbed.

"Yes. Do you know that I was supposed to be there when the Ogre picked you up? And if I had you would never have been hurt as badly as you were."

"You can't blame yourself…"

"I'm not. It wasn't my fault. A Templar found a mage loose and assumed I was apostate. Even when I begged him to check with Duncan he refused because Mages can't be trusted. And had the battle not happened I would be on my way to Aeonar. When one of your soldiers suggested I might be telling the truth he accused her of being a mage lover. And if you were to speak in defense, they would claim I put you in a blood mage thrall. Kill you and me."

Cailan grew thoughtful. He had his own reason to hate the Chantry, namely Alistair. But here was another reason. "Tell me that the man who did that to your back has been reprimanded and removed from the circle.

I frowned and shimmied the leather down over my torso. This had turned into me complaining about my life and the king of Ferelden had other issues he needed to worry about than a mage that had come to accept that life was horrible and you just made due. "Yes, he was removed. Two years ago, Knight Rutherford found him raping another apprentice. He and the man who would become the Knight Captain forced the Knight Commander not to ignore what was going on under his command. I don't know what happened to him and honestly, your majesty I don't want to talk about it."

"Rutherford, the same one who helped you learn the full chant." Cailan said moving to another topic.

My blush had nothing to do with amount of skin that showed between my breasts all the way to my navel. Or the robes were cut all the way to the hip, leaving only the private areas covered. The small kiss Cullen and I shared the morning after my harrowing before he ran away out of horror still made me smile. "Yes."

"And"

"And your majesty we need to figure out what we are going to do with you? You are very recognizable."

"I am. I look like my father King Maric. But you are right if we are to survive, we have to do something about that. Do you have any spells that could change the way I look?"

"No. Magic doesn't work that way."

"Um I beg to differ. Wasn't Flemeth a dragon when she arrived?"

I chewed my lip in concentration I didn't have an answer for him. From everything I was taught you had one form except in the fade. But then it was just changing to animals like the mouse did. But you had to be taught by a demon. "I think that was shape shifting and unless you want to roam Ferelden as an animal, we might need to try something more mundane."

Cailan became thoughtful and said, "Would I get to choose the animal?"

"Um I think the better question is what would Flemeth charge you to change you into and back out of the animal. Because I don't know that kind of magic?"


	35. Coming Clean

Orco-n17- I hope I translated your comment right. I am glad you like it. Yes I am hoping you see them as brother and sister. / Spanish guest- thank you/ Judy-thank you. / Natalia Courtney -thank you. you are right about the chantry. For everyone who comments THANK YOU. I know its not easy.

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"Is it blood?"

"No. Before you pushed me into the lake, I didn't see her cut herself. And that is how Jowan did it."

"Good to know. What do you suggest?"

I found a travel pack, hairbrush, several tomes, and a pair of boots with long legs. I wondered if they went with this excuse for a piece of clothing. Several times I had noticed the king's eyes on my barely covered breast. "Cut and dye your hair and eyebrows. Keep beard and mustache but dye them too. Most likely black your majesty."

"Black hair… who would have thought. Okay Rhiannon, do your worst."

"Me," I squeaked out. I'd never cut hair. Sure, I had played around with coloring it several times. But I didn't want to be the one to make my king look like a fool. "Your majesty, umm I have never cut hair before. Not even my own."

Cailan chuckled and found a chair. "Well I did say I was looking for an adventure. Although in the interests of changing my appearance does the beard have to be as thick and bushy as my uncle Eamon's?"

Taking a deep breath, I walked over to where my discarded torn robes were and pick up my packs and dagger. With a sigh I walked back over to Cailan and said, "I've never seen your uncle, but the First Enchanter has a beard that looks like rabbit fell asleep on his face. I don't think that far is necessary. Now remember your majesty, I saved your life."

Cailan snickered and held Rhiannon's hips for balance as she straddled his leg. "It's just hair Rhiannon. It will grow back. But if you keep calling me your majesty, it won't matter what I look like. The secret will be out."

I offered him a small smile at his reassurance and gave him back his words. "What do you suggest?"

"Morien." He said quickly and without hesitation. "It is the best way to honor him for his sacrifice."

The smile slipped. Morien had been kind to me when he didn't need to be. "That is a start your majesty... Morien. We need to get him justice too."

Neither of us said much as I pulled the brush through his hair and began cutting it with the dagger. Fortunately, the blade was sharp, and the hair offered little resistance. Soon the hair was no longer than an inch all the way around his head. I stepped back to examine my work and gasped. "Alistair."

"Alistair?" Cailan hedged.

"You look like him. You could be twins if your hair was a little redder."

"You know the lad that well?"

Heat flushed my face. I had spent an hour when we first met staring into his eyes asking him stupid questions that I already knew the answers. Just to keep him talking. Then there were the stolen glances while we gathered the darkspawn blood. He reminded me a little of Cullen, but slightly manlier, funnier, and more beautiful if you could say that about a man.

Cailan watched her blush knowingly. His little brother had an admirer. She was going to find out eventually. He would need her to help keep his secret. "Remember when I said I look like my father. So does my little brother. He just takes after our grandmother's hair."

My mouth hung open and my knees gave out. If Cailan hadn't been prepared and pulled me into his lap I might have sunk all the way to the floor. "He is a prince?"

"No, he is a Grey Warden. He knows who his father is but he doesn't know that I know. I intend to keep it that way."

"But..."

"NO Rhiannon. I mean it. I need him to get to know me as a person. Before, I let him know. If I must I will make it a command."

"Yes your majesty." I acquiesced. I noticed right away that he didn't remind me not to use his title.

Cailan sighed in frustration. He'd didn't intend to make it a royal command. But after Flemeth told him. Alistair survived he had another opportunity. He wasn't going to squander it. But he didn't want to hurt the woman who saved his life either. "Rhiannon, I don't want it to be like that. I… when we meet up with them, I want a chance to become friends without the whole politics getting in the way.

"As you wish. But I think it will be a mistake." I said standing again.

"Maybe. But we will deal with that when the time comes. Now how am I to go from blond to black?"

I shrug. I can tell that the conversation about Alistair is over. "That part is easy. I use walnut oil and oak bark. But we don't have the walnut oil. So, you might just have to settle for brunette like Aedan."

Over the next hour Cailan made small talk as I painted the mixture on his head. We talked about the danger should anyone find out he was still alive. I learned plenty about the life of the king and his greatest love…. Hounds. He spoke very little about either his wife or his father in law. And I wasn't about to press him.

While the paste like mixture was saturated his facial and head hair, I took a moment and finished dressing. Pulling the boots on. I was elated that they came up high on my thighs. Then I moved on to my own hair. I pulled the brush through the waist length tangled mess.

On impulse I pulled the dagger once more pulled the hair in a low gathering at the back of my neck and sliced the white strands so that my hair touched my shoulder blades. I didn't know how often I was going to have a chance to wash it. If I was more daring, I would have cut it even shorter.

Flemeth arrived two hours later looking the frail old woman as she had when we first encountered her. I wondered if the age thing had to do with magic usage. I didn't have the courage to ask that either.

When she asked if we were ready to go Cailan said, "A Warden, a Teyrn and a King. What an interesting travel party."

With a cheeky grin I said, "A warden, teyrn and a king sounds like the beginning of a terrible joke your majesty… I mean Morien."

We watched the witch take the form of the dragon once more. Cailan grabbed Teyrn promising not to drop him and waited for the claw to grab them. My heart was racing I was about to begin the quest to stop the blight for real. I could only hope I was able to honor all of those who lost their life so I could live.

NOTE: we are returning to Kirkwall next chapter


	36. The Drunkard

_My Spanish speaking guest- Thank you._

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_9:32 _ **Dragon, **_19_ **Guardian** – The Hanged Man, Lowtown

I took a ragged breath. I think the hardest part of telling the story about Morien was that I never got him the justice he deserved. Aedan killed Howe, but that was revenge for murdering his family.

I'd beaten Loghain almost to death causing as much damage as I could but when his unconscious body fell to the floor the words of Riordan stopped me from taking that final blow. If Aedan and I died there had to be a Grey Warden still alive or Ferelden was doomed. That blighted dragon took too much from us I wasn't going to let him have my homeland.

"The Wardens had to know they were traveling with the King. He couldn't keep it a secret that long… could he? Bethany asked.

"There was a maid in the palace who told me about terrible fights between the Wardens, the King and the bard about lying to them. She was so busy going on and on about the fights it was difficult to get her focused." Alton answered nonchalantly.

My four male counter parts chuckled knowingly as if they'd been in the situation themselves.

I looked at my cup realizing that I needed something stronger than the wine. I stood excusing myself and asked where to go to relieve myself.

I only half listened as they continued to question the men as I left the room. If the group became more than acquaintances and I offended them, I would apologize later.

I crossed the hall and sat on the second step down where I could lookout into the main bar. From my bag, I pulled the wineskin I carried. Oghren had taken to packing one for me. In the beginning, he was spreading his alcohol around, so he didn't carry it all. Later it was his way of thanking me for proofing his letters to Felsi.

I pulled the stopper from the skin with my teeth and poured a mouthful of the amber liquid. It was strong, smooth and burned like molten rock all the way to my stomach. I would need a couple more mouthfuls before going back in there.

My faithful hound followed me and was sitting on the landing. Teyrn nuzzled the back of my head snorting into my coiled braids as his way of trying to comfort me. And I smiled as he sneezed twice in succession. I waited for the typical third one instead I heard a whine.

I looked and his body was still and poised to attack. The coiled energy created a vibration in the dog that mimicked shivering. He smelled the air and whined. I reached out to pet him but that only caused him to move away and start to whine more.

He whined. He looked at me. He looked down into the main room of the tavern and back at me. And wagged his short stumpy tail. I tried to pet him again, but he wasn't having it. He scooted away, barked twice, and whined.

I stood, he barked again and started bouncing down the stairs, front feet first, then back, then front. But I … I was stuck. I had prepared for this all day and I couldn't bring myself to move. I heard his voice before I saw him. His words were slurry and singsong, but it was his voice.

"Oh look Mabari. In a bar." Alistair said collapsing on the bench. He couldn't help but laugh as Teyrn licked him and nuzzled and pushed at him until he unsteadily fell off the bench to the floor.

He used to look just like you. He was my ..our dog. Well we shared him. I mean… he..hic… stayed with her so…not my dog. I miss that dog. We had a dog….Cullen. But he wouldn't be in a bar, would he?"

Cullen bent over and grabbed Alistair's spaulders to haul the man to his feet. He pushed the dog away with the command to be gone. Instead of obeying, the Templar Teyrn sat on his haunches and watched the Knight Captain wrestle the drunk on to the bench. "Yes Alistair, you told me about the dog. But it's not your dog. There are plenty of strays in Kirkwall because of the refuges. Why a dog would be in the tavern I don't know."

Alistair started laughing falling backward. "Because it's the best place to hear the tavern song about Andraste's Mabari, get cheese and good ale. Leliana used to sing the tavern songs to Teyrn all the time. I'm going to get the Mabari an ale… so he can tell Teyrn I miss him. Barkeep an ale for the Mabari."

Alistair forced himself to sit up and placed a mailed hand on the dogs head, leaned in and said, "But tell him not to tell her. Promise me he won't tell her."

Cullen placed his thumb and finger against his head as if trying to stop a headache. A deep sigh and he called out for food. "Alistair, dogs don't talk like that to each other. Let's get some food into you. Meredith already wants you gone from the Gallows.

"Yes they do. Andraste's Mabari warned her of danger."

"That's just a tavern song Alistair."

Sing it with me Cullen. Maybe she'll hear …. No she's not allowed to hear. She ruined our life."

Cullen had flopped down on the seat next his long-time friend keeping him upright for the moment. He was in a seedy tavern in the lower parts of the Kirkwall putting up with a drunkard. Which was damaging both of their reputations. Why was he allowing Alistair to get away with what he found unacceptable in other recruits?

He looked up when two recruits entered the tavern. His glance was pulled to the side when he noticed the dog looking toward the back of the room where the rooms were and barking. But when he followed the dogs gaze, he saw two warriors and a dark-haired woman with her back to him.

"Sorry Serah. We turned our backs for a moment, and he got away from me again."

Cullen noted the bruised eye and the split lip. Not many could match Alistair when they were boys and now with his time spent as a Grey Warden there was no telling how good he was. "What happened?"


	37. Caught

'Serah, Knight Alistair took us into the Rose. While in there an elf decided, he wanted to bed him. He plied him with drinks to coerce him into the backrooms. But Knight Alistair wasn't interested, and the elf gave up. But the Knight didn't stop drinking even when Keran took away the ale. He was able to get two of the other girls to give him drinks. He kept talking about being in a brothel and someone named Zevran."

I stood there on the stairs listening to the recruits tell the tale vacillating between wanting to throttle Alistair and feeling sorry for him. Everything he lost was his own fault, but he lost the only family he had when he left.

I couldn't even blame Teyrn for running and jumping into his lap. The sorrow under the drunk slurring pulled at my heart and yet I was so angry and hurt I wanted to pummel him to unconsciousness.

"I didn't think anything scared you, demon killer. But the look on your face…" Alton said before grunting from Darragh's elbow.

I scowled at him and glanced back over my shoulder. "Teagan or Cailan said nothing about him joining the Templars. Or that Rutherford would be here. I wonder which of the gods I offended that everyone I know, enemies as well as friends, are in Kirkwall."

Alton grew serious and stiffened in true warrior fashion. "I don't know that name. Should I put a bolt through his heart and be done with it."

Bitterly I said, "No the time to do that was two years ago before he convinced Aedan Cousland that the mages couldn't be saved, and the tower needed to be annulled. He is a problem but not that kind of one. They were close at one time. He may be able to help him. Alistair and he shared a room at monastery together."

"Which means?" Darragh prompted. "I don't mean to rush but the party we just left is going to get curious and come looking for us."

I rubbed the back of my neck and rolled my shoulder trying to stretch the stress out of them. "We could go get him now, but the idea was not to announce myself to the Templars. If there is a fight, we don't even have rooms that we can confine him. I can't send him home yet since Cailan wants the refuge project to be his first 'royal' duty transitioning out of the Grey Warden. I haven't had a chance to get that started yet. Not to mention now Teyrn has defected."

"I say for tonight let's leave him where he is. He will come back here eventually. There is a safety with the Templars. As for Teyrn, he just missed the lad. I'll take him out to do his business, go, and check on our waif and her family. I am sure Enid will be overjoyed to see your mutt. I'll be back in an hour or so. They should be gone by then and we can figure something out."

It was logical and I agreed. But then I frowned I saw Alistair for a minute and my brain turned to mush and I needed someone else to tell me what to do. I needed to pull myself together and start acting like the Warden Commander.

"Is there a chance with your 'disguise' he won't…"

"What Alton, recognize me? We were the last three Wardens in Ferelden. I shared his bed for six months. I could have horns, grow wings and breathe fire and he'd know me. I think they both would. The Templar was …" I tried to come up with a polite explanation of Cullen's confession. "Assigned to watch me for two years at the tower. Very little I did got past him."

If Alton was going to respond he didn't have, an opportunity as it was then Varric decided to join us on the landing. The speculative look he gave us told me he might have overheard some of the conversation.

"Were you planning on leaving us?"

"I am but they are not. The hound needs to go outside to relieve himself and I have somewhere I need to be for an hour." Darragh said smoothly.

Varric studied the small group. Whatever they had been discussing wasn't pleasant but the looks on their faces. "Ash Warrior business I take it?"

"In a manner of speaking," Darragh replied with a slight grin. "What is it that you want to know dwarf."

"You're direct. I like that. You're an Ash Warrior but they are not. You all claim he is in charge but it's really the girl, who according to you is unimportant. Why the act?"

"How much did you overhear?" I ask.

"That wouldn't be a conformation would it?"

I laughed he was everything Bodahn said he was. "Your right of course but you already knew that. I would wager you were aware before we even joined for the drink. At least that is what your reputation would lead me to believe. But tell me what gave us away."

My question had been two-fold. One I wanted to know how much he knew and if I could trust him. The more he hedged the more wary I would be.

"I'm a dwarf. I might not have been born in Orzammar, but every dwarf knows about Ash Warriors. You're too young and pretty to be a criminal intent on redeeming yourself. And your bowman… no respecting follower of Luthias Dwarfson would use a bow.

Also, they flank you. Then there is the slight hesitation when you make the decision and they pretend it is theirs. Your costume is wrong. No warrior carries a staff and a sword. On top of that there is the direct refusal to identify you."

My grin widened and I said, "You should write detective novels. Wait you do. To be fair only Darragh said he was Ash Warrior. Alton just likes traveling because he is hiding from irate husbands whose wives throw themselves at him. And he is too much of a gentleman to refuse a lady. The staff is for walking."

I had trouble keeping a straight face when Darragh snorted. One because half of it was true and secondly because I said it aloud. "They didn't introduce me because I am not here. The Ferelden crown has tasked me to assess the needs of the refuges and start sending them home. Which is why I have bodyguards. Alton is the best bowman in all of Thedas and you will not find a more honorable and talented blade than Darragh."

Varric thought about it for several moments. It was plausible. "Why all the covert spy craft? And the story about being a warrior at Ostagar?"


	38. The Agreement

To my Spanish speaking guest: thank you for the reviews. I am glad you are still liking it.

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My smile faltered. "I fought at Ostagar. As did both Alton and Darragh. We were all in the battle when the traitor quit the field. Do you think an Ash Warrior would protect me if I were to embellish that truth?

With Ferelden's recent civil war, it wouldn't be perceived well if a minor noble received accolades for bringing people home. Logistically, it will require a soldier to do the actual work. Politically the Crown should get the credit. But there is no way we are allowing Cailan," I bit my tongue for a moment at my mistake and continued, "His Majesty put himself in danger again."

Varric turned to Darragh, "King Cailan ordered you to travel and protect her. She is that important?"

"We weren't discussing my reasons. Now you know, what are you going to do with the information?" Darragh demanded assuming the same arm crossed stance Alton took the moment Varric confirmed he knew more than he let on.

"From your bluster I am assuming you want me to keep it quiet. And I will if you promise to give me all the details. I want to get them right when I write this."

"No."

Varric was surprised by her response. Most people wanted to be made into heroes. Including Hawke even when he was protesting. "No? To the details or writing of the tale."

"Both. I won't have the King undermined by an outlandish version of getting the refugees home. And we can't have people on either side of the Waking Sea manipulate the outcome of who gets what. I may not stop you from telling what you know but you'll get no more information."

I wasn't going to threaten him. I didn't see the point. Everything I had learned from Bodahn this afternoon said he was the kind of dwarf I could trust. Of all the suppliers the Tethras brothers could've employed they allowed Sandal and Bodahn to travel with them.

If he gave me his word, I would trust him. "My sources told me that you have your thumb in everything or know someone who does. I need that kind of man. And I will pay you for your help, but the story is not for sale."

"Is that why you helped Hawke today?"

"No. We just arrived and didn't know who you were. All we saw was a group being attacked, you holding your own, and then becoming overwhelmed. When no one, including a city guard came to your aid my protectors who are men of honor wouldn't just stand by and allow you to be overtaken. Now I need your word."

"What should I call you? Because if you keep refusing to answer I am not the only one to get suspicious." Varric said giving his agreement.

Darragh and Alton relaxed to the point they were on alert and not attack. For the moment, Varric was an asset if not an ally.

"The noble title given her is Arlessa."

"You consider an Arlessa minor nobility? Why would minor nobility refer to your king by his given name?"

I opened my mouth and snapped it shut but not before glaring at Alton and his big mouth. I kept slipping with my familiarity to royalty and one day it was going to bite me in the arse. "Actually, it is Teyrn my dog that has a higher rank and is more important. But you are not calling me Arlessa. When I was growing up my friends called me Ona."

"Are we friends?" Varric asked.

"I would like to be. I believe there is profit for both sides. I get know the great novelist Varric Tethras and you get to help the people of Kirkwall and Ferelden."

"Then we're friends and you have my word. Now do you want to tell me about the Templars down there?"

"That Varric is a story for a different night. Darragh was going to take the dog out before your bartender complains more. And I will tell you about the young girl he is going to visit and put the fear of Ferelden into her uncle while we play a hand of Diamond back."

"Will you be wagering your clothes again?"

"Never on the first game. Besides, you have neither a beard nor mustache. What could you possibly have as valuable?"

"Have I introduced you to Bianca?"

"I thought the elf was a man."

"No the elf is Fenris. My crossbow is Bianca."

Alton frowned, "You named your crossbow?"

I glanced over my shoulder as Darragh was walking over to Cullen and Alistair. I shrugged and said, "I've known plenty of dwarves who've named their weapons. Og, Bhelen, Sig even Kardol. Although I am sure plenty of human males do it too."

Varric chuckled at Alton's question and responded he hadn't met the beauty yet. Then went about introducing Fenris to Alton and me. I went through the motions of listening and responding in the appropriate places, but my mind was back on the main floor of the tavern. Seeing Alistair again hurt but seeing him in Templar armor was like slapping me in the face.


	39. Alistair

Kanta Thank you. I am glad you like Varric / Spanish guest - I glad you are enjoying it / Judy -Yay your back I missed you.

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Two years ago, when he led his men in the Kings service, he had no idea he would be standing in a foreign land under the command of a woman/child. Fate was a funny thing.

Especially since as being an Ash Warrior meant turning your back on your past. Things tended to get complicated when your past didn't know it wasn't supposed to come back to haunt you.

He had to admit he was proud of her even if she was failing as a commander. Her desire to succeed was admirable but she tried to treat every mission like it was on she was on the blight. She wanted to be everyone's friend which lead to hurt feelings.

He knew the moment he did it and cursed the maker for putting him in that spot. But he didn't have time to worry about the past and present colliding.

His brother in law had signed on as Tethras's muscle and wanted his help since he was in Kirkwall. His help on this mission was far too observant. And his hero was going to bet the death of him literally.

On top of that he had a couple to put back together despite themselves. He caught the fearful look in her eye as he watched her follow the dwarf in the back room and wanted to reassure her before heading down the stairs. To reign in a mutt who probably knew everything but was no help.

"I am Darragh. I apologize for the hound's manors. He normally doesn't knock people to the ground and slobber all over them."

"He's a good boy. Who's a cute and adorable puppy?" asked in a sing song voice scratching the jowls of the Mabari.

Cullen sighed deeply. He was due back at the gallows two hours ago but instead he was sitting in a tavern trying to coax his friend to eat food and sober up so they could return. And now Alistair had found something else to sidetrack him. On one hand he was tempted to allow knight to find his way home.

He had two recruits to reprimand, his own vigil and the duty roster for next week to finish and get to the Knight Commander. But who was he kidding Alistair was just as lost and broken as he was before coming to Kirkwall? So here he sat listening to some random stranger apologize for allowing his dog to molest them.

"Does your dog like Andraste's Mabari? We are sharing an ale and requesting the minstrel to play the tune."

"I don't know. He isn't mine. I am just taking him outside to take care of business. His owner has a room here, but she should not be out and about at night. But I imagine that if a hound liked a tavern song, that would be the one."

"They do. My hound … would listen as Lilly..lealan… Lilianna would sing it just for him."

"Your dog?" Darragh asked. "I didn't know Templars were allowed hounds."

'I'm not a templar … I m a grey ward…. Hic… den."

Darragh looked at the long-suffering Knight Captain and said, "You might want to sober him up. If he keeps claiming to be a grey warden. They are going to take offence. I hear Ferelden's Commander of the Grey doesn't have patience for stolen honor. Her punishment fits the crime. She conscripts them and they have to serve their first two years in the deep roads with the Legion of the Dead."

"I am a Grey Warden. I fought with the hero; Maker damn her beautiful hide."

The tone was reproving as Darragh took a moment to chastise the former warden. "So, you're still celebrating the archdemon's defeat then. So did the rest of Thedas. But I would think you had duties that needed attending too. I knew an Alistair once. He was a skillful warrior. Fought in the Kings battle at Ostagar. A grey Warden too, if I remember correctly. But he wouldn't be drunk in a tavern, he had too much self-respect. Come Teyrn, let's go outside."

Cullen, "Alistair said animatedly. Did you hear his hound is name Teyrn? You don't think she is here right? Do you think she came looking for me?"

Cullen swallowed hard. The idea of Rhiannon being on this side of the Waking Sea both terrified him and enthralled him. No woman but her had made him doubt his responsibility or calling. He knew he made the right decision at the Tower. No mage tortured could have held out that long. But he wished she hadn't been there to see it.

Between the look she gave him and the curse she spat at him when leaving that was one mage, he was torn about seeing. He wondered if the warrior actually traveling with her. "No Alistair, I am sure it is common name for a hound. What would she be doing in Kirkwall? Please now please eat. We need to get back to the gallows. Before Commander Meredith stripes the hide off our backs."

Teyrn nuzzled Alistair and gave a small woof before following Darragh out the door.

Alistair watched through bloodshot eyes debating if he should whistle and call the dog back. But if he did and it really was Teyrn then that meant Rhi was here. And she haunted his dreams as much as the Darkspwan. He needed another drink.

His life changed the moment he walked into camp and found the three of them had joined Bodahn Feddic and his son Sandal. He couldn't decide if it would have been better to believe Cailan and Rhi were dead than to travel all over Ferelden falling in love with her and befriending him, and then finding out he was nothing more than a joke to them.

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NOTE: We are returning to about 20 days after the battle of Ostagar in the next few chapters.


	40. Kings Rest

**_WARNING: (POSSIBLE Trigger) _**This chapter deals with fighting back during an attempted rape. NOT Graphic

Thank you Judy and my spanish speaking guest. I am glad you like it.

Here is the map I use when writing. It is done by a talented artist on DeviantArt rubecso/art/Ferelden-Map-Simple-722043493

_9:30_ **Dragon,**/ _20_ **Wintermarch ** – Kings Rest, Fereleden 

Cailan, Teyrn and I had fallen into rhythm in the last ten days since Flemeth left us on the Kings Highway outside the village of King's Rest a four-day walk northwest of Ostagar.

That was the first place we got in trouble and learned how deep Cailan's father in law's treachery went. We had gone to the tavern to get a meal and a room. When they asked us if we were refugees, I responded, no Grey Wardens.

Every village member turned and started attacking us for murdering the king. Cailan was impressed by their patriotism but a little less than enthused by their exuberance in bringing us to justice. The altercation was short. Cailan had no weapons; they muzzled Teyrn and left me with no choice but to use magic or be captured.

Unfortunately, when I froze the group in the tavern, I paralyzed my companions also. That was no longer going to be my go-to spell. Feeling foolish, I went around and removed the weapons from the hands of our attackers.

Thinking that I had tipped the balance in our favor I missed the Templar coming down the stairs until the blow landed across my head. Knocked to the ground I sat up her sword was at my throat.

The Templar along with two of the Bann's soldiers escorted us to the dudgeon. Where they confined the three of us in separate cells with an empty one between us. After that they proceeded to ignore us for hours.

The jeers and ribald remarks told us that didn't believe for a moment that we were Grey Wardens. The Templar thought I was either mage who'd escaped the circle or apostate on the run. Either way the Bann would deal with the dog and Cailan in the morning and I was off to the tower.

Along about the darkest part of the night when we were trying to get some sleep despite the rodent and flea infestation two of the jailors decided to have some fun with us. They mocked my robes and told me I would be better off naked with all the skin that showed. They were going to teach a mage the Ferelden way to dress. Their intention was to rape me.

The altercation woke both Cailan and Teyrn.

As the two men pushed me back and forth between them toying with me. Cailan shouted at them to stop and tried to force his way out of the stone cell. Teyrn tried to dig his way through stone. Me. I was attempting to use the sword I pulled from one of my attacker's scabbard.

The bigger of the two men quickly knocked the blade from my inexperienced hands and backhanded me. This really upset Teyrn who started gnawing on the bars. Cailan's shouts became louder.

Which big and burly sent his partner out to shut them up. That didn't interest the taller leaner man, and he jerked me to my feet by hair. I guess he thought he could take me with him.

His partner mollified his anger by punching me in the stomach and telling him not to worry he would get his turn; they had all night. They were of the opinion that with the Templar in the other room, there was no magical way to fight back. That was only partially true.

Doubled over clutching my stomach I tried to calm my nerves. I had faced Ogres and Templars; these were only men. I controlled my breathing enough that I could stand.

And the torment started again. But I could finally grasp tendrils of the fade so the Templar must have finally fell asleep.

Big and burly grabbed me by the throat, pulled me against his body, and ground his mouth against mine forcing his tongue into my mouth. Biting as hard as I could I put both palms on his face and thought freeze. My magic responded to my fear and anger in within seconds he was frozen sold.

The other man froze for a moment but not by magic but fear. Sometimes the reputation the blood mages gave us came in handy. I wasted no time in trying to get away from either of the men.

I was almost at the cell door when he grabbed me from behind causing me to fall backward into my first attacker. We hit the floor with me falling on the frozen man and him shattering into hundreds of pieces.

The lean man was angry, scared and struck me with a mailed hand opening a cut that went from my cheek to my lip. Then drug me into a standing position by my hair before flinging me onto the bed. As he advanced, I put my hands out in front of me and flames erupted from them engulfing the man.

As he was dying, he reached out for me screaming in pain. I scrambled out of his reach slipping on what was left of his frozen friend. I shrieked as I almost lost my balance. I wasn't thinking straight I'd killed Darkspwan but never humans.

I grabbed the key ring with trembling hands and tried to let myself out of the cell. But my hands were shaking so much that I could not put the key into the lock.

"Rhiannon." Cailan called out trying to calm me.

I was still trying to stab the hole with the key, and I wasn't paying attention to him. I was trying to block out the dying man's screams.

"RHIANNON!"

I looked up bewildered.

"Look at me," he said softly. "Breathe."


	41. First Blood

Judy thank you.

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I breathed. But the breaths were coming too fast. I felt like I did at Ostagar. Overwhelmed and panicked. And then I heard it. A hair-raising howl followed by a low-pitched moan and another hackle raising long howl.

I looked a Teyrn, who was on his haunches with his head tilted back to the double moons and howling like a wolf. The howl slowly died out. The hound lowered his head and gave me a measured look before barking. I took a shuttering breath. And then a deeper one. I felt my body expand and I held it for a second. The key in my palm felt heavy.

Calmer I reached through the bars and put the key in the lock and turned. The door swung out with my weight against it. Quickly I moved to the cell holding Teyrn and freed him before turning to let the king out of his cell.

He pulled me into a hug. To comfort me and to assure himself I was all right and said, "You are going to learn how to use a weapon. You will never be defenseless again because you can't access your magic."

Nodding I agreed. I turned back to the cell I was imprisoned in and stepped over the still smoldering body to get at the blade I had tried to use before. We were bound to run into more soldiers and Cailan needed a weapon.

We needed to find the rest of our possessions. The books on magic were important as one taught healing. Something I was going to make time to study. My staff had been our only weapon. As was Morien's armor. Cailan had wanted to give it to his family as well as make the man a Bann for the child his betrothed was carrying.

We practically ran until we came to the main Jailors room and stopped dead in our tracks. There sitting at the table playing a card game were two Templars in armor. They examined us laughing at some private joke.

"Cade look what we have here. A mage who murdered her jailors."

"Definitely a blood mage. I say we take her to Aeonar and collect the bounty."

"Over my dead body," Cailan said holding the long sword assuming a fighting stance. Teyrn growled menacingly his hackles raised and crouched to attack.

The templars laughed and mocked "You don't say. Just who in the Maker's Name are you?"

"The King of Ferelden!"

"Well I guess we don't have a problem then. They Grey Wardens murdered the king at Ostagar. But you, poor man, you have been thralled by a wicked, wicked mage into believing such nonsense."

I didn't know what to think. I knew everyone believed Cailan was dead but why would they think the Wardens killed him. It was a massive battle with many casualties.

"I am very much alive … and I am telling you that this mage is only guilty of defending herself."

"They died by magic. Therefore, she murdered them. She probably lured them into her cell with promises of the flesh and killed them." Cade said unsympathetically coming gracefully to his feet and drawing his sword.

It was then I realized that the Templars had been out here all this time … and they had quit using their talents and allowed me to kill the men. Or worse they would have stood by and allowed them to rape me. "You heard the entire thing and did nothing. You permitted my mana so I could use magic. You wanted me to kill them, so you could charge me with being a blood mage."

Cailan studied the men for a moment and then spat on the ground. "You disgust me. Templars are supposed to protect the mages. Not harm them. When I get back to …"

He didn't get to finish his threat as the Templar called Cade had pulled his blade and lunged at us.

Bryne jumped up from the table knocking over his chair to assist his fellow Templar who was losing the battle against both Teyrn and Cailan. He'd hoped to even the odds and assist his friend when a jolt of electricity passed through him.

In pain he turned on the mage only to have her hit him in the chest with the chair. The wood splintered and drove him backwards tripping over Teyrn.

On his back he held his hands up and begged for mercy. To which Cailin impaled him with his own sword and said, "You've shown no mercy, why should I?"

We were in sync as we looted the bodies for items needed. I started on the two templars in front of me while Cailan walked back to the holding cells and rummaged our previous attackers.

When he came back, he walked over to the basin to wash off his spoils. There were seventy silver coins, two rings and an injury potion. To that I added four lyrium potions, one injury potion and a healing balm as well as both swords two amulets and ten gold sovereigns.

Our possessions and looted goods gathered and placed in our bags we removed the armor from the Templars. We would escape town by pretending to be the Chantry's soldiers. It would give us armor and weapons as well as hide our identities. That was until the next batch of guards found the bodies. Or the Templar who'd captured us came looking for her companions.

On our way out of town we passed several of the Bann's guards who paid no attention to us in our disguises and let us leave town unmolested.

Once away from public eyes I removed the armor. It was too heavy for me to walk in. And if we were seen I would just pretend to be a mage he was returning to the tower.


	42. Warden's Camp

Judy thank you for taking the time and reviewing. My spanish speaking guest .. I am glad you like it. Btw can I get your name so I can call you by it?

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Four days ago, we met Bodahn and his son Sandal. He was a chatty sort. And the first time I had ever met a dwarf. Cailan gave me a patronizing look as I could barely contain my excitement at meting them. Until I reminded him that I grew up in the tower never getting outside until I was conscripted.

Bodahn offered to buy the looted items and for a discount sold us items, we needed. Cailan was able to trade out of his Templar robes and armor for a plain set of iron plate armor. Closer to what he had before the battle. Unfortunately, the dwarf had nothing in stock could replace the chasiend robes.

Although I wasn't minding them as much anymore. Movement was easy. I still blushed deeply when I caught Cailan starring, but even that caused me to giggle. Sometimes I even forgot he was married and flirted back. But eventually something would remind both of us and we go back to being as formal as two people sharing a tent could be.

We bought a tent from a vendor in the last village designed for one person. It became even more crowded when Teyrn joined us. Cailan wanted him out of the tent and grumbled about our chaperone as the hound laid between us. But I asked him if he didn't want to sleep out in the cold and snow, why would he banish Teyrn.

The hound lover that Cailan was he reluctantly conceded but demanded a bigger tent. I agreed. None of us had taken a bath recently and we stunk.

As we sat down that night back on the King's Highway to the meal that Cailan and Sandal made Bodahn started telling about the gossip he'd heard in the towns including how the Grey Wardens killed the king and a bounty was being offered.

He said he didn't believe such nonsense since he met the Grey Wardens outside of Lothering and they had saved his and his boys life and asked for nothing in return. He was on his way to join them in their camp.

That was when we officially joined them.

At first, the dwarf wasn't interested in our company until I explained I was also a Grey Warden separated by the battle trying to return to our friends.

Cailan told them the story we agreed on keeping most of the details from what I told him up to Flemeth's hut. He only changed whom we protected to Duncan and that Warden Commander did not survive.

I hadn't been happy about that part but after he explained, his reasoning almost made sense. I needed to get Flemeth to heal someone important. We wouldn't have left the battle for just anyone.

Traveling the kings Highway, we had our share of skirmishes with thieves, darkspawn and animals. We fought them together with several mishaps and friendly fire along the way as the King and I got used to fighting as a team. Only having Teyrn there kept us from being completely inept and the prey animals laughing at us. The hunter Cailan was made short work of their hides skinning them for later and putting meat in the stew pot.

We passed four towns before making it to the Warden's camp. Two of them the Darkspawn had completely gutted. We protected Bodahn and Sandal as they salvaged items from the deserted buildings. Neither of us particularly liked him looting the villages but agree with his point. While they looted Cailan and I burned what bodies were left before starting for the next village.

At the third village we were able to help the soldiers fight back and survive the party of darkspawn. That night, hailed as heroes we slept indoors, had plenty to eat that we didn't kill, and we bathed, even the dog.

There were several things in the store Cailan, and I took advantage of while we had the opportunity. Extra set of clothes so we had something to wear after taking off the armor. A tent large enough to fit a family. Some soaps and spell components that I couldn't get by foraging. As well as walnut oil to touch up the golden growth of Cailan's hair.

When we left the town a day later, we were welcomed back by the villagers and told that they didn't believe the Warden's guilty of killing King Cailan.

Which is how we arrived at the Warden's empty camp two days ago. Bodahn and Sandal were gone before the sun had risen but they had left their cart so I assumed they would be back. Cailan was in his smalls, arms and legs akimbo softly snoring.

I climbed out of the tent careful not to disturb dog or the king. I wanted to find a moment to practice. Cailan had been serious about teaching me weapons as he started that night.

Most of the knowledge had been general. But he had given me several long branches and was to practice over downward strikes and sideways strikes. My opponents had been boulders and trees up to this point.

The first fifty to sixty times I hit something I knocked my branch out of my own hands. Then there were the times I accidently set the branch on fire when I got so frustrated.

He had to help me apply the healing potion… clicking his tongue and explaining only berserkers fought with anger. That was the last time he got to watch me practice. I hated looking like a fool.

I spent an hour working with the branch and a rock. I've gotten decent against the rocks and trees. I had even added and underhand swing I had seen used during the battle. Whether I liked it or not it might be time to ask Cailan for another lesson.

I had also started practicing healing. I started with the tree I had been beating on for the last hour and healed the cuts and abrasions to the bark and flesh. I was sure I could heal a cut on a person without a potion, but I wasn't willing to harm Cailan or Teyrn to see if I could.

But the next time one of us got injured I was. I was about sixty pages into the healing tome.

But just in case I still gathered plants every morning to brew more potions. I was never going to be in the same situation I was at in Ostagar and the retreat.

Plus, Bodahn had sold a good share of them and coin was always good. That was how I got the metal washing tub I talked Bodahn into transporting for me.

Morrigan's wards were as good as her mothers. If not better. As it was only by feeling the vacancy of energy that the wards create that I found their camp. The dwarves, Teyrn and Cailan all walked by.

The magic was slight enough that I might have missed it too if I hadn't felt and relied on Flemeth's before. So, for the last two days we were here I walked them twice a day to make sure the magic hadn't faded. The first day Cailan had walked with me but left when he realized I needed to concentrate to feel the subtle shift in magic.


	43. The Other Warden

Kanta48 I am glad you like the look back to the blight. Thanks for commenting. Judy. Thank you. My Spanish speaking guest :Muchas gracias por comentar (google translate)

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I returned a little after midday to the warden's camp and the smell of roasted meat made my mouth water. The king had turned out to be a great hunter and cook. Of course, he had Teyrn's help.

And I found Teyrn trying to defend Cailan from a redhead in Chantry Robes and a white-haired warrior half the size of the ogre.

I saw red when the sword slashed the side of my hound and heard the yelp of pain. Without thinking I put both my hands out, pulled from my mana and let lose several fireballs in quick succession. I turned to electrify the other one when I felt the point of a sword in my back.

"It is not wise to attack a Grey Warden and his party when you are trespassing in his camp."

I turned and faced the dark-haired male who was two years my senior. "Really. When we got here the camp was deserted. Besides as a Grey Warden myself I have a right to be here."

"Andraste's tits, Rhiannon. I thought you were thieves. Better yet we thought you were dead. Wait how did you survive? You deserted, didn't you? That's why you never made it to the Tower."

"No. I did not abandon my duty. Duncan gave me a different assignment."

Aedan lowered his sword and stroked his goatee. "Are you telling me that a mage who can't cook, can't set up a tent, or walk more than ten miles without needing a break found our camp. Its more possible that thieves found our campsite and you found the thieves."

"Oh right," I said sarcastically. Because thieves are going to put up a tent in camp. Have food roasting over a fire and put a bathtub in a tent by the lake. If we were thieves, we would have stolen the property we wanted and left before you ever got back. I know you're a spoiled self-centered noble but are the Cousland's really that stupid?"

"No! But spies pretending to …"

"Fade take you Aedan. You were there at my conscription. I joined the Warden's just like you did. Your right I can't do a lot of things you can. I didn't have the freedom you did. But I fought the Darkspawn just like you do. My magic equals or bests your swords any day."

"Then where were you? You never came to help us at the tower. We almost died. It was just Alistair and I waiting for you. What were you sitting back with Loghain watching everyone we knew die? Then thrall a solider to do all the things you can't do and pretend to come find us?"

"Of all the motherless mongrels. You know what you inbreed son of … no I will not insult the hounds like that. I was on the battlefield. Fighting and surviving. I was at the king's side. I fought with Duncan. I wasn't being whisked away to safety by Flemeth."

"Good job with that. Both are dead."

Cailan cleared his throat they were in the middle of a stalemate and nothing was going to be accomplished by yelling at each other. And he wanted to make sure that Rhiannon didn't give away his secret defending herself. "Where is Alistair and Morrigan?"

"Why would that matter?" The large warrior asked. "Are you or are you not a Grey Warden?"

"Yes."

"Then you are welcome, in the camp, no? I am Leliana."

"Good for you," I say grumbling. I am angry at Aedan for his comments. I am angry at her for the wound she gave my hound.

"Rhiannon," Cailan admonished.

"What?" I hedged. "Fine, Morien but she injured Teyrn."

The redhead slid both short swords into scabbard on to her back and said, "I am so sorry about that. I thought … oh never mind. I am sorry. They say music can soothe the savage beast. Maybe I could sing to the hound."

I huff out and disgusted sigh laugh mixture, "Are you saying my Mabari is a savage beast?"

"Rhiannon," Cailan chastised.

"Yes. He fought like a beast. He is a noble warrior."

I found myself smiling even though I didn't want to and grudgingly gave in. "Fine maybe he will enjoy it while I heal him. But none of those religious songs you Chantry type are so fond of."

"Very well. I think I know just the one. And then you can tell me about this washtub. I don't think I've had a bath since Lothering."

I looked at Cailan and asked. "Morien, when the food is…"

"I'll bring it."

Cailan was telling me that he had the situation with the warrior and the warden in hand. Especially since the large metallic skinned warrior had put his sword away and was trying to tend his wounds. The king held out his hand and I knew he was looking for a healing balm. I resentfully gave it to him. He winked once to tell let me know he felt the same way but needed to make peace.

Teyrn limped to the tent more losing blood than I liked. I felt foolish standing around arguing with Aedan when my hound could have been bleeding to death. I don't know when I had become so argumentative. I'd never been that way in the past.

"Lay down. If this hurts, I am sorry. But after I get done, I will get you a crunch and some cooked meat."

Teyrn whimpered in agreement and awkwardly slumped to the ground, laying with his wounded side up. What surprised me is that the redhead sat down on the ground beside him and put his head in her lap. And Teyrn allowed her

As I put my hands over the wound on his side and called on my mana, I could hear her softly croon about Andraste and a Mabari. I didn't hear the words as I was focusing too hard on the spell but could see the thumping of my hound's tail. The lady with the funny accent might be all right after all.

I was ecstatic when the blood stopped flowing and the skin and muscle began to knit closed. What I had been practicing on with the tree worked on human and hound flesh. I couldn't wait to tell Cailan.


	44. Apologies

Judy: thank you for the review. You are awesomely faithful. My spanish speaking guest. Thank you for the review. I like her too. She has just enough fire to be fun.

* * *

I looked up as I heard a baritone voice clearing his throat. I scowled as I examined its owner. Standing there just outside of my tent's entrance was Aedan Cousland. He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand and cleared his throat again.

Leliana gave me a small smile and squeezed my hand. "I am going to check out this tub. When you are done maybe you can help?"

I nodded and watched her stand and walk away. I wanted to tell Aedan to go jump in a hole crawling with Darkspawn, but I didn't wish that on the Darkspawn.

Instead, I haughtily stood there waiting for him to speak first. I was being childish, and I knew it. But he accused me of deserting, being in league with the Traitor and causing the death of Duncan and the King. Even with Duncan there, we only tolerated each other. He thought I was useless and I thought he was a spoiled brat.

"Rhiannon, I am sorry."

Ugh, he apologized and no one prompted him. I wanted to stay mad. But if I had it rough then so did, he. I allowed the tilt of my chin to soften and uncrossed my arms.

He took it as a good sign and continued. "At first I really did think Morien was a thief. I didn't stop and consider the meat roasting or see the new tent. And then, when I saw you, I was angry that you survived."

I snorted and crossed my arms again. Maybe I was a little quick in forgiving him.

"Rhiannon don't take it like that. I didn't mean… look! Sten, Leliana, Morrigan Alistair and I just came back from Ostagar. We found … the king strewn up on pikes. The Darkspawn were tormenting us with his body. And Loghain Mac Tir just left him there to rot. We didn't find you or Duncan… and that hit Alistair especially hard. And I didn't find Fergus. To relive the battle and see the carnage, only to come back and find you alive but not them. I am sorry. I shouldn't have…"

"Your right you should not have, but I understand. You didn't find Duncan because I sent him to the Maker with flames. I was not going to leave him to be eaten by those monsters. As for you Brother, I never seen him but there is a possibility that he is still alive. Many soldiers were fighting for their lives and fleeing when… Morien and I and others were trying to …"

"It's all right. You don't have to coddle me. After viewing, King Cailan strung up, as some sick trophy there isn't a lot of hope for Fergus. But how did you survive?"

"Flemeth. She is a dragon, literally. She flew us out of the Wilds and left us a Kings Rest. It's just inside of the Redcliff Arling. After she told us that you guys were going to gather the armies using the treaties and of Arl Eamon. We figured that was the best place to catch up with you. We ran into Bodahn Feddic and his son. They said they knew where you camp was. Morien and I liked that idea better."

Aedan looked down at the ground. "Sorry about the thrall comment."

I shrugged. He had made his low opinion of mages clear after the incident with Jowan. It hurt more than I was willing to let him see and said, "I understand. He and Teyrn are the only ones that survived of the party as we fled Ostagar. And if it weren't for Flemeth's potions he wouldn't have survived."

I had kept to the truth as close as possible. I hated the idea of lying to them. But the king commanded me.

As a group, we settled into an uncomfortable truce over a meal of roasted druffalow. Leliana shared the story from Lothering until now. With occasional interruptions from Aedan and grunts from the Qunari Sten.

Cailan after introducing himself as one of the Kings personal guards ordered to protect the Grey Wardens until the Archdemon was killed. Shared the story of Ostagar and traveling out of the wilds. Including the meeting with Flemeth as a dragon.

It was amazing how smoothly he told the story and how close to the truth it actually was since he was unconscious most of the time. I wondered if because I had retold it several times while he tried to come to terms with the chaos.

It was Teyrn's low growl that alerted us to company.

She paused only a moment, as she looked Cailan and me over before walking toward the campfire. As she bent over and cut a slab of meat from the spit imperiously, she said, "I see mother found you. She was not happy when you were not with the others. It is good to know you survived on your own until she could help you."

Cailan and I silently exchanged glances. Flemeth _had_ known we would be at her hut. But before we could ask any questions, Morrigan turned away from the fire and sauntered to the back of the clearing to the large tent with herbs and glass beakers.

Leliana was conspicuously looking at her plate and frowning. I had to wonder if it was my imagination or did these two not get along. The Qunari seemed to be ignoring the woman. Only Aedan showed any concern or interest jumping up to follow her. I heard the word Flemeth and assumed he would be asking about the new information.

* * *

A suggestion was given to me. Readers wanted to know more of the backstory I was providing in the flash blacks. As it will help for the second an third part of this series I decided to add it. But I did not want this story to ramble or become ten million words. So I will be adding supplemental chapters and linking them as one shot stand alone pieces. Look for Rhiannon's conscription next week.


	45. All Together Again

Judy -Thank you. Every tome I see your comment I smile.

For all those interested in more of Rhiannon's and Alistair's backstory... Check out **_Finding Alistair_ ** Being released at the beginning of each week.

* * *

Time passed slowly. Too slowly for the two of us. Long enough for Cailan to finish eating his steak and root vegetables. I'd finished earlier and debated getting seconds. I had no idea why I was always so hungry anymore.

By the third time he looked at the camp entrance, I studied him. I could see the worry etched in his face. We had become close and he shared what having a brother would have meant for him. And he was between a rock and the mountain. If he showed too much interest in Alistair, it would look strange.

But neither of us could imagine what was keeping him.

About an hour later I gave in and was carving myself another hunk of meat off the animal. Teyrn's head rose. So, did Rabbit's. But it was Rabbit's reaction with the tail thumping on the ground and low pitched woos that told me the other Warden was about to enter camp.

His walk was uneven as if he either limping or carrying an oversized load. When he finally entered camp, we almost couldn't see the man for the packages he was carrying. I nudged Cailan. He looked at me startled and then realized he should go help.

I quickly looked at the ground to hide the grin from the king. Least he took my amusement at his giddiness as anything other than polite acknowledgement. Fade take that. He thought I was funny making a big deal out of two dwarfs. I shook my head laughing lightly and motioned to his brother. "Well what are you waiting for? Go. Help him."

I hadn't spoken that loudly, but Alistair heard it. You could see the packages move as he tried to see around them.

"I told you I did. I left the other grey warden's in the camp I did. They protected my boy and I until I could accept your kind offer. I thought there was no safer campsite that with a grey warden. And when they said they wanted to rejoin you. I thought there was no better way to repay the kindness you showed me and my boy. That and the sizable discount."

Cailan pulled two bundles of cloth or bedding from under each of Alistair's arms. He handed one to each dwarf and told them to carry over and leave it by the fire.

Then he took from the Grey Warden the wooden chest. Leaving Alistair with two sacks of weapons, two barely closed packs of miscellaneous items and a litter tied to his belt full of armor and oversized objects.

Seeing all that he was weighted down with I also hurried over to help. I pulled the packs off his shoulders wondering how he managed to walk at all. "Leliana, Sten can you come help?"

Both new companions were already on their way over to Alistair without having to be asked.

"Rhiannon."

He breathes my name and just stares for a moment. Leliana and Sten took the packs and the weapons leaving Alistair with the oversized items. He untied the litter from his belt loops and let it drop to the ground in a heap.

I am assuming he is trying to convince himself that I was real. One moment my feet were firmly planted on the ground and the next I have been crushed tight to his armored chest and swung around in a circle. He laughs happily as my feet dangle a foot off the ground and he swings me around twice more our laughter mixing.

"Maker's breath, you are a sight for sore eyes."

"Alistair. Your chances of being turned into a toad just went down. I am glad you are safe." I say hugging him back referencing our first meeting.

"I thought we lost you. Are you all right?

"I'm sorry I couldn't save Duncan. I tried. There were too many Darkspawn." Tears welled in my eyes.

He smoothed my hair as our foreheads touched and whispered, "sssh, I know you did what you could. I am just glad they didn't get you too."

I might have stayed in his embrace longer, but an irritated throat clearing retuned me to my senses. I stepped away from Alistair with some satisfaction that he didn't seem to want to let me go and turned to introduce the king.

Instead Cailan took it upon himself to get acquainted. "I am Morien of his Majesty's personal guard. You're Alistair. King Cailan spoke highly of you. Can I say I am honored and excited to meet you?"

"You could but you would be the first one today," Alistair said clasping the arm of his brother. "May I ask why you abandoned your duty to the King?"

I gasped at the venom in Alistair's voice. It was as if he held the man personally responsible for the death of Cailan. And maybe he did. Maybe somewhere deep-down Alistair was hoping that they could've become brothers. I couldn't wait for his wish to come true.

"No Rhiannon it is all right. He has a point. The king's guard has no duty except to the king. Not too Ferelden not too his wife. But Alistair, the king knew he had underestimated the Darkspawn. The battle was going badly. He didn't know how many of the Grey Warden's on the field had or would live. And for Ferelden to survive the Grey Wardens that were left would need protection. I was commanded to stay with the Wardens until the blight was ended. The King knows ... knew that if anyone could save us it would be the Grey Wardens."

Alistair accepting the wisdom of Cailan's words and stopped glaring at the man and said, "then thank you for guarding our sister and bringing her back to us. "

"Rhiannon saved me not the other way around. I can honestly say if it weren't for her, I would not be standing here able to speak with you." Cailan said letting go of his arm.

Alistair looked at the mage and noticed the reddening of her cheeks. He had thought she had a pretty blush when he first met her. But now she was breath taking. He understood the Revered Mother cautioning the recruits that the world would end, and lightening would strike if they bedded a mage.

He hadn't noticed all her womanly attributes when he first returned to camp. But there standing in front of him with nothing to focus on except what wasn't covered. He had to admit she was always beautiful but there was now no denying it. He would have to take a cold bath in the lake tonight to even get any sleep. But there were worst things he could dream about.


	46. So It Begins

My Spanish speaking guest... I think it is a little more subtle in the game than here. But his response was based on two things. Relief that she wasn't dead and shared loss of Duncan. Also he is a 20 year old male and the chasiend Robes leave little to the imagination. ;) Judy- Faithful as ever... thank you.

* * *

Alistair could smell the scent of the roasted meat. It was the one thing that let him know he was traveling in the right direction carrying their looted items.

Morrigan and he were left to carry all the junk by virtue of lots. But the evil witch hag left him hauling all of it as she needed her hands free to protect them and the dwarves that found them.

"Maker's breath, please tell me there is more of that delicious smelling meat. My stomach is beginning to think my throat has been cut and I am never going to feed it again."

"Follow Morien, I will help the others get this into the camp."

"Wait. King Cailan's armor, King Maric's sword and Duncan's daggers are in there. I want to make sure that they don't get put in the pile for selling."

"Got it. Keep the pretentious gold armor and the special swords. Now go eat. Morien and Teyrn took two hours to bring that bull down and prepare him for the meal. We wouldn't want you dying from starvation here in camp."

"Hey now," Alistair responded to my good-natured ribbing.

I watched the two brothers walk towards the center of camp and turned my attention to the litter with the piece of armor and weapons. I picked up the poles and pulled. And it didn't budge. I knew I didn't have a lot of strength, but this was ridiculous. I tried again. Nothing. I turned around and pulling it behind me.

I switched positions for the third time and yanked as hard as I could. I was sure if I could get the momentum going then I would be fine. And as the wooden pole slide from my hands, I found myself in the dirt on my arse and Aedan braying at me like an ass.

I stood and glared at the condescending noble and my palms itched to cast the spell Winter's Breath on him. But I didn't want a repeat of the man in the cell. I didn't know if I would ever be able to use ice again.

Teyrn took sympathy on me and left Cailan's knee where the treats were coming from and with his teeth grabbed the material of the litter and started tugging. Between the two of us, we probably moved it several inches when the large metallic skinned warrior took mercy on me.

He easily dragged the scrap equipment over to the cart and dwarves. He dropped the litter on the ground not giving me a second thought as took his place by the fire. I wondered if that was his way of saying he was no longer upset by the burns from earlier.

I thanked Sten and received a grunt. The man truly didn't talk. I had asked him to tell me about himself and he said, "no." Nothing else. Leliana had told me not to worry it was just his way.

Teyrn feeling his job was done when back to his place at Cailan and Alistair's feet waiting for a morsel to drop.

I on the other hand started picking thorough the heaps of weapons trying to find a sword that didn't take both hands to lift and I could swing it like I did the branch. So far, I wasn't finding any.

"Andraste's Mercy, Rhiannon. You're a Mage. You shouldn't be playing with those," Alistair said jumping out of the way as I swung the dagger in a circle finding it not too heavy.

"Playing? I have you know, Morien is teaching me." I grumbled.

Alistair gave a measured look at the man who'd come up behind us. He wasn't sure how he felt about the Kings Guard. To be sure he didn't like the familiarity he had with the Grey Wardens. Although he couldn't fault the man for saving her. "Why would a mage need to know about sword work?"

"Because a Templar decided to take away my magic and leave me at the mercy of a couple of thugs."

"Then I know the perfect blade for you. And Duncan would approve." Alistair shifted through the pile of weaponry, setting aside a long sword with runes running down the entire blade. He made a noise of happiness and pulled a weapon with a twelve-inch blade.

He handed it to me. It was covered in a black sticky substance and I almost couldn't tell that the blade was red beneath the ooze. But the three-pound blade was slightly familiar.

"I understand you didn't know Duncan as long as I did. But you were important to him. I know that he would want you to have this."

I was humbled at both Alistair's willingness to give me something that clearly meant a lot to him. And the depth of feeling. But I didn't think it was fair to take something like that from him when I already had a piece of Duncan. I tried to make things right.

"Thank you, Alistair. But you should take this. When I left the Tower and Duncan found out I had nothing he gave me his dagger to use. I tried to give it back to him when we got to Ostagar. But he told me to keep it until after the battle. So, I still have that, but you have nothing."

"I have you… and Aedan and that is better than a short sword that I can't use. After the blight is done, I am going to Highover where I think he had family. If you wanted to you could join me. Aedan too if he wanted. I think he would like that."

I felt all warm and fuzzy inside. He had just compared me to a sword. Which for a warrior was one of the most important pieces of equipment he would own. I threw myself against his mailed chest ignoring the dried grime and gore to hug my fellow warden. There were only a few moments until I felt his weight shift and his arms wrap around me.

* * *

We are returning to Kirkwall next chapter.


	47. Back to the Gallows

Friesan Pirate & Kanta48 Thank you for favoriting the story. My Spanish speaking guest: Yes Poor Alistair. He never does anything halfway. Judy: As always your comment is a faithful as the sun. Thank you.

_9:32 _**Dragon **_19 _**Guardian **– The Hanged Man, Lowtown

It was two hours later when Alistair finished slurping his way through two bowls of Pig Oat Mash and four brandy spiked ciders. While he was no more sober than he was when he came into the Hanged Man at least now he was functioning. They could go back to the Gallows without drawing attention of Meredith.

Which was just as well because if she found him drunk on duty one more time, she was going to strip him of the Templar title and banish him from Kirkwall. They hadn't talked much after the warrior with the dog left. He assumed it was for the same reason he was quiet. They were both thinking about her.

"Come on Alistair. It is time to get back to the Gallows."

Alistair stood and wobbled. He put a hand on the table and steadied himself. "Let's get back to the scary templar lady who wants all the mages tranquil."

"Alistair," Cullen chided. "That is unkind of you. She is being vigilant and making sure the same thing doesn't happen here that happened back at Kinloch Hold. I know you weren't there, but it was horrible. I still have nightmares about it."

Alistair wisely choose not to say anything more as it was taking more effort to remain standing the longer, he stayed in one position. He was given help in the form of Keran who snaked an arm around Alistair's waist and braced the other knights arm around his shoulder.

For just a moment his alcohol-soaked brain told him it was a good idea to walk up those stairs and check every room just to see if she was here. But as quickly as he thought it Alistair banished the thought. She would only lie to him again. Then her and Cailan would have another good laugh at poor naïve Alistair.

Maneuvering the six-foot Knight in full Templar armor was proving to be a challenge for the recruits. The door wasn't large enough for them to go through it together. Keran would need to propel Alistair through and catch him on the other side.

His partner Juris had the same idea. He would catch the knight and Juris would push. They hadn't thought the plan completely through because if it hadn't been for Darragh catching the former Warden he and Keran would be on their faces in front of the tavern door.

Cullen stepped around Alistair and Keran offering his hand to the Ash Warrior. "I am indebted to you for your help good sir."

"No thanks necessary. Just make sure he sleeps it off. And stays away from the bottle. He will be better in the morning."

There was something about the man that made Cullen slightly uncomfortable. He had noticed the feeling when talking to the Ash Warrior the first time. But thought it was just the mention of the Grey Wardens that sent warning bells.

But now he had too much to do. Tomorrow was another story. Better yet maybe he could have Hawke check into him. The man had helped in with the blood mage infiltration. And after all it wasn't officially templar business so he couldn't officially do it himself.

"I see you have another hound. Is this one a stray?"

"No. The Corso is mine. The Mabari as I said earlier belongs to a … a friend. Good night, Knight Captain. I trust your travels to the Gallows will be uneventful."

Darragh stepped around the four Templars and went inside the tavern. He needed to check on a different heartbroken warden.

Across the street in the darkened doorway a hooded man and his partner watched the interchange with interest. His intent to intercept the party was interrupted by the appearance of the Templar. He nodded his head and his companion slipped away, completely unnoticed by either the Ash Warrior or Templars. He would watch the mark until it was time to make their move.

Cullen watched the warrior with narrowed eyes before motioning the two recruits forward. He still had things at the Gallows to care for, but tomorrow, that was different.

On the bed Alistair snored… loudly. In fact, Cullen could estimate how much ale Alistair drank based on how much the other man snored. There were days since his friend had come to town, he regretted billeting with the man.

It didn't help that many here thought Alistair and he shared quarters and a bed. In fact they did share a bed but there was nothing romantic about it. The first week he put Alistair with the other knights the Grey Warden woke troop of knights with his nightmares, making them completely useless and drawing Meredith's wrath for the first time. It wasn't as if Alistair did it on purpose, but it didn't help that he was completely wasted.

It was just easier that their nightmares kept each other company. That and he could minimize the exposure to the Knight Commander and keep his friend out of some trouble.

Alistair had promised him the whole story but, in the year, they had been together in Kirkwall he was still scratching the surface.

He knew Rhiannon had hurt him by keeping his brother's identity secret and traveling all over Ferelden with the King. And of course, finding out his brother faked his death and lied to him for a year before humiliating Alistair was betrayal enough. But he didn't think that was what kept his brother in arms returning to the oblivion of a drunken stupor night after night.

He just hoped he could help Alistair get over it because it was destroying him little by little. Maybe it was time to reach out to Ferelden for help. No one had come looking for him yet but he wondered if that was because they didn't know where Alistair was and not because they didn't want him.

Cullen had been thinking about her recently with her twenty birthday a fortnight ago. He'd listened to enough of the rumors to know they gave her an Arling in Amaranthine. She was now the head of all Grey Wardens in Ferelden. And that she was the king's mistress. He wondered if time had allowed for her to forgive him.

Maybe he should ask Alistair. Maybe the three of them could fix each other.


	48. Games

Kanta48: The Maker is still looking out for Alistair. More about the hooded men coming.. soon. Rhiannon was two months shy of 18 birthday at beginning of Blight. Thank you for your comment and for favoriting the story. My Spanish speaking guest: may I have your name so I can thank you?

* * *

Darragh ignored Corff on his way up the stairs who grumbled about more dogs in the tavern. He passed Nora and requested a drink. He also informed her that he was having a vendor deliver food in a while. if she would bring up it when it came there would be additional coin.

"She wins again. How can you uphold the honor of the dwarves? If you are constantly allowing her to win," Hawke said tossing his cards on the pile of coins in the center of the table. His tone was gruff, but the grin said he was joking.

I snorted and chuckled which came out something like a sick braying donkey. I looked down and took a deep breath. I hadn't laughed like that in a while. Maybe I was too much at ease. I looked up and noticed Darragh had rejoined us brining Enid with him. I quirked an eyebrow and he shook his head. Meaning that he would tell me later.

"Actually, he stopped trying to let me win by the fifth game. I guess he finally figured out I didn't have any tells."

Varric sighed. He'd lost fifteen gold sovereigns tonight. Fenris lost five, which he would barrow from Hawke. Which would make Hawke's total losses twelve gold. Only Bethany fared better but that was because she'd bowed out early.

"I should have told you I played at least two hands every night for a year and a half. And for three months against a Noble Hunter. Well former Noble Hunter anyways."

"What is a noble hunter?" Bethany naively asked.

I could tell Fenris and Hawke had no idea. I looked at the dwarf in the room who was technically the person to explain it. And he looked as if he couldn't decide how to keep it polite. I figured since I brought it up, I should say especially since I didn't want to know how Alton would describe the profession.

"They are dwarven women who by human standards sell themselves to have a nobleman's child. Og says they wouldn't think of asking for payment, but he'd never seen one turn down a gift."

"Oh." Bethany said softly.

"It's all right Sunshine. It's a Noble profession, pun intended. The birth rate among the dwarves is declining and we need more babies to send off to fight the Darkspawn. Now Ona, where would you come across a Noble hunter to get this good?"

Chuckling I said, "you have met my escort, right? The Ash Warrior. Part time watch dog, full time dwarven taught berserker. Now no more questions unless it's about the refugees."

"I think a new game is in order," Fenris grumbled.

"Wicked Grace?"

I'd never heard of the game. "Alton, do you know it?"

He grinned.

"Any good?"

If his smile got any larger, he wouldn't have room for the rest of his face. "Good. Then you can play for us. It's not a game I was taught."

"Now that sounds like a fine idea," Varric agreed thrilled for the chance to get some of his coin back.

"Can we change something though?"

"You don't know the game, but you want to change the rules. If there was any doubt you were noble, then there is none now." Fenris sneered.

I looked at the other members in the room to see if his comment bothered them. No one even seemed to pay any attention to the bitterness in the elf's voice. I wasn't quite sure what put it there. Being a stranger, winning, or something I needed to find out about. "Actually… I wasn't suggesting changing the game rules. I don't know the rules to change it. I was talking about the wagering and payment for the game."

I had both Hawke's and Varric's attention. "Alton is going to play using my coin. If any of you guys win, you take the pot. If Alton wins however, I want information as payment."

Varric, Hawke and Fenris exchanged glances and shrugged. It worked out if there was a chance to get some of their gold back. Who were they to argue with someone who was willing to give away her gold? They were going to get the better end of the deal.

"Agreed."

"Fine."

"Wait Garret, that's not fair. You can't take advantage of her like that. She or her men get nothing out of that. Win or lose they get nothing. What if we all answer a question each round?"

I quirked and eyebrow and my lips turned downward as I flattened my face. Bethany hadn't been a reckless gambler. There had to be something, or she was just good at heart. "What is the catch?"

"The first to fold."

Question answered. She was one of those people who were simply good. Someone I stopped being long ago. I wondered if she might help me when they got back from the deep roads. It was obvious that she was a mage from the staff on her back. And the idea was a good one. Good enough I wanted to borrow it. "I like that. Can I take it back home with me?"

Alton who played games of chance regularly and with Oghren when the dwarf wasn't playing with me groaned and said, "Say no, please." He put his hands over his heart and gave her sad eyes for emphasis.

Bethany giggled and nodded her head. "I don't usually play. But the boys do. I don't think they'd mind."

"Good. Then for the first question. I was told the Ferelden people had to bribe their way into the city. Who made the profit on that?"

The answer came swiftly without anyone having to fold by three male voices simultaneously. "The Templars."

My jaw clenched. Fade take them. But I wasn't surprised at Templars taking advantage of people for their own gain.


	49. Information for Sale

**Judy**: Thanks, **Oscar**: Agreed about Bethany. Tonight a little subdued. She'll open up a bit. Thanks for the comment. Kanta: A little of both. Because the next time the meet... And there is a comment about Meredith closing down the city when you try to enter after leaving Ferelden. **fanf1ct1onfanat1c: **welcome and thank you for following the story** Aquilia: **Oh Cully Wully the torment we put him through.

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We played two more rounds with Hawke the first to fold. Varric demanded his most embarrassing moment. Which was to admit chasing after Carver in nothing but his smalls after his little brother caught him with Peaches.

When Fenris folded Hawke demanded to know what the elf did all day alone in the big old house. Fenris admitted he danced in all the rooms of the abandoned mansion. I wasn't sure if he was joking or not. By, the looks on thier faces I wasn't sure if anyone else knew either.

We were six hands in, and I was getting a feel for how much power this Meredith wielded and how ineffectual the Viscount was.

The more I heard the more I wondered if a clash was inevitable. I wondered for just a moment if I should have come at the head of a Ferelden armada. But the refuges were a secondary problem and it wouldn't solve the Alistair situation.

Hawke's sarcasm when he explained how the Viscount ignored the problem hoping it would go away led me to asking how they got into the city.

As he told the story about his uncle arranging indentured service to pay the bribes the food Darragh had delivered to the Hanged Man had come. Nora hoping to interact with Alton again, but the Ash Warrior intercepted her taking the food and passing her a coin. With a frown and a backward glance, she left.

Gratefully I smiled as he handed me two pies. I took them and nodded my thanks. I gobbled the first one and passed one on to Teyrn who'd resumed his place at my feet.

And as Fenris told the story of coming over the mountains, I found a third pie stuffed in my hand. My seneschal couldn't have chosen better.

Four hours later I had finished Alton's and Darragh's portion of food and two more glasses of wilder wine. I was versed in all things Kirkwall including the Coterie, Brekker's mercenary affiliation. I just needed to find out which warehouse he called his home base.

I was in for a surprise Hawke and his companions knew Anders. Listening to Bethany talk about his clinic I found out a little about both mages. They didn't say much but what they did told me there was something wrong with my runaway warden. Maybe that was why he left.

Hawk's comments told me he was aware Anders was a former Grey Warden. And that he was traveling with them in the deep roads. I would have to wait to check on him until they got back. In the meantime, I would investigate this clinic.

"Forgive me gentleman and Bethany. I've had a long day. We enjoyed the drink and companionship, but we've not found an opportunity to get lodging after arriving in Kirkwall this afternoon. We must be off to find somewhere to stay. And while your tavern keeper allowed the hounds while we visited, I don't think he will be as accommodating for us to stay the night."

"Hawke do you think Dasiy..."

"All of them in Merrill's tiny house in the Alienage? Won't humans attract unwanted attention to her?" Bethany asked reminding them of Merrill's situation.

I found myself drawn to her. She was thoughtful and soft where her brother was brash and larger than life. Hawke drew you in and Bethany kept you. They almost reminded me of our motley group during the blight.

I wanted to tell them we could find somewhere. One of the tavern owners would want gold more than they didn't want hounds on their property. But sometimes it was better just to let the locals give a hand.

The lesson my escorts were trying to teach me this afternoon had given me pause. It was the first time in almost two years that I didn't have be the one with all the answers.

Hawke rubbed his bearded chin thoughtfully and said, "I would offer. But we are living in a hovel that is too small for my uncle much less us and the five of you."

"What about Broody? He has that huge mansion up in High Town all by himself."

Darragh frowned as Hawke, Fenris and Varric got up and walked to the far side of the room. It was only natural for them to discuss the idea between themselves. But the elf was an unknown.

He knew Rhiannon could care for herself, but everyone including his hero, could have an off day.

Jaleal's brother said Varric didn't have any stone sense but of the two brothers he was the real head of the house and was as honorable as the warrior caste. And he would have to trust that.

"I think if they suggest you stay with the elf you and Alton should." Darragh said leaning over and speaking in hushed tones.

"What?" I hissed.

"I promised the family I would lend a blade in the deep roads. They were four men short of a full party. Which leaves just Alton to be your eyes and watch your back. If you stayed in the upper part of town where the lords and ladies live would leave you less likely to need magic."

"Or since you are still three men short, we, Alton and I can help."

I didn't miss the look that passed between my two men and I could imagine what they were thinking. But me I wasn't sure why I volunteered, avoiding Alistair, worry about Anders or desire to know more about the secretive Darragh.

"Your offer is appreciated, but no. You're a known figure among the dwarves. You crowned the King, saved his older brother, and saw two paragons to their deaths. If you were a dwarf, they would have made you a living paragon."

Alton added his opinion. "Besides, you came to Kirkwall to get the prince and bring the people home. You can't do that running around Darkspawn tunnels adding to your kill count. Staying with the elf might not be a bad idea."

I felt like a child being pasted back and forth between two parents that didn't want her. Although I didn't relish staying in a tavern that smelled like Darkspawn tunnels.

I had just left the deep roads. And I had stayed with strangers before. In all honesty since the blight my life had been a parade of strangers. It would get me an opportunity to seek the highborn who were trying to help. But I felt as if I was losing control with everyone else deciding for me.

"All right. But this is my only concession. Because your family is important, Darragh. I expect you not to get killed down there. I would feel better if Oghren were going with you."

"Anders will be there. That's how they got the Grey Warden maps that allowed for this expedition. He stole them from Stroud. His Wardens are in the area."

"Really. I might look up Jean Marc and let him know what we are planning. Stay close to Anders and at least you will have a little warning before the Darkspawn attack. May the ancestors protect you."

"Promise me you will not become reckless while I am gone. I don't want to come back and find Alton has gone to the Maker and you need rescuing from the Gallows.

I grinned evilly tormenting my escort who just closed his eyes and groaned, reminding me of Duncan trying to reign in Aedan, Alistair, and I. With a grin and a shrug, I agreed to not go looking for trouble, allowing him a small measure of peace.

"What of our waif and her family?" I asked looking at Enid.

"Iona demanded an apology and Pietro to explain to his wife that he made her whore herself because she wouldn't lie with him. He refused. She then wanted me to make him. I told her nothing could force a man to say something he had no intention of saying. She decided to try and make him. I wasn't going to allow her to be beaten in front of her children."

"Is he still breathing?"

"More or less."

I shrugged thinking the man deserved nothing less, "Where is the family now?"

"I took the children to stay with Amalie. Iona disappeared. I imagine she felt she had to go back to earning a living the hard way. I made Whitney promise to stay there until either you or I came to get her. She didn't want to stay without her mother, but I convinced her for her little sister's sake."

I sighed knowing you couldn't save someone who didn't want to be saved. But that didn't mean I wouldn't try again to reason with Iona. "Should I go check on them tomorrow?"

"No. Give it three or four days. Get some traction with the refuges and then look in on her. I explained the situation. Amalie will keep them occupied."

We had finished our conversation but Varric, Hawke and Fenris had not. Something Hawke said cause Bethany to leave the group and go stand over by the fireplace. Alton noticed too. He walked over to her and started speaking in low tones. Soon I could hear her giggling over the crackling of the fire and wondered if Alton had a new victim.


	50. The Gambit

Welcome ladyluck278. Thank you for following the story. I hope you continue to enjoy. ****I missed an update last week so there will be two this week. My apologies life is somewhat chacotic right now.****

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Varric noted Hawke's body language as he turned to survey the laughing couple. The warrior watched with narrowed eyes and clenched hands, as if he expected trouble. "Relax Hawke, he means Sunshine no harm. Besides if you hadn't told her you were leaving her here, he wouldn't be over there cheering her up."

When Garret exhaled it sounded if he had pushed all the air out of his body through clenched teeth. He was in one of those situations where he was damned either way. "My mother is afraid that if Bethany goes into the Deep Roads, we will lose her like we did Carver. I have either Bethany upset with me or mother. Bethany will get over it easier than mother will. She doesn't even want to go but Bethany is terrified about getting caught by the Templars."

"Sunshine is right to be worried. I feel sorry for the Mages in there. But don't tell blondie. He already dominates every conversation with mage injustice." Varric said with a shrug. "Have you thought about our new friend?"

"Can we trust them?"

Varric chuckled. "Are you just sore they won the majority of games tonight and then refused to take our money?"

"That didn't feel like a set up to you?"

"Obliviously they felt they didn't need it. She said they came for the stories and the ale; the game was for fun. There is something more too them than what they are saying. Their arrival was too quiet. She says she is titled, but she acts common born."

Fenris frowned thinking about the woman they met tonight. She was a walking contradiction. Generous with her coin but not frivolous. Claiming nobility but not petty and coy. Alleging leadership but allowing her men to make decisions. "I think she bears watching. I don't believe her agenda. Nobility has little interest in refugees."

Hawke shrugged glancing at the woman speaking in hushed tones to the Ash Warrior. "Actually, I think that is the only thing she is telling us the truth about. Fenris, while we are in the Deep Roads, I want you to watch her. I want to know her real purpose in Kirkwall. And if our meeting was as much of a chance as it appeared to be."

"My money is on her being truthful. When I talk to her, I get the same feeling when talking to you. Both of you are…" Varric paused looking for the right words. "First did you know she is on a first name bases with your king and mine?"

"Explain?" Fenris said. He was still thinking about the fact Hawke said he wasn't going with them to the Deep Roads.

"She said they weren't going to place 'Cailan' in danger again. She caught herself and added the title. But then she was talking about weapons and specifically called my king and paragon by their given names no title. Either she didn't notice it or chose not to correct herself."

"Your leaving me behind because you think she will tell me?" Fenris asked.

Hawke sighed and raked his fingers through short dark hair. "No I am leaving you because I can only take so many before Bertram doesn't allow us to tag along. Gold or no gold. And with Bethany here I am not leaving Sebastian behind. I don't need him duty bound reporting an apostate. I am leaving you here to protect them and while you are protecting her... well we did offer them to stay with you."

A wry chuckle escaped Fenris. "And if she tries to kill me?"

"Don't worry Broody. She doesn't strike me as that type. Besides, I think the sword is for show. You probably have to worry more about her men."

"Unless it's his virtue," Garret said with a chuckle.

Fenris coughed uncomfortably.

"Now Hawke, why would you torment Broody like that. You don't even know that she likes elves. She is traveling with two humans."

"Look at her. She is a comely wench traveling alone with two men unchaperoned. Admitting to strangers she lost her clothes in a card game. And talking about prostitutes. If we weren't leaving, I might find out…"

"Then I suggest you do not have her stay with me. I have no interest in being another nobleman's toy." Fenris said interrupting Hawke.

"Call it a dwarf's intuition but you have nothing to worry about. She will stay with you. Probably let you follow her around for the use of your blade. But I don't think you will get anything more than that from her."

"I'll take that bet Varric."

"I knew you would. And I will be happy to take your money."

As Hawke and Fenris made their way back to the table Hawke looked over his shoulder at the dwarf grabbing another bottle of ale and said, "Use every skill you have to get the information and I will split the winnings with you"

Fenris laughed at the competitive nature of the duo. "That's a seventy- thirty split for me since I am doing all the work and putting my virtue in danger?"

"Sixty-forty. You'll get the other ten percent laying with the girl." Hawke heard the elf scoff and tried to keep the grin off his face. Even if the girl didn't try anything which he doubted. Fenris needed to loosen up.

"Ona, Fenris is staying in a mansion up in High Town owned by the magister who kept him as a slave. He is hoping to ambush the man. If you stay, there you might have to watch out for the Guard. Aveline, a guardswoman tries to head off any investigations. Are you alright with that?"

I groaned a little at this recent development. It would have been easier just to find a spot in Darktown. But that would probably require defending myself and running into trouble with Templars.

Most of the time I tried to obey the laws especially since I was supposed to be upholding it at the Vigil. But being a Grey Warden meant I broke as many as it took to get the job done. And technically I was still dealing with the blight. "I think we can manage. We will be out and about most of the time so it shouldn't affect us too much."

"And if that doesn't work there is always the power of gold," Alton suggested.

I shrugged Cailan had given me extra to deal with bribes. I was sure he wouldn't mind me using a little for securing a place to stay. "Could you direct Alton, Teyrn and I. Darragh will stay elsewhere for a while."

Darragh set his ale on the table and stood to join us. Enid at his heals and Teyrn at mine. He would follow us to the mansion, for future reference and then make his way to the dwarven compound to leave with them in the morning.


	51. The Cloaked Man

Thank you Judy for your comment

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The cloaked figure watched the Templars stumble their way north toward the stairs that led to High Town. He wanted them far enough ahead that a casual glance backward would not give him away.

He followed the chantry fellows his leather boots making no sound on the worn Low Town cobblestones. His outline melting into the shadows.

The lithe figure darted from one darkened doorway to the next. Once he put the Templars to bed, so to speak, he would return to the Hanged Man to watch and wait for a little while.

His patience was all but rewarded tonight with her appearance. The pieces of his plan coming together finally. Satisfied he sent his companion off to let his employer that things were on back on track. He had no doubt in the game afoot. Working events towards his advantage sometimes required him to nudge the players in the right direction.

As he figured, nothing interesting happened to the Templar group before they made it to their destination. The monstrosity of the prison building racked his athletic body with an involuntary shiver. Even as a non-mage, the place intimidated him.

He wasn't close enough to the group that he could hear what was said by the blond knight but from his body language, he could guess he was giving orders.

That suited him fine. He would have them tucked into bed and out of the way until tomorrow when he could deal with them properly. He waited to leave until armored men made it beyond the gated threshold; the drunk had a terrible habit of wandering away and getting himself into trouble.

Satisfied he turned from his doorway vantage point and stepped out on to the street. There was no need to hide in the shadows. From his own body of work, he knew hiding made the criminals wandering the street more daring. He'd already had to dispatch several who thought him an easy mark.

When he returned from to his doorway across from the Hanged Man, his companion had returned and taken up lookout duty until he returned.

"Are they back at the Gallows?"

"Ah yes. No stops, no women or men, all very dull."

"Such a shame," the brunette offered clucking his tongue in sympathy. "I had a drink to make sure they were still there. From what I could see they were all in the back room getting cozy for a while. They were playing some game. But while we wait, you don't have to be dull."

The cloaked figure frowned. Last night a hurried fumble and sated passions would have excited him. He might even have been the one to suggest it. His companion was charming enough. And the warm hand stroking his thigh had piqued his interest. But tonight, it just felt sordid.

He placed his hand on the man's toned back and allowed his fingers to trace his spine to his delectable butt. He let his hand linger there for several moments before patting it gently. "A tumble in the dark with our breaths entwined sounds like fun my friend but alas I cannot. Maybe tomorrow when we finish this. You and I can find a room and we can make a day of it."

The man sighed dramatically as if he was told no period and not just for the moment. "Very well then, I must wait until tomorrow. Maybe it's just as well. He wants to see you."

The two men stood in silence for the next hour watching the establishment. Assuming they had gotten rooms, he pushed himself off the wall. "Let's go see what the fellow wants."

It was a short walk to the warehouse, and private dock rented to his employer. He stealthily slipped in past the two guards at the door. They would have let him in if he had identified himself, but he was avoiding Sayban. The woman was fancying herself in love with him, and that would not do.

She was a delightful distraction and source of information on his employers. But his heart was still too broken to allow for anything more than a dalliance.

He nimbly bounded up the stairs to the second level avoiding the flimsy leg-hold traps. Standing in the doorway of the brightly lit room he watched in disgust Trajan practice his craft.

The Tevinter Magister was one of the more despicable people he'd dealt with and in his long career he had worked with plenty like him. He was standing over some small thing tied to a chair covered in blood and mewling. He didn't know what the person had done to earn such punishment, but he was tempted to loosen a dagger at his chest to stop their torture. True torture was an art not this barbarianism.

Instead, he cleared his throat and stepped into the room. "Forgive me for interrupting but you summoned me."

"You." Trajan accused.

The hood of his cowl covered his face not allowing the Magister to see the wicked smile that played on pouty lips. Leaning against the jam of the door he taunted Trajan. "Here I am."

"Do not bait me, you worthless excuse for …" Trajan gathered his calm. It wouldn't do to get angry and kill the help before he finished the job. Then he would take immense pleasure in killing him. "I must admit I am surprised you answered the summons. But since you are here alone, I assume you failed again. I'd have thought you would have run away in shame from all the unsuccessful attempts."

The cloaked figure tilted back his head and laughed gleefully. "My dear fellow, failure is not an option for the Crows. I said I would get you your Warden and I will."

"Then why is it not done? You've had months. And all I must take back to my Master is excuses. I thought the Crows were the best..."

"The Crows are the best. As assassins. But you want your prey alive. The rules and methods we have used in the past do not work. You demanded no one be aware of your target's disappearance. Which we will accomplish tomorrow with your help. The trap is ready to go I just need the diversion supplied by your mages."

"This better work. Or I will kill you and wipe out the entire house Valisti when your Prince comes to explain why the job is taking as long as it has."

Trajan wasn't aware how much that comment pleased the hooded figure. Claudio would die for his crimes, and he would see that it happened. It was the second reason he took the job when he found out about the contract. He had not planned to deal with the Crow first but would not turn down an offered gift.

"Then it is good that he is coming. You can give him the gold personally after your men do their job. Just make sure with their magic they don't kill anyone."

"My mages will do their job. You just do yours."

The cloaked man laughed to himself and admitted to himself how much doing his job would please him. And turned to leave without another word.


	52. The Mansion

**Judy & Oscar(?) **thanks for the comments. I am glad you are finding it interesting.

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"Thank you for allowing me to come and stay in your home. I appreciate especially it since you do not know me."

"It was not my choice. Hawke suggested you would have difficulty finding somewhere your hound is accepted. He said that since I was 'squatting' as he put it, I could share with you and your escorts."

"Very well. Alton and I shall find other accommodations. Inns don't like Mabari but with enough coin Teyrn will be accepted. We didn't mean to impose."

"That is…" Fenris paused. "I have been alone for several years before coming to Kirkwall and have not practiced general niceties. I sometimes forget polite behaviors. You are not imposing, and your team is right Lowtown is no place for a noble woman. Warrior or not."

Standing there in the library with a small cot and a lute being the only evidence of his living here, I understood. Those few months after slaying the Archdemon, I was like a ghost. Then on my travel to and back from Weishaupt, I wasn't much better.

I spent a month traveling with a Warden and we didn't speak two words. And when we returned, it was all snarls and ranting tirades. I was surprised six months later, that Stroud was still talking to me and even considered me a friend.

"I have been there myself. At first, the quiet gets to you. Then suddenly you come to a town and you can't get your business done and get out of there fast enough because it's too noisy."

Fenris chuckled in either agreement or understanding.

Several minutes passed as we both just stood there. I didn't want to be rude and just assume he was one man and all the other rooms were available.

I was feeling awkward in the silence. Was I supposed to keep up the act of the helpless maiden? How much could I trust this man and what did Darragh see in him that suggested I would be better off here than by myself? "Well then…"

"Yes?"

"Is there a particular place I'm supposed to put my stuff?"

"Oh. Yes, just take a bedroom or one of the other rooms. They are pretty much in the same rundown condition."

"As long as there is a bath, roof and a bed I am happy. Teyrn and I need very little space."

Fenris followed me out of the library and down the hall, keeping a safe distance from Teyrn and said, "A bath, then a roof and then a bed? Your priorities seem a little skewed."

We had come to the first bedroom on the same floor as the library. The room was a decent size with a large bed in the center. I looked down at the hound and asked, "Well? What do you think?"

While Teyrn sniffed the room and jumped on the bed. I studied the man…elf in front of me. I was curious about him. That was the other reason I agreed to this arrangement. The only exposure I had with elves outside of the Tower were Zevran, the few in the alienage and the Dalish.

"What can I say? He's the fussy one. I just want a place I can get clean. And sleep, where water doesn't drip on my head."

Fenris scoffed and shook his head. "You're letting your dog pick where you sleep? You Ferelden's and your dogs. Do you know how peculiar you are?"

I grinned at Teyrn's antics of rolling on his back and twisting back and forth in the bedding. "Actually, we do. It's funny how the rest of Thedas calls us dog lords as if it's a curse. To be like the Mabari is something we aspire to be. Our hound's loyalty is to the death. And to earn the trust of our Mabari is a mark of honor even for the poorest Ferelden."

"I had not thought of that. Do you know that it's said Tevinter Magisters bread them? And they defected during the Imperium's invasion of Ferelden."

Teyrn was busy still rooting in the bed when I placed the pack on the floor next to the small chest. I would need a few things at the bazar. Namely, bedding and something to wear that wouldn't call attention to the fact I was a grey warden. "Yes. I had heard that legend. One of my previous traveling companions was a Qunari."

Teyrn barked happily, wagging his grey stump of a tail.

Fenris smiled and said, "Exactly so. I rather like the idea they found the barbarians more… palatable than the mages."

I frowned at the way he said 'mages.' It caused me to shiver. There was no love lost there. I wondered if it was an annoyance or an outright dislike. "I take it from your tone, you don't like mages."

"And I imagine by your question you do."

A slight grin tugged at my corner of my lip at the turn of the question. "I have known a few that weren't that bad. And few that were stupid. They are like all other people. Some good, some bad. Mages are not the only beings who are stupid, week or ambitious. They are just the only ones singled out for it."

"There is a point to that."

I picked up my bag. I had a feeling this wasn't the place I should be staying. He clearly had a problem with magic, and I could not keep that quiet with someone I lived with. "Come, Teyrn. Let's find Alton. Thank you again for the generous offer to stay. But I think it might be better if I stay... a little closer to my team."

I had taken the elf by surprise. I am not sure if he expected me to argue the point. He stood up straighter, confusion etched into the lines around his eyes.

"You don't have to leave because we disagree about magic. Unless you're a mage."

I bowed slightly and said, "I hope whoever harmed you have paid for their mistake. I wish you a good life."

"Wait! I.. I did not intend to insult you or mages you may know. I was a slave in the Tevinter imperium. As a slave to a magister, I watched the suffering and evil they cause daily. My former master branded me with lyrium."

I wasn't sure what to say to him that didn't sound self-serving or a useless platitude. Sometimes I thought the same of Templars. Especially after the Circle.

But I had met good ones, too. Ser Otto was a good example. So was Cullen before the abominations and annulment. Maybe by my actions I could show him not all mages were terrible, just his perceptions. "I extremely sorry for what you must have endured. No living being, not mage, king, or thief has the right to do that to another person. Cruelty is cruelty no matter who gives it or receives it."

"Does this..."

"Mean I will stay? Yes. I am sure Hawke wants you to find out more about me. And if I leave, you must take to stalking me to get your answers. And while I can't say that having a charming elf be that attentive wouldn't be good for my ego, it wouldn't help our relationship. This room is fine. Teyrn and I appreciate it. We shall see you in the morning."

Fenris cleared his throat uncomfortably. She differed from any woman he could remember meeting. "Then I will leave you to sleep. Your man, Alton, said he would be here when he finished his tasks."

I watched him walk away, wondering what lesson I was to learn from him being inserted into my life. I promised myself I would think about it tomorrow as I blew out the flame and undressed for bed.


	53. Darragh Has a Secret

**Judy: **Awesome and faithful as ever. Thanks for the comment. **Gemini Sage: **Thanks. I agree. Now that you have found part 2 I hope you enjoy. **Oscar or other spanish guest:** Fenris reminds me of a wounded animal. He lashes out with nothing but magic to direct his anger too. And I agree his rants were over the top but no more than Sebastians or Anders. **Dree66: **Welcome and I hope you are enjoying the story.

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He wouldn't trade Enid for all the lyrium dust in the dwarven kingdom, but tonight he wished she were a Mabari. The war hound was better suited for the task ahead of them.

He would have taken care of this errand earlier while he had both hounds if the situation with Iona and her girls was different.

Maybe this incident was more proof that he needed to allow the Maker or the Ancestors to show him the path they wanted for him. He never intended to return to Kirkwall, and yet he was the first to volunteer to come with Rhiannon when she traveled across the sea.

Bidding his hero farewell this evening was harder than he imagined. She asked questions after she found him at the Vigil. And he'd put her off the scent by telling her that his quest was the King of Ferelden and she saved him. He would now serve her.

Not happy about becoming his personal quest, she offered to make him a Warden.

He and the five men he commanded refused as there was a glory to being a Warden, especially now in the blight's aftermath. As Ash Warriors, they forbid you to accept coin or glory for your skills or victories.

Having little choice, she accepted his reasoning and allowed him to stay. Her compromise was that he and his men would train the warriors and wardens at the Vigil as with the skills of Ash Warriors.

His men readily accepted the assignment as the Keep was severely under-manned and there was a new type of Darkspawn terrorizing the land.

He still hadn't told her the truth. Not why he dedicated his life to her, or the reason he was leaving tonight instead of tomorrow.

While he intended to make his destination his dwarven family, he had someone he needed to see first. Hopefully, his bribes got him what who wanted.

Arriving at the gates of the prison, Darragh was challenged by the same guard he had made the deal with hours ago. "Who goes there?"

"Leith," Darragh said, the name sounding foreign after all these years.

"Ah Leith, my friend. Do you have the gold?"

Darragh tossed him a partial bag of coins. "Half now, half after I talked to the prisoner and I am back outside the gates free."

"I am hurt you don't trust me," the prison guard scoffed.

A tight smile pulled at Darragh's haggard face. "Now don't be like that. Think of it more as insurance. Insurance that I talk to the right person and am not forgotten inside."

"We wouldn't forget you inside, would we," the guard said, ribbing Darragh. Turning to the guard standing on the opposite wall, he said, "Watch and sound the alarm if I am not back in an hour. Assume he is here for a prison break."

"Yes Serah."

Darragh followed the beefy man through the portcullis with Enid close on his heals. The prison was dim with torches on the wall and braziers at intervals providing the only light.

The smell was worse than even the most disgusting Darkspawn caves, including the children's hatcheries. Stale urine, vomit and death reeked horribly enough that even Enid sneezed several times for relief.

"This is a far as you go. I will get him while you wait here. Be warned, I've posted twenty guards outside the door. So, if this is a jail break…." He guffawed, making his threat clear.

Darragh didn't dignify that with an answer. He would be more likely to plunge a blade into the bastard than help him escape. But he would allow them to worry. Maybe that was why the priest at the alter kept sending furtive looks in his direction.

Fifteen minutes passed. A nervous feeling found a hold in his confidence, enough that Enid lifted her large head and watched as he paced the floor. There was always a chance the guard would double cross him and keep the gold.

The sounds of clanking chains and shuffling feet let him know they were brining someone to meet him. Now to see if his gold bought him the truth or a fraud. He stepped behind the statue to watch and wait. If they brought the right man, it wouldn't do for him to recognize Darragh first.

He watched as the guard brought a man in tattered clothing into the room by pulling on the chains on his wrists. He scrutinized the inmate, noticing what twenty years in confinement did to a man. Darragh shuddered, knowing that without the Ash Warriors it would have been his fate.

The guard pushed the unkempt man into a pew with the command to behavior or get a beating.

With little fear of authority the man arranged himself as much as his chains allowed to look nonchalant and said, "relax boss, I know I would never make to the front door."

The guard slapped the mans feet propped on the pew in front of him onto the floor, not caring for the blatant disregard for rules. This caused the prisoner to sit up straight and behave. "I didn't want you to get any ideas with your visitor."

The tone was full of contempt and the glare was baleful as he mockingly said, "Yes, because suddenly after twenty years there are people lining up to help me escape. Maker knows this is my first visitor in seven years. Speaking of visitors, where is this man who paid you good money to see me?"

Darragh stepped out from behind the statue of Andraste motioning for Enid to stay. If the hound wasn't a Mabari people underestimated the dog. Being out of sight, out of mind would help the surprise factor if they wound up needing it.

"I was getting bored, so I thought a little light reading was in order. The statues have such fascinating dedication plaques."

"My visitor is a scholar and a jester. But that doesn't answer why you would want to see me. Or who you are."

Darragh leaned casually against the support pillar and clicked his tongue. "It couldn't be your stimulating personality, could it? No. Truthfully, this was about making sure you were still where you belonged. And offering to pay them for giving you the royal treatment."

"Oh, I am touched. You spent gold to check on my health and happiness. Let me guess, my smuggling affected you," the prisoner snapped bitterly.

Darragh examined the dirt under his nails, giving the appearance he wasn't here to watch the man squirm. "What smuggling, Damian? You couldn't find a corpse on a battlefield, much less move it without being seen by blind men. You're innocent."

The guard was watching the men with interest. When one of Ferelden's soldiers came and asked to see Lord Astrid's grandson, he was more than a little curious. At first, he didn't believe the man just wanted to see with his own eyes that Amell was still in custody. There was talk about him gathering power from inside the prison and swaying the nobles into believing he'd been framed.

So, he took a chance and accepted the bribe. And now it looked as if they have framed the lord after all. He'd watch a bit more before deciding on going to the Dungeon Capitan.

Damian clicked his tongue against his teeth, making a sucking sound. "You wouldn't be one of Cotire, would you? Is this some scheme to get me to support one of your factions? Cause if that was your offer of friendship, you need to learn some diplomacy skills."

"Damian you should know the only diplomacy I know is at the end of my blade. I could careless what faction you offer your support to. I do however want to know how you, a pathetic excuse for a pasty, got enough power to think someone wants your help."

The self-satisfied smirk slipped as anger replaced arrogance. "Rotten Maggot spawn, who are you?"

"Twenty years. And you lost your memory. Are you too old to forget the man that framed you, for smuggling?."

The priest coughed in surprise. She had many years as a priest serving convicts inside the prison. She thought she heard all the confessions. And after she thought about it for several moments, she realized that she probably had heard someone confess to framing others before. But never one so brazenly.

Damian lurched to his feet and started towards Darragh, only to be yanked back into his seat by the guard.

"You... you heard him. She heard him. You must release me. I'm innocent. He admitted to framing me."

Darragh sniggered. "Innocent… of smuggling. Absolutely, but smuggling was the only crime your inbreed bitch of a templar had no patience with. Well, that and being a mage. Your crimes were so much worse than smuggling. Your father's crime was just as vile. So, he needed to suffer as well. Having you locked up and him wasting away trying to free you. Was punishment."

"So, Leith still raising your brother's bastard because you fell in love with his whore." Damian said realizing who the man was.

For the first time in twenty years, Darragh found he couldn't harness the rage that made him a berserker and attacked the chained man. It was only the guard pulling him away that saved Damian's life.

Unfortunately for Damian with the guard holding Darragh Enid was free to channel her human's anger and maul the prisoner.

The last thing Damian heard as he lost consciousness was Darragh shouting that he had better watch his mouth as that 'whore' was his sister.


	54. A Mistake

**Judy- **thank you for the comment. **Ferrilsblood****\- **Welcome and thank you for favoriting this story. Also I want to thank the PMs that let me know the last chapter was confusing and choppy due to grammar, sentence structure, spelling. I did go back and clean that up. I appreciate you bringing that to my attention.

I know I owed a chapter for friending before this one... but I wasn't happy where I left the last chapter. Enjoy.

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Hearing Enid's growls pulled him out of his rage. He didn't want Damian to die. That would be too good for him. He stopped struggling against the guard and commanded Enid to break off the attack. He wasn't willing to lose her to his anger.

"Enid, leave it. Heal."

Several uniformed soldiers by this time had rushed into the room with weapons at the ready, hearing the commotion. Their surprise turned to confusion as their Sergeant was holding a man by both arms, weapons still sheathed and the prisoner on the ground bleeding.

"Wallis, get the mage. The prisoner needs healing. Parlan put some pressure on those wounds. I don't want him bleeding out before the mage gets here. He dies, it's your head on the chopping block."

"Serah," the man questioned.

"That's an order."

The man wasted no time in kneeling down and tried to help Damian by holding the alter cloth to the neck wounds.

The priest having returned from getting help watched as Sergeant Lyall push the man the prisoner identified as Leith onto a bench away from where Damian was being cared for. Her ire raised as they just turned the chapel into a place of bloodshed.

"What do you have to say for yourself and that mangey mutt? This is a house of worship to the Maker. If you were going to kill him the least, you could do was wait until you were out of this place. And you, Sergeant, why would you think this was a good place to handle such a meeting."

Darragh scoffed, he had no time for faith. One minute it seemed there was a maker, and he was interested. But more often than not he believed the priest when they said the Maker abandoned them. And if he was truly ignorant of what people's lives and he had gone, then there was no actual harm done.

"I had not come intending to kill him. In fact, I want him to live a long miserable life suffering as much as possible. You teach the Maker has abandoned us, so what does he care about a little blood on the floor."

Lyall heard the sharp intake of air at the man's blasphemy and wasn't bothered by it. It was the Priest's job to worry about souls. He had other concerns. The two men appeared to know each other. And from the dialogue, it almost sounded as if they were family.

Truth be told, he didn't care. And then there was admitting to framing the lord. In all honesty, he didn't care about that either. The decision to put him in prison was made long ago and was out of his hands. What he worried about was that Damian Amell was gathering support in prison, which meant contraband from somewhere. Which begged to answer was it that his men were turning a blind eye or were they assisting.

"Explain to me why you will not take his place," Lyall demanded, frustration clear in his voice.

"I'm not. I've committed no crime. I am not even a citizen of your country. My hound was reacting to my rage, which is what Ash Warriors train their dogs to do. It was an accident, nothing more."

Still frustrated at the man who had contempt for the maker in both words and actions spat, "Accident, my arse. A crime was committed. You by extension of your flea-bitten mutt assaulted the prisoner. Attempted murder at best. Framing him at worse. And let's not talk about your contempt for the Maker."

"Yes, but contempt for the Maker is not a crime. I am an Ash Warrior, I converted over to the dwarven worship of the stone when I completed my training."

Frustrated that she could not have him thrown into prison for denying the Maker she stomped her foot and turned to the Sergeant and said, "I demand you arrest him. If for nothing else, the framing of Lord Amell."

Darragh's shoulder was shaking with mirth. He really didn't have an issue with the chantry the way Rhiannon did. But he enjoyed foiling them for her when he could. "Did I really frame him for a crime he didn't commit? Or did I prey on a convicts two greatest desires, to pin his crime on someone else and pretend innocence. I am merely a man capitalizing on his greatest desire to torment him."

The priest just shook her head and threw her hands into the air when Sergeant Lyall showed no sign of arresting the reprobate and stomped off.

Lyall watched her go. Few had ever bested the Priest. She took her duty to the Maker seriously and expected everyone, prisoner, and guard alike to hear the chant daily in the small chapel. She would be on a tear now. But that was a concern for another time. "I will not ask you if you framed him. But I want to know, how important is it to you he stays locked behind these walls if he survives?"

"He'll survive. Enid rarely kills without orders, maim maybe. As for staying, He auctioned his little sister's virginity in a tavern to criminals and thugs. When she escaped that fate. He helped her father sell her into marriage to an Ativan merchant prince. They were not to survive the matrimonial bliss. When she escaped to Ferelden, he hunted her down and found out her child was a mage. He tried to sell the child to Tevinter slavers."

Lyall heard similar stories. Nobility often arranged marriages and a daughter's virginity was a prize for many men. But nothing about that was illegal. "Incidents like that happen all the time. So far you haven't told me anything that warrants him being locked up for life."

"He murdered his sister when she wouldn't come back to Kirkwall with him."

"The sister you were in love with. Your brother's wife?"

Darragh pulled himself out of that dark place he returned to night after night until the day he set up the Lord's nephew. The things he did to make sure Damian Amell went to prison would give him a cell right next to him. He lost his family, including a brother who entrusted his child to him. The child he considered his daughter and her mother. Damian's manipulation of the event was just as bad as if he killed Revka himself. This had been a mistake. He should have left well enough alone.

Choosing not to answer the question, he said, "he fled back to Kirkwall and the protections of being an Amell. He has the blood of four Templars. My parents and two others on his hands. He deserved worse than he got but at least there was some justice. You would do well to see he doesn't get the power to get out."

Lyall debated if this was the truth. There were parts he had no doubt about. There was also more to this story. But he doubted it had anything to do with his current problem. Deciding it would be more trouble to keep the warrior, he let him go. Something told him they would meet again, and this wasn't done.

He barked at the nearest soldier and demanded for her to escort him outside. He had a mess to clean up and an investigation to start. Fretting about some lone dog lord wanting revenge would have to wait. He watched the man and the dog go, wondering about how what just transpired would affect things in the grand scheme.


	55. A New Day

Forgive me. I had not intended it to be this long before I posted again. **savankala** welcome and thank you for following. I am glad you are enjoying it. **Kanta48 **Love your comments. Thank you. **Judy **Ever faithful thank you. **Oscar or my other Spanish speaking guest **yes he is her uncle as a spoiler he had lost track of her in the tower. **Natalia-Courtney** I hope so. the pace should pick up a little more from here on out. Now on to the story.

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_ 9:32_ **Dragon** _20 _**Guardian** – Fenris' Mansion

I woke to Teyrn's low growl of warning to the figure standing in the doorway. From the outline, I could tell it was the elf. He glowed blue in the darkness, contrasting with the vivid white of his hair. In hands was a broadsword.

It surprised me. This was the last thing I expected from the elf after last night's conversation. I didn't figure him for that kind of male. And absolutely not until after his friends who vouched for him left on their mission. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I offered a warning.

I cleared my throat and said, "As a word of advice, Teyrn has a body count of thousands. He maybe a hound, but he is the equivalent of twelve seasoned warriors. If you have illusions, I will be an easy kill, I suggest you rethink that. And if it's a bedding, you had in mind; I would reconsider that notion."

Fenris just grunted. There was no doubt in the dog's ability, but he was just a dog. Hawke's Biscuit taught him not to take hounds at face value. But to be the equal of warriors was unreasonable. "You noble women think highly of yourselves. Humans are the ones are the ones fascinated with bedding elves. Not the other way around. You're not so beautiful that I couldn't control myself."

"You are in my bedroom doorway with a sword. And I learned long ago that rape has nothing to do with beauty, sex or species."

"You have a point. You sounded as if you were … in danger. I figured you might have sprung a trap left by Danarius and I was coming to help."

I was humbled. I hadn't known him a day, and the man was attempting to lookout for me. "Then my apologies. I have been in situations where a man sees a woman alone… and assumes. And I am sorry if my nightmares woke you up."

"They did not." Fenris replied. "I was not asleep. I found myself uncomfortable sleeping in the house with someone else here. I've been on the run too long not to be… over cautious."

By this time Teyrn gotten up from his place in the middle of the room between the door and me, returning to the foot of the bed. He heaved a heavy sigh and closed his eyes. His dismissal of the elf was all the reassurance that Fenris was no danger to me.

"Well, since we are both up let's see what your mansion has in the way of a kitchen. I am starving."

"You haven't been asleep for more than two hours. If you went to sleep after I left. The sun will rise in an hour. You might want to try for a little more sleep."

I grin, one benefit of the taint was not needing a lot of sleep. Of course, always starving was a detriment. "Is that your way of telling me that your larder is as bare as the rest of the house?"

Fenris chuckled uncomfortably. "I have wine in the cellar. I eat little here. Maybe a little bread and cheese. I have a bit of that left, if you'd like."

I shake my head with a little more vigor than I needed. Cheese and I weren't on speaking terms. I wasn't a big fan of cheese even before Alistair wanted some form of it for every meal. "The offer is kind, but no thank you. I know a man who could eat a lot. Ten to fifteen pounds a week and be willing to eat more if offered. Me, if I never saw another hunk it would be too early."

Several minutes went by, and there was nothing from him after the awkward chuckle. The elf didn't know it, but he was competing with Sten on who could say the least. And I wasn't comfortable enough with him yet to let there be silence. It was just then I realized only Alistair, and I were that comfortable.

I slipped out of the bedroll I laid over the mattress and stood. And realized I probably just offended my host, as I normally only slept in my small clothes. And thought, if it was too dark to see his expression, it was probably too dark for him to see my lack of clothing. I pulled on my trousers first and then the top two pieces of my warden tunic.

I clear my throat and say, "Why don't you get some sleep then. Teyrn and I will find a vendor that serves food. Or a tavern. And that way you can have an empty house. Alton should crawl in just before dawn. He never lets a woman wake up beside him."

"You don't find that offensive? As a woman, I mean."

I pulled one boot on and paused, thinking. Alton's antics amused me most of time. He reminded me of Zevran. Many in the tower treated sex the same. That I had been a virgin at eighteen was strange to most of my kind. Mages took pleasure when and where they could. Then there were the eight months of traveling with Zevran and Cailan.

Anders said it best when he said, 'don't get attached enough the Templars have something they can torment you with.'

It was a lesson I took to heart in the tower. Too bad I didn't practice it with Alistair. And Cailan taught me keeping vows for the sake of vows was wrong. "No. Should it? I tried the true love routine once. It failed, spectacularly. He is upfront with them. Leaving before she wakes just avoids drama."

"I have never heard a nobleman speak of carnal relationships unrestricted. Propriety is particularly important to the titled."

I snickered as he kept basing his opinions of how I was supposed to act based on the title Varric had shared with them. It would keep causing misunderstandings. "Take what you know about nobility and toss it out the window.

Ferelden Arls and Banns different from the rest of Thedas. You have your spoiled ones that are your typical pompous royals. The Grey Warden Cousland was one of them. But to be fair, his family was nobility from the founding of Ferelden.

But our king's father grew up on the run and fighting a rebellion from the Orlesians. He never had the opportunity to be spoiled. King Maric granted titles to those who were faithful, and his son King Cailan did the same. I was not born nobility. King Cailan gifted me the title. I am no more noble than you are."

"I doubt you are anything like me. I am a runaway slave."

"I notice that you didn't say 'former' slave. You look free to me."

Fenris shrugged. "I cannot be free until Danarius is dead."

"It is a matter of perspective. Do you think Bethany thinks of herself as runaway of the Circle? Or does she think of herself as a free mage?"

"That is different mages are not slaves?"

"If you believe that you have never been in a Circle controlled by Templars."

Fenris cleared his throat; he did not intend to insult her again. She might leave, and Hawke had asked him to keep an eye on her. So far, most of her comments had been pro-mage. She reminded him of Hawke in that way. He wondered how much interaction with magic she'd had to be this naïve. "Very well, let's go find you something to eat."

"You didn't have any sleep but if you are sure." I was hungry enough not to argue. Besides, normal time to break the fast was in a couple hours. I wasn't waiting that long to get started for the day.


	56. Continuing the Cycle

**Kanta48:** Absolutely. Fenris deserves a friend. Don't give up on Alistair. **savankala: **Me too. he is a joy and a pain to write. Thanks for commenting. **Judy: **Thanks for commenting. **Oscar/other Spanish guest: **Thanks for commenting .. I am glad you liked it. I am officially back on schedule with this story as well. Thanks so much for your patience and and comments. - Also this chapter is a little long.. wasn't a good place to break. Everyone stay safe.

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_9:32_ **Dragon** _20_ **Guardian**—The Gallows, Templar's Quarters

Alistair's head felt the way it did when he woke up from his joining. Truthfully, if he hadn't turned over and seen Cullen's bare back, he would think he was back at the Grey Warden base in Orlais. He dragged his hands down over his face and threw an arm over his forehead, trying not to think about where he was or why.

He had a nagging sensation that if he didn't leave Kirkwall, something terrible was on the horizon. He wondered what had happened last night to leave him ill at ease. Something he would have to ask the man who was softly snoring in the bunk next to him.

He admired Cullen's patience, but admitted to himself that by now the other man's tolerance had to be wearing thin. And he really couldn't blame him. Their past was only going to cover just so much.

Cullen took his duty to the Templars as a calling, while he was just going through the motions looking for somewhere to hide. But his friend had a savior complex. It was something Alistair figured squashed after his experience in Ferelden's Tower of Magi.

He had tried hard not to think about the Tower because thinking about the Circle meant thinking about her. Thinking about her lead to needing a drink. And one drink led to needing more.

Instead, he needed to focus on the daily tasks that being a Templar required. Getting up, preforming his absolutions, standing vigils, taking lyrium, sword working drills and hunting mages.

She would hate it, and it would hurt her deeper than anything else that he was living as a Templar. He had once told her she would never have to fear him. And in the back of his mind, he knew that was one reason he stayed.

It wasn't because he believed or even agreed with the way they treated mages. And if he was honest with himself, living here was making him more miserable.

He hated what the lyrium did to him. He detested the way the mages were treated here. He railed at Cullen's belief that they needed the harshness and forced tranquility that Knight Commander was so fond of using.

He seriously believed her answer to magic was to make every mage tranquil, and that would be the end of the problem. Cullen suggested it was the ale that made him say such things. It wasn't.

He thought about her here and shuddered. They would enjoy crushing her spirit. Then she would be made tranquil, so she could regain no joy. He shook his head as an image of her with dead eyes and a monotone voice appeared to him.

Over his dead body they would make her tranquil.

One benefit or curses depending on the day, was how much alcohol it needed to get a Warden drunk, and how quickly their system metabolized it. He was already feeling better.

Cullen had left him in his smalls when he put him to bed last night. Again, he mentally thanked his long-suffering friend. He knew he had to get up moving but still he lay there on the cot with a blanket spread out over his lower extremities contemplating another wasted night. Something was different about last night, if only he could remember it.

He was trying to motivate himself to get up and move. He promised himself no more drinking. But as soon as he thought it a disgusted grunt passed his lips as he thought of all the times, he'd made that promise. Telling himself this time he would succeed, he pushed himself off the bed and stumbled to the Knight Capitan's private washing area.

He needed to move. The sun was up, and his friend would be rising anytime now and would need the facility.

He stripped and stepped into the bathing basin. One perk of being the Knight Capitan was having his own washing area. The drawback, there was no heat for his water. Alistair poured the cold water over his head to wet everything, wishing he were bathing with her. Telling himself it was just for her magic and hot running water.

He soaped himself, scrubbing as quickly as he could before grabbing the second bucket of cold water, shivering as he poured the contents over his body.

"Andraste's Mercy, Alistair. How do you consume that much ale and have no hangover the next morning? Cullen asked, handing the man a drying cloth.

Alistair grinned good-naturedly. "It's the taint. You only get to live only twenty to thirty years and have nightmares for the rest of your life. But you can drink as much as you want and suffer no major ill effects the next morning."

"Oh, I am sorry for mentioning it. Forgive me."

"No, my friend, don't be. You said nothing wrong. But to be fair, I had a splitting headache when I awoke."

Cullen shook his head in a mixture of remorse and frustration, "A splitting headache. Alistair, you drank away your monthly allowance and racked up a sizable tab. How in Thedas can you drink that much?"

"A dwarf taught me."

"Zevran right?" Cullen asked striping and taking Alistair's place in the basin as his friend moved to the center of their shared room.

"Oghren. Zevran was the elf assassin hired to kill us from Antiva."

Part of last night's tale of the elf at the Rose was making sense to Cullen now. But he still wasn't sure where the brothel fit in. Were the Wardens at a brothel and when tried to kill them.

He repeated Alistair's actions of pouring the bucket of water over his head to wet himself down. "Wait, he was the assassin. I thought you said he was part of your group."

He was both. You know her. She took in strays. He was a stray. At the time, I wanted to say it was because Leliana filled her head with the romance of the Crows.

There he was on the ground telling us the story of how he came to be employed to kill us. Aedan was going to kill him once he got all the useful information. Sten, Morrigan and I agreed. And she stopped Cousland. Paralyzed the entire group. I think it was when he said he wasn't given a choice to sign up with the crows."

Cullen had finished his washing and dried while Alistair strapped on his armor. He was getting a better understanding of the year and the horrors that his friend had faced. Maybe if Alistair could talk about them, then he wouldn't need the ale. "Wait, Rhiannon is smarter than that."

He watched the grin grow into a large smile on Alistair's face and said, "Really? And the rest of you were all right with that?"

"No, I distinctly remember having an issue. Reminding her that the elf was an assassin who tried to kill us. But all she heard was … 'he was that he was a slave with no choice, and that they would kill him anyway for failing'. After that, nothing was changing her mind. Cailan and Leliana sided with her, and then she turned those green eyes on me."

"You gave in?" Cullen said, half laughing. But Maker knew he couldn't laugh too loudly. He had several times broken the rules severely because he knew it was what she wanted.

Alistair shrugged, dressed completely. "She reminded us that Sten was a murderer before joining the group. Leliana had visions. So, Zevran tried to murder us, he wasn't the first. She believed he didn't want to kill us and would honor his vow. She defended him. I think it was then he fell in love with her."

"Who was right?"

"She was of course. Rhiannon has a sense about people. Maybe it's part of her magic. He took the job, not intending to kill the Grey Wardens but to be killed by them. He was as loyal to her as a Mabari. He even killed his lover to protect her from him, when the crows sent him to finish the job and bring Zevran home."

They both lapsed into silence, each thinking about the last time they saw the woman in question. Alistair groaned. He needed a drink. Talking or thinking about her made him thirsty. He turned to leave their shared room, but stopped when Cullen started speaking again.

"But what does a brothel have to do with it? Did you take Rhiannon to a brothel with the elf? Or was that where he ambushed you?"

"What? The only brothel Rhiannon and I were in was the Pear in Denerim. But neither of us used it's… services. We met Zevran on the road coming back from Soldier's Peak, the old Grey Warden base. Why would you think I would bring her in… we aren't talking about this are we?"

"Last night, you dragged two of your recruits into the Blooming Rose. You didn't tell them why, just that you were checking something out. You'd already been drinking, but there was an elf who propositioning you to go up to a room with him. Keenan said you weren't interested, and the elf gave up after a while.

When the recruits tried to get you to leave and cut off your alcohol, you injured both and got another serving girl to get your drinks. When they picked themselves up you were talking about being in a brothel with Zevran."

Suddenly he wasn't thirsty anymore. Maybe this was that ill feeling that he woke with. He'd gone into the Rose several times, hoping another woman could fill that hole Rhiannon tore in his heart. He hated being with a stranger but needed to something to take away the dreams of him and her.

But he came out each time missing her more than when he went in. After the last time, he swore he was never going in there again. And it made no sense to go in there while he was on duty. "What did I say exactly? Did I say it was Zevran? Or that Zevran was there?"

Cullen had finished dressing by this time, too. He picked up his sword and shield. Handed Alistair his shield. "They didn't know. You were so drunk you were mumbling into your ale. They turned their back on you to and you stumbled down the staircase and into Low Town. I found you in the Hanged Man being molested by a blasted hound. Do you remember nothing of last night?"

"Nothing," Alistair quickly confirmed with a frown asked. "Why would a hound be in a Tavern?"

Cullen laughed and followed Alistair out the door and down the corridor. They had services and vigil at the chantry first thing. But with Alistair's need for food, they would stop by a street vendor. "That was my question last night. You told me it was the best place for a hound to get cheese, an ale, and listen to the minstrels sing about Andraste's hound. You even bought the Mabari an ale."

"I did what?"

"You, my friend, need to stop drinking. And telling everyone that you are a Grey Warden and the prince of Ferelden. The warrior with the dog said the Commander of the Grey punishes those that make that claim. And while you are a Grey Warden, it would create complications."

Alistair sighed. Cullen was right. He needed to stop drinking. The last thing he needed was rumors spread by his big mouth getting back to Ferelden. He didn't think they would come looking for him, but he didn't want to chance fate.

He didn't know how he felt about that. It had been over a year and she hadn't searched for him. That hurt more than he wanted to admit.

Which meant he needed to stop thinking about her. But how was he supposed to do that when the only time he didn't think about her or see her in his dreams is when he didn't have dreams? "What else did I forget from last night? Did I insult the hound or the warrior?"

"Only you would worry about the dogs first."

"Didn't I tell you I was raised by a whole pack of them?"

"The flying Andrastians. Yes, you might have mentioned that" Cullen said, grinning. He was elated. It was the first time in almost a year since Alistair was his usual joking self.

Alistair was racking his brain trying to remember the night before. So far only Zevran being in Kirkwall was disconcerting, but not enough to leave him feeling this much unease.


	57. Springing the Trap

**Kanta48: **Thank you. Alistair is almost too easy to write...until he isn't. Yep Zevran is in town. **Judy: **Thank you for commenting as always. **S****avankala:** Me too. I read a story by another author about Alistair arriving at the Monastery and Cullen showing him around and loved the idea. And there is nothing to forgive... google translate cures all ills :)

This is a short chapter because the nest one features a flashback and will be posted later today. I wanted to break at the flashback.

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The line to the meat pie vendor was slow today. It was almost a half hour before Alistair and Cullen took their place at the counter.

Alistair did a double take when he saw the stall owner and understood why it had taken so long to get served. "You Ser, look as if you were drug through a knothole backwards. Are you all right?"

Pietro slowly reached out and passed a package of waxed paper to the templars. He felt worse today than he did after the actual beating last night.

He pretended to Abigail that he received it attempting to get her sister in law away from the cotire. The excuse had worked in the past whenever Abigail asked about the Ferelden Bitch.

Of course, he didn't care what she thought but he wanted her to keep working. Miserable Ferelden wretch. Couldn't even do a woman's job and conceive. He needed offspring to keep the family business going. Too bad he couldn't make a deal with the Tevinter slavers and make enough coin to buy a new wife.

On top of that her sister in law demanded an apology. Not only did she want the apology, but she wanted him to tell Abigail why she had to whore herself. As if she was lily white when she came into his house. He knew what she did to get into the city. She could have him beaten to death. But even then, he would go to the Makers side without issuing an apology.

"I had a misunderstanding with a customer yesterday. Nothing to worry about."

Alistair and Cullen looked at each other knowingly. Customer must be the new code word for cotire dealings. Kirkwall had plenty of groups vying for territory in profits. The cotire were the largest threat.

"Did you report it to the city guard. Mistress Aveline has …"

"Look Templar. I appreciate your business even if you are Ferelden like the rest of the dogs in Dark Town, but I don't need help. Not yours, not the city guards and not …" he paused realizing that insulting the customer probably would make them not come back.

And if that woman's threat yesterday to remove all Ferelden's business and supply was real, he couldn't afford that. "forgive me. I don't wish to create a problem."

Cullen wasn't really a dog person. Alistair was and he wouldn't have an issue being compared to the beast, but he did. The underworld wasn't Templar business but maybe this time he might just make an exception.

He tried to look at the man's side and reminded himself that using his office to get revenge was petty and the man was probably afraid of what would happen for going to authorities. "I will tell the Capitan to keep her inquires discrete. "

"Wait a... Alistair started but was interrupted by a child running toward them.

Serah! Serah! Come quick Maman told me to run and get the Templars, she did."

The boy couldn't be more than 10 years old. He was dirty. Far more than a normal boy of his age. A close inspection of his clothes and body warned the former warden that something was off. He appeared to be a refugee, but the accent was wrong. And there was something vaguely familiar about him.

Cullen on the other hand saw nothing more than a child in trouble. "Why did your mother send you to get a Templar?"

"The child took a deep breath and then all at once said, "There was a lady. She dressed fancy and talked weird. Four men attacked her, and she cut herself and there was a lot of blood. And the adults started acting funny."

"Blood magic," Cullen groaned. They'd had an influx of activity since Hawke and his group had broken the Tevinter ring turning Templars into abominations.

"Where? Can you take us," Alistair asked?

"No Serah. Maman told me to go get the Templars and stay here until she came and get me."

"Boy you need..." Cullen started but Alistair silenced him with a shake of the head remembering both the child in Lothering and Katie's little brother. "Just tell us where?"

"By the Hangman, Serah."

Alistair understood why the child seemed more like a homeless waif than just a child looking for help. The child's face was familiar. He was probably part of the band of thieves robbing unconscious patrons of the Hanged Man. He'd had his own experience with the group a year ago.


	58. Cullen finds Alistair

_9:31 _**Dragon, **_35 _**Drakonis **Low Town outside of the Hanged Man

"Come on buddy."

"You're a god man. Not like my brother. He lied to me. You wouldn't lie to me, would you?"

Corff just sighed. This was the part of the job he liked the least. Wrangling drunks out of the tavern. At least this one didn't vomit on him.

"Rhi lied to me too. I hope they're happy together. Lying to Ferelden together."

Alistair's drunken murmuring drifted off as the man finally passed out, much to Corff's relief. Removing the warrior's arm from around his shoulder he allowed the body to slide down the wall.

He paused just long enough to remove the items of value. A shield with griffins, a pouch with statuettes and a sliver locket from around his neck.

He turned and left the unconscious man to sleep it off. He had taken to removing the items of value so that those intent on stealing didn't kill the drunks as they tried to keep their stuff and were unable to defend themselves. If the warrior came looking for his belongings when he sobered up. They would be safe. If he didn't, they would cover at least part of his tab.

He turned and went back into the Hanged man not sparing another thought for the man in Grey Warden armor.

**Two Hours Later**

"One week a month several Templars should sit down in the Hanged Man out of uniform to listen to the rumors. People tend to overshare when inebriated."

"But Serah, we are not allowed to drink on duty. We would look out of place sitting in a tavern not drinking."

Cullen nodded in agreement. "You are correct. That is why I have made a deal with the tavernkeeper to serve watered down drinks to the Templar on duty that day. But be warned. Even with watered down drinks there is still a possibility to be overwhelmed. That is why we will work in teams of two."

Varnell curled his lip at the new Knight Captain's idea. Of course, leave it to a dog lord to use subterfuge to suck up to the Knight Commander. His lips had to be chapped from the amount of ass kissing he must have done to be promoted.

"Serah, look." The recruit pointed to the man who was efficiently being stripped down to his small clothes.

"Get away from him you filthy louts," Knight Varnell shouts grabbing the two young thieves by the scruff of their necks.

"Varnell take them to the city guard." Cullen said ignoring the glare given by the older Templar. This technically wasn't a task he wanted the Templars to become involved in. It was hard enough to get the residents to trust them enough to report mages. And if they became a policing force, he could kiss any goodwill goodbye.

He'd been promoted to Knight Captain at the Winter's End celebration and was having some difficulty with the other Knights not accepting him. They challenged him at every opportunity.

Intent on not allowing the other Knight to keep the other hand he turned over the victim and came face to face with his roommate from Bournshire Monastery. Once he overcame his initial surprise, he tried waking the other man.

"Alistair, wake up." As he turned the naked man over the smell of ale overpowered Cullen making the blond cover his nose and turned away.

"No Sten. Leave me be. I am, done fighting. The Archdemon is dead and they lied to me."

"You two, help him up. You take the armor. He was a Templar who was conscripted into the Grey Wardens to fight the blight. He helped the Hero end the Archdemon. Alistair… what are you doing in Kirkwall? And where are the rest of your group?"

He motioned for the men to take the half-conscious Warden back inside the Hanged Man. The three Templars had gone ahead of him and were waiting as Cullen pushed through the door and almost gagged at the stench. Someone must have vomited recently. Swallowing hard and breathing through his mouth he followed his subordinates.

"I just took him outside to sleep it off. He hasn't sobered up so you can't bring him in here," the blond man from behind the bar said.

"Where is the rest of his group? Does he have a room here?" Cullen asked perplexed.

Corff shrugged and continued pouring several glasses of ale for Nora to take to waiting customers. "Look he has been in here every day all day for the last week. He drinks until he has no money and then he leaves. A week later he comes back and repeats the cycle. No one has ever come in with him. All he does is sit over there at that table and ramble about someone named Ray, his brother, being the prince of Ferelden and a Grey Warden. If you want to know more Varric will sometimes join him for several rounds of drink."

This wasn't making sense to him. Where was Rhiannon? Or even Aedan Cousland? Did the Wardens make them separate? What did he mean they lied to him? Alistair had never imbibed that much alcohol. "He is a hero, and you throw him out on the street for thieves to steal everything but his small clothes."

"You're a Templar and he's not a mage, so why are you worried about some drunk." The Templar holding what was salvaged of Alistair's armor asked snidely.

Cullen put his fingers to his head and tried to massage away the growing headache. "The man was one of us. My bunkmate at the Monastery. He was forced to give up his calling to fight Darkspawn. He lived through Ostagar and helped end the blight. He had just fallen on hard times."

The recruit who just joined the training at the Gallows two months ago said quietly, "Serah, it looks like he has fallen a long way. My father fell like this and he never got back up."

Cullen took a deep breath. "Thank you Recruit, but Alistair is not your father. He just needs to find his purpose again."

He turned to Corff and said, "I want a room for him."

"No coin, no room. I could of course sell what belongings he left. But based on his past behavior he will drink away the monies before tomorrow."

"What belongings?"

Corff hedged. He hadn't expected the Templar to take interest. And he didn't need to get on the bad side of the Knight Captain. Enough of his men came in here to drink that he could make things difficult. "The ones I keep either because they offer them for more drink, or in case they don't come back to pay their tabs."

"Give them to me."

"Are you going to pay for him? His belongings only cover half."

Cullen stifled the long sigh. The Maker wanted him to find Alistair. Maybe it was penance for wanting her. Or maybe demanding the lives of the mages. But whatever the reason he was being punished maybe helping his brother in spirit would ease the nightmares and give him back his friend. "How much?"

"Fifteen gold sovereigns."

"Andraste's flaming… Alistair."

The drunk warden only moaned.


	59. Not Fighting Fate

**Judy**: thank you for your continued comments. **My Spanish speaking guest**: glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the comment. **savankala:** I aim to please. Cullen finding Alistair took a little bit to get to. Thanks for the comment.

* * *

His armor was weighing him down. He was running as hard and fast as he could, but there were too many Darkspawn between them. Thrusting his sword into the gut of a Hurlock. Alistair pulled back on the blade while kicking the darkspawn off with his foot.

In the distance he watched a beast raise the ax. It fell severing Rhiannon's head from her body. Duncan and Cailan were already on the ground their lifeless eyes staring blanking towards the heavens.

Alistair fell to his knees screaming Duncan's name.

"Alistair, wake up." Cullen said gently shaking his friend.

The former Templar only groaned and continued to whimper.

Cullen could just make out the name Cailan and jostled the man lying prone in the bed, this time with a little more force. He was aware from personal experience how real nightmares could see when in the throws of them.

"Rhiannon! No." Alistair sobbed.

"Alistair, for the love of Andraste, wake up! Your having a nightmare." Cullen shouted shaking him roughly.

The voice telling him to wake was familiar, but he couldn't quite place it.

Alistair opened his eyes and blinked several times his breath coming fast and shallow. Just seconds before he was holding her lifeless body. Now he was somewhere off the battlefield but didn't recognize.

It wasn't the first time someone took advantage of his inebriated state to remove him from the drink and press him into service to fight their cause. That was how he wound up in Kirkwall after all.

He wondered if Castillon gathered his courage enough to get revenge after the Antivan pirate found out kidnapping a drunk Grey Warden was a mistake when the Warden sobered up. Without moving his head Alistair allowed his eyes to travel the room and didn't draw an easy breath until he saw the Templar heraldry on the tapestry on the back wall.

"Alistair?"

Alistair turned his head to the voice and found a familiar blond standing over him. The face was a little fuller than he remembered, but the blue eyes still held the same concern they did as young boys growing up in the monastery. "Cullen. Makers Breath. Thank you."

"Don't thank me, my friend. It's good to see you. Despite the circumstances."

Alistair grimaced. He could only imagine what his friend would think. "I admit, not my finest hour."

He reached up to stop the man from swaying as he focused on the Templar wavering in front of him.

Cullen reached out, grabbed the extended arm, and pulled Alistair into a sitting position.

There was a strained silence as Cullen waited for Alistair to continue. When it stretched longer than the knight captain was comfortable, he cleared his throat and said, "It has been a while. Do you want to catch me up with what you've been doing after I was assigned to the Tower?"

Alistair scoffed softly. "Oh you know, I was conscripted. Fought in a war, almost died twenty or so times. Found out my brother knew about me all along. He survived Ostagar and traveled Ferelden pretending to be someone else. Humiliated me at the landsmeet. Watched them pardon a traitor and left the Wardens. What about you?"

Cullen's reply was just as morose. "Stationed at Kinloch Keep. Ridiculed for speaking out against the Mage abuse. Had my Knight Captain court marshaled for rape. Watched the Tower taken over by blood mages and abominations, tortured for two months, was responsible for culling the mages. Had a nervous breakdown, left Ferelden for Kirkwall. You know the boring life really."

Again, the silence stretched between the men, each thinking about what the other had said. It was up to Cullen to keep the conversation going and he was going to ask Alistair how he came to be in Kirkwall when the door to his quarters burst open.

"Rutherford!" Meredith barked out.

"Commander." Cullen said straightening to attention.

"Did I hear correctly that my Knight Capitan is getting involved in City Guard business, rescuing drunks out of disgusting taverns and bringing them to the Gallows to be coddled in your quarters?" The Knight Commander said looking pointedly at the not yet sober Alistair in Cullen's bed.

Cullen stuttered through an explanation about Alistair being a Templar at the monastery, so he felt that as a fellow Templar he was obligated to step in and help.

Meredith looked doubtfully at Alistair and scoffed. She issued an ultimatum. Alistair either take up his responsibilities or he leave the Gallows. Asking if she was understood and receiving an affirmative from Cullen she turned and strode out of the Knight Captain's rooms.

Alistair sat on the edge of the bed with his head cradled in his hands. The woman's grating voice still felt as if she was trying to dig his brains out of his eyeballs with her fingernails. He could feel her contempt and humor as Cullen told her he was a templar from Ferelden, conscripted to the Grey Wardens on the eve of battle.

He chose not to argue semantics as to when he was conscripted. He was still trying to get his bearings. He could feel the effects of the alcohol wearing off making the transition worse.

She had left the room with orders. Reminding both that he was Cullen's responsibility, and his behavior would reflect against the Knight Capitan. Alistair was in no mood to deal with her. But he needed to find out how Cullen found him. And how he came to be here. Which begged the question where was here?

Minutes passed. Neither man wanted to be the first to ask their questions. Most likely neither wanting to know the answers. But Cullen knew Meredith wouldn't put up with anything less than their best. And until he could find out what drove his friend to be alone and passed out drunk in a tavern outside of Ferelden, Alistair would be no good.

He broke the silence again, "So you were saying, not a good couple of years for either one of us?"

"You could say that" Alistair said bitterly.

"May I ask how you came to be in Kirkwall. The battle of Denerim was only two and half months ago. I would have thought there were Grey Warden tasks still needing to be completed. Or duties for you as a royal in Ferelden."

Alistair jerkily rose to his feet. He swayed and almost sat back down when Cullen rushed over to help his friend continue to stand.

"Blast it. I don't need your help," Alistair bit out angerly. Because despite his assertation he didn't need Cullen's help as he lost his balance and fell back on to the bed.

"I'm sorry. I am an idiot. Forgive me. I know you were looking out for me. I am not in Ferelden because I am not a Grey Warden anymore."

Cullen wisely kept his thoughts to himself. He heard that once a Grey Warden you were one until death. Instead he asked about something worse. "You're forgiven. How many times did you help me in our studies or sword training? But tell me, did Rhiannon leave the Grey Wardens too? The tavernkeeper said you were alone, but I can't imagine she would abandon you. She's not that kind…"

"Shut up!"

"I just..."

"I said shut up. If you value your life, do not mention her to me again. Whatever she is doing now I don't care. She is dead to me. They both are."

Cullen swallowed hard. The only time he'd seen this side of his friend was when the older boys would torment him back at the monastery. There were times Alistair would leave them on their arse when they pushed him past the point where he compensated with humor. It looked as if there was no humor for this subject.

He would have to hold on to his curiosity until Alistair was ready. And maybe that was a good thing. She hated him and had cursed him to be haunted by the ghost of all those killed. Obviously, whatever happen destroyed his friend in the same way the Tower destroyed him. Maybe the Maker sent him Alistair to make up for his part in the Tower tragedy.

"Alistair, I am sorry. I didn't mean…"

"No. I'm sorry. That's just not a topic I can or want to talk about."

"Can we talk about how I found you in an alley in your small clothes being robbed by children."

Alistair rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously. His friend had nothing to do with Rhiannon and Cailan's betrayal. It wasn't fair to take out his anger on Cullen. Besides Rhia had told him about Cullen's confession of secretly loving her and her crush on him. Telling Cullen about the two of them would only unnecessarily hurt his friend, especially since Alistair would never see her again.

"When I left Denerim I didn't know where I was going. I was tempted to go my calling in the Deep Roads early. The Legion of the Dead always accept help to fight Darkspawn. I was on my way to Orzammar with stop in Highover. I was going to see if Duncan still had family there. In a tavern in Harper's Ford an Antivan pirate decided he would take advantage of my drinking. He piled me with enough alcohol that I passed out. He thought I would make a good slave."

Cullen chuckled and interrupted. "Did he live to regret that mistake?"

Alistair almost smiled at the memory of the Antivan pirate standing on the plank begging for his life as he was about to throw the man overboard. "Barely. After I let him live I locked him in his cabin. Freed the salves in hold. His crew short seven members gladly let me off at Kirkwall not willing to sail with me back to Ferelden. I've been here since. I didn't have anywhere else to go."

"You could stay here at the Gallows. At the risk of sounding childish, I could use a man like you. These men, they could learn a lot from you. Alistair your skills with a blade is undeniable and possibly unmatched. And I wouldn't mind having another Ferelden native to stave off the homesickness with. Someone else who could miss lamb and pea stew."

Alistair hesitated. He'd hated the Templars before Duncan rescued him. He had not changed his thinking any. "Cullen, I appreciate the offer but… I never took my vows."

Cullen could see that Alistair would need more convincing. His friend never felt the calling from the Maker. The Chantry was a prison for his roommate. Forced to live there as if they were ashamed because of who his father had been. "That's all right. Nobody here knows that. You were at the point you could have taken them. And if anyone questions your dedication just tell them that your time away from your duties made you rusty. You need time to readjust. It's a place to stay with warm bed and an allowance."

Alistair grew thoughtful. The offer of a bed was better than he'd had since Denerim. Not that he wanted to be King. For a split second he thought about what she would think about him finding Cullen and his offer. He realized how much she would hate it. "All right, but don't get your hopes up for me taking my vows."

Cullen was surprise at how easy it was to persuade his brother to come back to the fold. He knew that while Alistair said he wasn't interested in serving the Maker as a Templar for life. Now that it was his own idea, he would come around and see his duty.

"I paid the tavern keeper for your belonging and saved your armor, but you can't use it here. Why don't we get you a set of plate mail, your lyrium kit and assign you a bunk with the other soldiers. You can put your items in the footlocker. When your done I will show you the kitchens."

Alistair sighed. The alcohol had worn off and therefor the edge was beginning. He agreed to this course and now he was stuck. Besides being with Cullen again might make it bearable this time. He followed the blond out the door trying not to regret his decision.


	60. Authors Note

"To My Faithful Readers… and those who have found this story/p

2020 is a year that has kicked us while we were down. I am currently suffering from going several rounds with the year. Which means … The updates have not been as regular as they should have been.

For you … I say I am so sorry for not updating "Forgiving Alistair" or "Seeking Alistair;"

I promise I have not abandoned either story. I ma just having difficulty writing with my personal style.

I could push through and throw something out there to keep the story updating regularly but that would not be fair to you or the stories I have put so much time and love into them that it would not be fair.

Please know that I am working on the chapters and will update them as soon as possible.

I am so sorry for those who have been checking the status and finding no updates think I am abandoning

My goal is to be back on track (fingers crossed ) after Christmas (Dec 25) with at least one hopefully two chapters for each story before the new year.


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